Juicy Secrets Forbidden Tales of Lesbian Love

A brief summary of what has transpired thus far. (To get a more detailed breakdown of the earlier chapters, please see Pages From a Diary Chapter Links )

Eleven-year-old Mallory is a bright but lonely girl with strict fundamentalist Christian parents whose marriage is going through a rough patch. One day, Mal gets acquainted with a girl named Julie, who lives with her father Jason and his girlfriend Lisa. Soon, the girls become fast friends, and before very long, more than friends. Mallory has a difficult time reconciling her emerging sexuality with her faith, but soon finds her desire for Julie and her interest in sex getting the upper hand, especially once she learns to masturbate.

Meanwhile, her parents’ relationship is really starting to founder. By then, Mallory and Julie are beginning to experiment sexually, but don’t really know what they’re doing. Julie’s dad’s girlfriend Lisa finds out about their curiosity and offers advice, then the girls persuade her to undress and join them in bed. Mal and Julie have full-on sex for the first time, then Lisa gets involved. 

Soon thereafter, Mallory and Julie are confronted by a fifteen-year-old girl from their school named Megan, who tells them she recognizes their feelings for each other, admits to being gay herself, and invites them to drop by her place a few days later. Megan only wants to hang out and chat, but Mallory casually takes charge of the situation, and soon the three of them are naked and having sex.

Mallory’s mother Sharon is spending more and more nights away from the home, supposedly staying with her own mother. So she isn’t there when Mal’s father Dan collapses and nearly dies from alcohol poisoning. Only Mallory’s quick thinking and immediate response saves his life. Once Dan is taken to the hospital, Mal learns that her mom isn’t really at Grandma’s house, but out with another man.

Not long after her father is released from the hospital, Mallory is taken out on a shopping trip by her mother. During the lengthy drive, Sharon explains her side of the story, treating her daughter more like an adult than she ever has before. Mal finds herself feeling sympathetic… but then she’s startled to catch herself having sexual thoughts about her mother, and gets flustered and confused. Those thoughts won’t go away, either.

A few days later, Mallory gets an inspired notion: since their friend Megan has guessed that the girls are fucking Lisa, why not invite her over to make their threesome a quartet? The others agree, and much fun is had.

In the meantime, Mal’s mother Sharon gets a job at a senior center, and she is making plans to go back to school. Needless to say, Mal’s father is most unhappy with this development. On the other hand, Mallory is quite pleased for her mom, and takes the opportunity to get in her lap and give her playful, but subtly flirtatious kisses. Sharon soon excuses herself to take a bath, but Mal feels certain that she’s also masturbating. More then ever, Mal suspects that her mother is secretly gay.

Mal is gradually becoming more popular at school. One result is that she and Julie are invited to a sleepover with Emma and Cindy, a couple of Julie’s friends. Once the parents are asleep, the girls get into a discussion concerning masturbation, which leads to everyone getting naked and engaging in mutual touching. Emma and Cindy love it, and the four of them get together for more fun a couple of weeks later.

Mallory finds a new student project: playing keyboards in a rock band of high school students supervised by Jason, who has also been teaching his daughter Julie how to do mixing work. Mal is much younger than the other members, but her skills soon win the others over. One of the band members is a sweet hippie girl named Jamie, and Mal is immediately attracted to her.

A couple of unhappy developments occur. First, Mallory’s parents make it official: they are to divorce. Mal is utterly disgusted with them both. Second, two of Julie’s cousins, eleven-year-old twin girls named Anna and Nettie, have vanished without explanation. A search is underway, but the twins have yet to be found. Mallory has never met these girls, but she prays as best she can for their safe return.

And now we rejoin our story, which is currently in progress. Do enjoy!

by Rachael Yukey

January 12th, 2006

Julie’s cousins are still missing.

The last time I wrote, I had what I guess you’d call an incomplete picture of the situation. On one side there was Julie sobbing on the phone, and on the other there was the TV news, which was turned down so I could give Julie most of my attention. I’ve picked up more of the details since then, some from Julie, some from the news.

The boy who was babysitting the girls is their seventeen-year-old cousin, and he’s the main suspect. Mostly because he’s a boy, I bet. If it was a girl, they’d figure she’d been kidnapped, too. But it wasn’t the first time he’d watched them, and he’s also missing. None of the people he hangs out with has any idea where he is. Julie doesn’t know him well, and has no opinion.

Also, Antoinette (who everyone calls Nettie) was sick. Like, sick enough to be stuck in bed. She’d been to an urgent care clinic the day before she was taken, and the doctors who saw her are worried that if she’s not getting the medicine they prescribed, she could get sicker. Maybe even die.

Julie showed me pictures of the girls. They’re twins, but not identical. Annamarie (who usually just goes by Anna), is pretty normal height for her age and has brown hair. Nettie is tall with thick black hair and honestly looks so much like Julie it’s a little spooky. Julie has a picture of the sisters standing side-by-side, and Nettie is half a head taller than Anna.

I guess you could say that I’m dealing with this secondhand. I mean, I don’t know either of the girls. But I know someone who knows them. The thing is, you never think terrible things like that are going to come this close to you until they do. I hope that makes sense. And now that it’s happened, what blows my mind is the way life just kinda keeps going on.

Julie and I went to school the next day. She didn’t want to, but Lisa told her it would be better than pacing around the house for hours waiting for news. Everyone had heard about what happened and somehow it got out that the missing girls were related to Julie, so most people were extra nice to her. Other than that, it was a normal first day back from Christmas vacation.

Actually, there was one other thing that happened. We had recess in the gym because it’s like twenty below outside, and there was this boy sitting to the side with his buddies, telling a story about a man in a black mask who snatches little girls from their homes, then kills and eats them. He was telling it in a really dramatic, spooky voice. When Julie overheard she stopped in her tracks, went pale, then marched right up to the boy and kicked him in the shin. Normally she would have got detention for that, but the teacher just led her away, tears streaming down her cheeks.

We went to A.L. on Wednesday. That was submission day for the art projects that were going to the competition, and I had my tree mushrooms in a box, wrapped up in heavy towels. I’m glad to be done with the project, to be honest. I love doing art, but right now I really want to focus on my music.

By that time Julie was getting back to her old self. She’s still worried about her cousins, but I don’t think you can stay panicked forever. Today we had a pretty normal bus ride there and back, reading to each other from our books and discussing our projects.

Jason came home yesterday. He was part of a large-scale search of the forests when he first got to Bronning, and had the scratches on his hands to prove it. After the search was called off, there wasn’t really much for him to do. His sister and her husband, he said, pretty much ordered him to go home and get some rest. So he told them to call if they needed any little thing, and drove home.

I was glad to see him, partly because it did Julie a world of good to have her dad back, and partly because yesterday evening was the first rehearsal for our student band. The other bands had their rehearsals earlier in the week, with Mr. Benson from the school filling in for Jason.

The rehearsal was a lot of fun. Everyone did what they were supposed to and got the songs learned. “Heat of the Moment” (by the way, I found out you’re supposed to put song titles in quotation marks) went almost perfect on the first try… or at least we thought so. We were feeling all smug, and then Jason told us we needed backing vocals.

“I’m not bothering with it for most of the bands,” he said, “but you guys are too advanced to half-ass it.”

So we spent about twenty minutes figuring out who was going to sing what harmony parts. Nobody told me I’d have to sing! But we got it sorted out, and hopefully we’re gonna have the vocals down by next week.

Toxic was harder, because there’s so many breaks, and we weren’t always in sync coming back in. But we finally got it. “Destruction Preventer” is where we really hit a wall, and that’s because Katie isn’t very experienced with the double kick drum technique and kept getting all tangled up. Everyone was nice about it and said we could just pick a different song, but Katie said no. When she said it her eyes were narrow and she looked a little angry. It surprised me; I had her pegged as the ultimate shrinking violet. She promised she would get it, and she said it with such intensity that we all believed her. I found myself liking her more.

We didn’t get time to work on the songwriting part of it, but Jason didn’t seem worried. He said we’d got most of the snags in the cover songs figured out, so that would give us lots of time to work on writing a song in the next rehearsal.

Jamie gave everyone hugs again before we left. That’s what she does; gives hugs and calls everyone brother or sister. Not that I mind; my face smushes right into her tits when she hugs me! There’s kind of a sweet, smoky aroma about her. It’s something I’ve smelled before, but I can’t quite place it.

In other news, I’m spending half my time at Grandma’s house, because that’s where Mom is until the new apartment is ready, and half at home. I think that’s really good for Mom, cause Grandma isn’t very religious. In fact, she thinks our church is totally out to lunch. When she was at Jason’s house on Halloween, I overheard her telling Lisa that Dickson Evangelical worships in a way that’s halfway between holy rolling and snake handling, and I think I kind of get what she means.

 

January 16th, 2007

Julie’s cousins have been found. That sounds like good news, right? They also arrested the guy who took them, and when they did that, they put a stop to an interstate killing spree that’s been going on for over a decade. Great news, huh?

Except that it isn’t, not really. Annamarie is dead. She was beaten, and this horrible, evil creep made Nettie watch. She’d have been next, if they hadn’t caught the guy when they did. The boy who was babysitting them is dead, too. The creep killed him right in front of both girls the day he kidnapped them.

To make matters worse, Nettie is still sick. She’s got pneumonia, and is in the hospital. God. I’m glad they found her while she still has a chance, and I’m also glad they caught that… that FUCKER who’s been torturing and killing young girls for at least ten years. He’s done it twelve times that they know of, and now he’ll never hurt anyone ever again. But it sure isn’t the happy ending we were hoping for, is it? This sucks so bad. I never even met those girls, and I’m crying for them.

Anyway, Jason is on his way up north again, and this time he’s taking the whole family. There’s going to be a funeral, and he figures his relatives up there are going to need lots of help dealing with everything. Because of all this, Jason and Lisa are pushing their wedding back a few months. That means they won’t get to have a honeymoon until Jason is done with school, but as Lisa said, some things are just more important.

***

Had to dash downstairs just now to get the phone, cause Dad can’t hear it when he’s in his shop. The call was for me, anyhow. It was Jamie, from the band. Jason called to tell her we can get together as scheduled on Thursday and rehearse if we want to, and she should act as bandleader if we do. I told her I’d be there if everyone else was coming.

I’m thinking about the word perspective. That’s what a situation like this does; puts things in perspective. All the stuff I worry about, all the times I get upset… it just seems so petty when something like this happens. I mean, so what if my parents are separated? I’m alive and I’m safe. Julie’s alive and safe. We get to sleep in warm beds and eat good food and have parents who love us, even if they’re messed up in some ways.

My new mission in life is to complain less, and be thankful more.

 

January 18th, 2007

Just got home from rehearsal. More on that in a few.

Julie called me from Bronning right after school. The good news is Nettie Hastings is getting better. They gave her antibiotics in the hospital, and they’re working. The bad news is she’s really messed up emotionally. She won’t eat, she barely talks, and when she does talk, nothing she says makes sense. Everybody is worried about her.

Julie says there’s some serious bad vibes flying around between her aunt and uncle. Almost like they’re blaming each other for what happened. I read somewhere once that marriages often split up after the death of a child, but in this case, it seems completely nuts to me. Unless there’s stuff going on here that I don’t know about, I don’t see how it could be his fault or hers.

God, I don’t want to think about this anymore! It makes me angry, and it makes me cry. I miss Julie, and I’m really worried about her. She’s so sensitive to people’s emotions, and it sounds like she’s getting a heavy dose of unhappiness and sorrow. I’m not good with words, so trying to comfort her over the phone isn’t much good. I wish I could hold her in my arms for a few minutes.

***

The rehearsal was good. We’d learned our harmony parts for the backing vocals, and surprise, surprise, it came together really nice. When he spoke to Jamie on the phone, Jason suggested that we just gather around the keyboard and work on the vocal harmonies by themselves, so we tried that. It sounded great!

We’ve got three of the songs absolutely nailed, but “Destruction Preventer” still has problems. Katie isn’t tripping over herself trying to play it anymore, but once she’s been doing that double kick thing for awhile the tempo starts to drag. But it’s massively better than last week, and I don’t think anyone is worried. She’ll get it.

We still haven’t started writing the original song yet. I think we would have if Jason was here, but everyone is scared to jump into it without him to guide us. We spent the last ten minutes of practice just jamming on a blues thing.

When it was over, we struggled into our coats in the lobby of the old fire hall, where the rehearsals are being held. I was pulling up my hood when Jamie tapped me on the shoulder. “Hey, little sister… you want to get together sometime and work on a few of those instrumental harmony parts, just the two of us?”

I looked up into her hazel eyes, and imagined the two of us screaming in harmony when we came together.

“I’d love that,” I said. “Give me a call sometime.” She took me in her arms again, and when I hugged her back I made a point of running my finger down her spine. I thought I felt her shiver, just a little.

Maybe I shouldn’t have written about that, because now my imagination is running absolutely wild thinking about getting naked with Jamie. My pussy is throbbing like crazy, and my left hand is already down there.

No point in writing anymore… it won’t be legible.

 

January 20th, 2007

I’ve been working towards coming out to my mom for awhile now, but I sure didn’t expect to come out to Grandma at the same time.

Here’s how it happened. We were sitting on the couch this afternoon at Grandma’s house, and Mom was gushing about her classes. She’s been a student for about two weeks now, and loving every minute of it. She bought a laptop (it’s a course requirement) and she was showing us some of the software she uses to do her work.

If I’m being honest, I was pretty heavy into smile and nod mode, and I think Grandma was too. We’re both happy Mom is doing this, and that she’s so enthusiastic, but she’d been going on about it forever. It’s not like we had any idea what she was talking about, anyway.

Finally she closed the laptop and started talking about the people she goes to school with. That was better; at least it’s something Grandma and I could kind of relate to. She was talking about a woman named Katerina, who already knows a lot of the material and is helping other students.

“She’s nice,” Mom said, “and she really helped me get hold of some concepts I was struggling with. I just wish I didn’t know what I do about… well, her lifestyle.”

Grandma cocked her head. “Meaning?”

“Meaning she’s – um, maybe I shouldn’t talk about this with Mallory in the room.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not a little kid anymore, Mom.” I had a pretty good idea what this was about, and was starting to get kinda steamed.

Mom shifted uneasily in her chair. “Well, she’s… she has a partner, and it’s not a man.”

“So she’s a lesbian,” I said, struggling to keep my cool.

“Yes! I was surprised. She’s so nice, and helpful, and she seemed so normal…”

Normal. That’s the word that set me off. “So what?” I snapped. “You think lesbians are going to be bug-eyed freaks with horns sticking out of their heads or something? They’re just people, Mom.”

Mom’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t think I like your tone, young lady.”

I folded my arms, glaring. “Maybe I don’t like yours.”

Mom was just running away from feelings she couldn’t deal with. I know that now, and I feel terrible about the way things played out. But I couldn’t think straight right then. I was angry with Mom, but more than that… I was disappointed in her. Big time. I’m nearly positive that she’s secretly gay, so why, why, WHY did she have to say stupid crap like that? All I could think was how unfair she was being, and that just got me madder.

“Okay, girls, take it easy,” Grandma said in a soothing voice. “I think we can agree that lesbians can still be nice, helpful people, right?” She folded her hands on her lap and fixed her eyes on Mom, who looked away. “Why does it matter to you who she’s sleeping with, Sharon? Isn’t it enough that she’s helping you?”

“She’d rather put on her judgey face,” I huffed. “Katerina could dedicate her life to helping homeless people, and it wouldn’t matter because she’s gay.” I knew that I was overreacting, but couldn’t stop myself from blurting out, “Are you going to judge me too, Mom?”

Both my mother and grandmother were staring at me now, Grandma with a look of understanding, Mom with an expression that was something like horror.

“What – what do you mean?” Mom whispered, suddenly gone pale.

I looked at Grandma. “She’s acting all shocked,” I said, then turned back to my mother. “Remember what we talked about in the car that day, Mom? You already know I masturbate. Did you…”

“MALLORY!” Mom practically screamed. “Not in front of your grandmother. What has gotten…”

“I’m familiar with the practice, thank you,” Grandma broke in dryly.

“Did you ever stop to wonder what I think about while I’m doing it, Mom?” I spat out. “I have sex fantasies, same as you do. And guess what: they’re all about girls. Does that make me a bad person, like Katerina? Does it, Mom!?”

“STOP IT!” Mom cried, clapping both hands over her ears.

I’d spent weeks thinking about how I was going to broach this topic. I sure hadn’t imagined it would happen like this, with me getting mad because Mom was judging a perfectly nice person because she was gay. This wasn’t what I’d wanted at all.

Desperate to find a way out, I looked to Grandma. She was just sitting there with her hands folded in her lap, utterly composed, with a look of… was she smiling at me?

Tears were coursing down Mom’s cheeks, and suddenly the anger whooshed out of me. In its place was a sick sort of horror, way down in the pit of my stomach.

“I think that’s enough, Mallory,” Grandma said, speaking gently.

I knew she was right. I got out of my seat, crossed to Mom’s chair, and nestled myself into her lap. I put my arms around her, but she didn’t hug me back. Her body was stiff as a board.

“Mom?” I said, almost crying myself. “Please don’t be mad. I love you.” Finally she wrapped her arms around me and buried her face in my hair, sobbing her heart out.

“Mallory,” she moaned, “Mallory, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…”

“Me, too, Mom,” I mumbled into her sweater, ashamed of myself.

We sat there for a long time. Grandma said nothing; just watched us from her rocker. After awhile she got up, taking the cordless phone into another room. She came out a few minutes later and replaced the phone in its cradle. Mom was still holding me, rocking back and forth a little, still sniffling.

“I just called your friend Emma’s mom, Mallory,” she said to me. “I’m thinking it’d be good for you to go spend some time with her while your mom and I talk. Sound good?”

It did sound good. I couldn’t help but feel guilty about the whole ugly scene, and needed something to take my mind off of it.

So Grandma drove me to Emma’s house, where we hung out for the rest of the afternoon. That was really nice. I think Emma sensed that something was wrong, but she didn’t ask me any questions, which I appreciated a lot. I wasn’t ready to talk about what happened just yet, not even to Julie.

Later, Mom picked me up, and we went back to Grandma’s house in time for supper. We didn’t really say much, but she greeted me with, “Hi, honey,” and kissed my cheek, so at least I knew we were okay again.

And when Mom tucked me in about half an hour ago, on the davenport in Grandma’s den (that’s where I’ve been sleeping while I’m here), she held me in her arms for a little longer than I expected.

“I won’t judge you, Mallory,” she said with tears in her voice. “I guess people can’t really help who they’re attracted to.” She sighed. “Sometimes in life, we find ourselves craving things. Things we’re told we shouldn’t want. Then you carry that need around, hiding it from everyone.” A long pause. “Mallory, what you did today took real courage. That’s what your grandmother thinks… and so do I.”

My ears perked up at that. I sensed a confession there, buried just beneath the surface. I was dying to know what she and Grandma had talked about.

Mom was still talking. “It’s just that I was brought up to believe that two women together like that is a sin,” she went on, “and I guess there’s still a part of me that believes it. You know what the Bible says, and we are still Christians…”

I gathered my courage. I’d hinted at this with her before, but it was time to say it directly. “I’m not a Christian, Mom. Not anymore. If there’s a God that makes me feel this way, and then tells me I’m evil because of it, it’s not a God I want to know. You go on believing whatever works for you, but you’ll have to count me out. I’m sorry.”

Mom squeezed me more tightly now, her chest heaving. I couldn’t see her face in the dark, but I knew she was crying again.

Finally she kissed me and slowly got to her feet. “Goodnight, sweetheart,” she said, and left.

 

January 21st, 2007

It’s Sunday night, and I’m at Julie’s house. Mom has to get up really early to get to class in Wadena tomorrow morning, and Dad… oh, I don’t even remember what his excuse was. Since Mom left, he’s completely checked out. I have an idea he’s drinking again.

Annamarie’s funeral was yesterday, then Julie and Lisa came back home this morning. Jason is staying up north for a few more days; I’m not sure exactly why. I came over after church, and am spending the night. Julie was exhausted when I got here, and I don’t just mean tired. I’ve never seen Julie with so little zest in her. Lisa wasn’t looking much better.

We spent the afternoon sitting around and talking. Actually, I did more listening than talking while Lisa and Julie unloaded about the week they’d spent in Bronning. Well, in the area of Bronning, at least. See, the original plan was for them to stay at Jason’s sister’s house, but the bad vibes there were so thick that it didn’t even last the first day. Jason put Julie and Lisa up in the closest hotel, which is about twenty miles away.

There’s still a lot of confusion about how the girls were taken, because Nettie Hastings won’t talk about it. At all. When anyone asks, she just clams up and starts shaking. They got her pneumonia taken care of, so she was released from the hospital on Thursday, but it sounds like she’s still really messed up.

Someone got the bright idea that it might help if she had her cousin there to hang out with, so Julie found herself in the bedroom Nettie used to share with her sister, surrounded by Barbie dolls and stuffed animals and all the other stuff girls our age have in our rooms. Nettie would pick up dolls or whatever else and go through the motions of playing the imaginative games Julie was trying to lead her through, but she never started anything herself, and mostly responded to Julie in one-word sentences. They tried this twice, with no improvement. Then on the morning of the funeral Nettie woke with fluid in her lungs, and got shuttled back to the hospital.

The funeral itself was a bad scene, to hear Lisa describe it. The dead girl’s parents were fresh back from getting Nettie settled in at the hospital, and they got into a shouting match in the lobby when Mrs. Hastings made a nasty comment to her husband about what happens when he let his no-good nephew watch their daughters. Mr. Hastings fired back that she’d been just fine with his nephew when it meant she got to eat lobster and clams at the club instead of looking after Nettie when she was sick and… yeah.

“There’s no sense to it,” Lisa said, her voice flat and lifeless. “It’s not his fault or hers. I think part of it is they both blame themselves, and are projecting it onto each other. Maybe they already had some marital problems before, and this is just aggravating old grudges… who knows? What I do know is that neither of them is going to be any use at all to Nettie right now, and she really needs a lot of help.”

The room fell silent for a moment, then Julie asked me if anything exciting had happened while they were away. I gave them a fast rundown on how the week had gone, doing my best to keep it light and positive-sounding. So I had to leave out the part about telling Mom I was gay, and how badly I’d messed it up… but I wasn’t ready to talk about that anyhow. Not even to Julie.

When I told them about my post-rehearsal conversation with Jamie, they perked up a little.

“That sounds like a positive development!” Lisa said with a giggle.

“You should have said something like ‘how about right now’,” Julie added.

“Oh, I thought about it,” I replied. “I went from zero to wet, like, lickety-split! I’ll bet everyone in the lobby was wondering where the smell of pussy was coming from. But I made you a promise. I’m gonna keep it.” She smiled and kissed my cheek.

I ended up making dinner. Nothing fancy, just spaghetti, but I couldn’t even have done that much a few months ago. The sauce was from a jar, but I added pulled pork, diced up some chili peppers, sauteed onions with mushrooms, and spent some time getting the seasonings just right. This is all stuff I learned from Julie. After dinner, we watched a movie.

Julie and Lisa were pretty wiped out after the drive, then the big meal, and they were pretty much collapsed by the time the movie was over. So I shoveled Julie into bed around seven, and Lisa turned in just a few minutes after. It’s around nine thirty, and I just spent a couple of hours practicing piano on Jason’s super-cool synthesizer.

It’s pretty weird to be at Julie’s house and basically have the place to myself. Aside from that, it just occurred to me that it’s the first time I’ve been here with no Jason, and we haven’t done anything sexy. I actually think that’s good. It’s nice to see that just being together is fun, even without anything kinky going on. Maybe that’s what love really is: you really want to fuck somebody, but you enjoy their company even when you’re not horny.

And with that Profound Thought from your Amazing Fount of Wisdom, Mallory Kalvornek, it’s time for bed.

 

January 26th, 2007

I’m spending the weekend at Julie’s house. It’s supposed to be my weekend with Dad, but he’s at some convention in Iowa having to do with fertilizer or pesticides or some other chemical thing. Jason came home late on Tuesday, but he’s driving back up to Bronning tomorrow morning. He’ll be back on Sunday, and he won’t be alone. I’ll get to that later on.

We wrote a song yesterday in rehearsal! I mean, we did the whole thing in one shot. There are some rough edges to knock off, but it’s mostly done. We’d burned through our three cover songs, no sweat; even “Destruction Preventer” went pretty good. Katie is still dragging a little on that one, but I think she’ll have it in a week or two.

Then Jason asked Jamie and I if we had any riffs. I’ve only recently learned what a riff even is, but I had come up with a couple of things. I was nervous about showing them off, so I said we should hear what Jamie had first.

We ended up using the first thing she played for us. She said it was something she’d written for one of Jason’s guitar lesson assignments. It was a super-catchy riff, and I instantly realized I could harmonize my keyboard with her guitar on the turnaround. I didn’t say anything, just did it when the part came around again. Jamie’s face split into a wide grin.

We just sat around and jammed on the riff for awhile, then Roger got an idea to alter it slightly for the verse. It was Katie’s idea to make the first half of the verse just guitar and kick drum, with the whole band coming in on the second half. She’s not at all like I thought when we met. I think she’s just the kind of person who hides in her shell until she gets to know you a little.

While all this was going on, Ralph was humming a tune into the microphone. After we’d played it a few times, Katie caught Ralph’s attention. “Is that the melody you want to sing?” she asked, sounding nervous.

“Sure, why not?” said Ralph.

“Hang on a minute,” said Katie. She snatched up a pen and started scribbling in her rehearsal notebook. When she finished, she held it out to Ralph with trembling hands. “I… I don’t know if this is any good,” she said. “But… um… I kind of have an idea for words to go with that tune. If it works, the song could be called “Ear in the Wall.” If it stinks… well… just tell me. I won’t be mad.”

As it turned out, it didn’t stink. At all. Katie’s lyrics were actually really cool. When Ralph sang them to the melody he’d come up with, we instantly knew we had something.

We struggled a little coming up with a chorus, and then it occurred to me that a regular chorus wouldn’t fit this song.

“We should break it down instead,” I said. I outlined the chord changes I had in mind on the keyboard, and Jamie broke into a wide grin.

“Little sister!” she said.

We ended up doing it that way, with Jamie playing those chords on her guitar and most of the band sitting out. While we were going through it I played a little melody that popped into my head, and Ralph ended up using it for his vocal line. Right then and there, Katie came up with some more lyrics to go with it.

We used one of the riffs I’d written for the bridge, and after the guitar solo we repeated that progression with Jamie and me harmonizing on a melody she came up with on the spot.

Jason just sat back and watched, saying nothing at all until we got through our first semi-successful runthrough of the whole thing. Then he stood up and clapped.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” he said, “never once, in all my years directing student ensembles, has a group of students written a song with zero input from me. And it’s fucking good, if you’ll pardon my French. It’s good enough to record.”

God, it felt great. Tossing those ideas back and forth and turning it all into a real piece of music was a tremendous high. I’m really starting to think that music is my thing. Maybe after this school year I’ll lay off the art classes so I can spend more time on it.

After rehearsal, Jamie and I made plans to get together tomorrow at her house to jam. She has the place to herself most of Saturday afternoon, and says she has all the equipment we need. I asked her if Julie could come along with me to listen in, and Jamie agreed.

I don’t know if we can make something happen with Jamie or not, but my gut says yes. I’ve learned to trust it.

Mom and I haven’t talked at all about what came up at Grandma’s house, not since that night. I feel like we need to, but it should wait until she and I have some alone time together. Right now, Mom’s really busy with school stuff, plus she’s moving into her new apartment next week.

Today after school, when we got to Julie’s house, Jason was on the cordless. He gave us a wave and a quick smile, then went upstairs with the phone.

He didn’t return for over an hour. Julie, Lisa, and I were hanging out in the living room when Jason came down the stairs. Lisa was saying something to us, and broke off in mid-sentence. “How bad is it?” she asked.

“It ain’t good,” he said. He rummaged in the wooden cabinet above the fireplace mantle, took out a bottle and poured himself a drink. Then he sank heavily into his recliner. “We need to talk.”

Julie cleared her throat. “Um, do me and Mal need to do the disappearing girl trick?”

Jason rubbed his chin. “No, you need to be here for this. Mal might as well stick around, too. She’s here often enough.”

Lisa looked a little afraid. “Jason, what is it?” Her eyes said she had a pretty good idea already.

“My sister just went inpatient,” he said. “She’ll be institutionalized for who the hell knows how long. Total mental break.”

I’d never heard of a mental break. I guessed it meant you went completely loopy.

“Oh, God,” said Lisa. “So what happens to Nettie?”

“It gets better,” Jason went on. “My bro-in-law was transported to the hospital Tuesday evening for alcohol poisoning, and just this morning he overdosed on trycyclics. Would have killed him, too, if someone had found him just ten minutes later. Nettie’s with her grandma on Darrell’s side for the moment, but that lady is simply too old and feeble to take care of her. The situation has a shelf life of days, at best.”

Lisa nodded slowly. “You’re thinking we could bring her here.”

“If it was just me, I’d already be on my way to get her,” said Jason. “It’s that or foster care. Oh, I suppose my mom would probably be willing to take her, but let’s be honest. I love my old man, but I can’t say I’m crazy about the notion of an emotionally fragile child living with him. I think even Mom would have to admit that it’s a bad idea.”

He blew out his breath. “But it’s likely to be damn hard. Nettie’s going to need a lot of care and attention. She’s already waking up with night terrors, and the shrinks think that’ll get worse before it gets better. She might act out in ways that could be really unpleasant. And depending on how well her parents do, this could be a long-term situation.”

“If you think we can handle it, then so do I,” said Lisa.

“Don’t forget that I’m going to be persona non grata for a big chunk of the next year, if we go through with our plans,” said Jason. “Medic school is going to take up a lot of my time, especially once clinicals get rolling. And you’re pregnant. Radical reduction in energy reserves in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.” He paused, took a sip from his glass. “Maybe it would be best for me to just push back school for a year if we’re doing this.”

Lisa was shaking her head vigorously. “No way,” she said. “I’m willing to have her here, and I still think you should go to school. We can make it work. But we need to hear what Julie thinks.”

Julie opened her mouth to speak, but Jason beat her to it. “Julie,” he said, “there are no wrong answers. You can veto this, and no one will think less of you. It won’t be your job to take care of her, but having her here isn’t going to be easy, and you’re my first priority… you have to be. Tell us what’s really on your mind, not what you think we want to hear.”

Julie shifted uneasily. “It’ll be hard,” she said, “but if we can help her, I think we should do it. It might be good for her to have me and Mal around, you know? We’re close to her age.”

Jason looked to me. “You’re not exactly part of the decision, Mallory,” he said, “but I’d like to hear what you think.”

Julie and I exchanged a look, and I could see my thoughts reflected in her eyes. It was going to make our private activities a lot harder to maintain. But what did that matter in the face of a real crisis? If this was handled right, Nettie Hastings might be able to find herself again and rejoin the land of the living. If it wasn’t, she might never recover.

I blinked, surprised at the turn my thoughts had taken. I recognized it as a terribly adult way to think, mostly logic and not much emotion. Counting the cost. It struck me that a time is coming, maybe not too far away, when I’ll think like that almost all the time. It was a little depressing.

“I think she needs a family,” I said slowly. “And I think… I think she’s not gonna get it from her parents right now. I have that problem sometimes, and…” I paused, not sure how to complete my thought. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that this is a great place to be for someone who needs a family, and I would know.”

“Oh, sweetie,” said Lisa.

“You’ve all helped me a lot,” I said. “I’ll bet you can help her, too. And maybe I can even help you help her. I mean, I’d like to try.”

Jason was leaning back in his chair, sipping his drink.

“There’ll be some things to sort out,” he finally said. “We have to get legal power of attorney for her medical care and stuff like that, but the people I was just talking to say that we can sort that out within twenty-four hours. We can probably even apply for and get foster status, and then the state will give us money for her care. I don’t really give a damn about that, but I won’t turn it down, either. And it can happen fast. Even going into the weekend, the social services people will expedite in situations like this, where time is of the essence. The lady I just spoke to said all I have to do is call her back, and she’ll meet me in Bronning tomorrow at a time of my choosing with papers ready to sign.”

“Sounds nice and easy, then,” said Lisa.

“But the rest of it sure won’t be,” said Jason. “So I just want to lay it out there one more time. If anyone knows of any reason we shouldn’t do this, speak now. I should point out that it’s not irrevocable. if she ends up being too much for us to handle, they can still place her somewhere.”

“I think you should bring her here, and we don’t even talk about sending her anywhere else,” said Julie.

Lisa was nodding. “Go get her, Jason,” she said.

On to Chapter Twenty-Two!

by kinkys_sis

Raya had finished running all of the tests she could from outside the planet’s atmosphere. The data indicated that it appeared to be remarkably Earth-like… in fact, it might be an even healthier world than Earth, though further tests would have to be conducted once we reached the surface. At any rate, Raya concluded that it was safe enough for us to land.

Once again, I was strapped in as we began our descent. It was a much smoother ride than I’d anticipated, as the planet’s atmosphere was far less volatile than that of Earth.

While I’d been sleeping, Raya had analysed various sites on the surface, in search of the best place for our shuttle to make landfall. She finally opted for one that was several thousand miles away from any volcanic activity, near a river that flowed into the sea. There were large areas of open scrub next to what appeared to be dense forest disappearing into the distance.

I heard the hum of machinery when the shuttle deployed its wings. Now we were on a gentle powered glide downward. Raya opened the screens that covered the control room windows. She didn’t need them open to operate the craft, but figured that I would want to see everything. Up until that moment, I hadn’t even thought to ask if they opened.

I saw a glint far away to our left… what could it be? Raya had assured me that she’d seen no signs of civilization, nothing structural at all.

So I spoke up. “Raya, I see something shining. It’s over in the mountains, and it’s not liquid.”

“Yes, I have just picked up faint traces of a power source, coming from that direction. I was certain there was nothing here, but now I am not so sure.”

We banked to the left as Raya took us higher. The speed increased as we headed in the direction I had indicated, approaching a huge mountain. As we drew nearer, I saw the glint several more times.

“That big cliff is artificial,” Raya said, “and it was clearly made by some intelligent race. The flash of light you saw was from a massive doorway; you will see it better when I turn. I sense there is a shield in place, but haven’t yet been able to ascertain where it begins. This is the power source I detected.”

The shuttle had slowed until we were barely moving, but the lights on the ship’s control panels were flashing at a breakneck pace. Raya was clearly working hard.

“I am receiving a signal, but I do not yet recognise the language. I am working to translate it, but it does appear to be a warning of some kind. I am going to land the shuttle on that flat area to the right. Do you concur?”

“Just do whatever you think best, Raya. I trust you to make the right call.”

The shuttle settled lower. “Please remain strapped in, Zelda. I detect that weapons have been deployed and are currently pointed at us, so it may be necessary to make an emergency departure. In the meantime, our defence systems and weapons are fully activated.”

That surprised me. I’d assumed the shuttle was only an escape or exploratory craft, but it had offensive capabilities as well.

After a moment, Raya spoke. “I have translated the message. It is asking us to identify ourselves, and has warned us not to come any closer. It is a strange tongue, not related to any language in my database. The message appears to be computer-generated. I will ask to speak to someone in authority.”

The lights continued to flash until suddenly, a machine-voice came over the speaker system. Raya was relaying a translation to me. “You are ordered to stand down your weapons. Failure to do so will result in your elimination. You must comply immediately.”

Raya said, “I will try to convince that machine that we are not a threat. They are attempting to probe my systems, but I am able to block them.”

As Raya finished speaking, there was a brief flare. The defence screen Raya had raised glimmered; they had just fired on us. I felt a small vibration, but nothing more. They had failed to penetrate our force field.

“That was an unnecessary attack, and it was also futile. We mean you no harm. We are not here in any offensive capacity,” Raya transmitted.

Again our screen flared, several times over, but it held firm. We remained unharmed.

“I recommend that we take out that weapon, but nothing more just yet,” Raya said. A moment’s silence, then she added, “I need permission to take any form of aggressive action, Zelda.”

That caught me off guard. “Oh, um, yes. Go ahead, Raya. Teach them a lesson.”

“Disabling their force field… about to fire.” Raya intoned.

I saw a brief shimmer that covered the whole front of the cliff. Then the shuttle shook slightly, I saw a section of the cliff collapse. Our screen flared once more, another weapon had fired at us. Raya returned fire and a different section of the cliff exploded.

I held my breath and waited. Nothing else happened for a few moments. Until lights began to blink again, and the computer-like voice spoke. “We will not fire again. Identify your intentions. Why are you here?”

There followed a series of interchanges. Raya pointed out how easy it had been to take down their force field and counter their weapons. Then she explained how we came to be there and where we were from.

It transpired that there was no one in charge, and it really was a computer that was speaking with us, the only remaining guardian of this outpost. Their time reference was different from ours, but by our calculations, it had been aeons since there were living beings at the facility.

Identifying itself as Rotan, the computer then spoke to me. “Zelda, you are the sentient being on your vessel. Please converse with me, so that I may better understand. I have no experience in dealing with a situation like this one. There are life forms on this planet, but they do not come anywhere near here and cannot be seen as a threat. I am not programmed for a situation such as this, and have no guidelines for what to do next.”

What could I say? I really had no idea. But I knew I had to lend what assistance I could. “Rotan, I am a child, not a grown being. Do you understand? I am, as Raya says, the only survivor from my ship. We were not travelling here but to another world far away. Our being here now is more of an accident than anything.”

I paused to think, and an idea began to take shape. “From what you say, the civilisation that built you is long gone, and you now have no reason to exist. Perhaps I can give you a purpose once more?”

Raya interrupted. “Zelda speaks great sense, Rotan. I suggest you consider what she says.”

Rotan told us again how difficult this was for him. He needed time to assimilate his thoughts. Finally he said, “Give me one revolution of this planet’s sun to consider what you have said. I will give you an answer then.”

***

Raya had been carrying out further atmospheric tests while all this was going on. It still amazed me how she was able to perform so many unrelated tasks at the same time.

“The air of this planet is ideal for humans, Zelda. Furthermore, I cannot detect any pathogens that might prove to be harmful to you. I am able to detect a few small lifeforms, but so far, nothing of significance. This place seems to be ideal for our purpose. If you wish to descend to the surface, I will be ready to open the hatchway in two hours.”

Shit – two hours! By then, I was impatient to explore this new world. Still, I couldn’t fault Raya for being cautious. I’d find some way to pass the time.

For a while, I used the viewer to take in our surroundings. The forest edge was about a mile away, somewhat downhill from where we’d landed. I could see sunlight sparkling on the waters of a distant sea. A small river cut through the valley, no doubt ending at the sea’s edge. After a few minutes, I’d seen all there was to see from my vantage point.

Raya must have sensed my boredom, because all of a sudden the screen flashed up and there she was, giving me a warm smile. “Hi, Zelda. We have another hour to fill before the hatchway opens. Might I interest you in some ‘fun’?” The viewer joystick vibrated in my hand.

For a moment, all I could do was stare. Raya looked even sexier than she had the day before. Clearly, she’d been busy in more ways than I thought. I watched in awe as she stripped her clothes off, her movements slow and sensual. Wow, it was so erotic. She was doing her best to arouse me, and was it ever working!

Once she was naked, Raya folded her arms as she studied me. “Are you not going to undress for me, Zelda? I like to look at your young body. It makes me feel good inside. Would you like to see my pussy? I want to show you.”

My jaw dropped. Raya had gone from her usual kind self to being intensely sexual. I wondered where she’d looked in her database to learn how to move like that. Taking off my own clothes, I noticed that her pussy was a mirror image of my own. I guess mine was what she was most familiar with.

The joystick buzzed, reminding me it was there. Now naked, I pulled it between my thighs as I saw Raya’s fingers spread her pussy lips apart. She held them open, then began to rub her clit. My toy gave me an urgent summons.

“Put me to your clit, Zelda,” Raya said. “Let me love you.”

I took up the same position as last time, fully exposing myself to her. The view screen split into two halves – one of Raya, the other a tight close-up on my pussy. My bumhole was on display as well.

I pressed the joystick to me. Raya gave a joyous laugh as I squirmed against it, then she set it to vibrating even faster. It felt marvellous. I was incredibly wet in no time, so much that the joystick and my fingers were dripping with it.

On the screen, Raya was rubbing her clit between two fingers, her body hunched forward, knees bent. She never took her eyes from me. I saw naked desire in her expression, like she wanted me more than anything in the universe. That’s when I knew Raya had become much more than the shuttle computer – now, she was my lover.

I felt a tickly sensation at my arse and realised my juices were seeping down into the crack of my bum. The tickling was something new, but it felt lovely, so I raised my hips so the vibrating stick would touch me even lower down.

Oh, my fuck! The throbbing against my arsehole had my entire body tingling. I never knew that part of my body could give me such pleasure, but I guess Raya did. I began to rub my clit while she continued to tickle my arse.

“I have just learned something, Zelda. You get great pleasure when I stimulate your anus.” The vibrations went up another notch.

“Oooohh! Is that the name for it? I call it my arsehole… and fuck yes, it feels good. Er… Raya, can you turn round and show me yours?”

Her image paused for a few seconds. I realised Raya hadn’t configured this situation, but I figured she  was working on it. After a moment, she came out of pause mode, turned away from me and bent forward at the waist. Her arsehole came into view. I wondered if it was a copy of mine.

Then she reached around to spread her cheeks wide for me. “There you are, Zelda. Is this what you want?”

This whole thing was completely new to me, but hey, it was as sexy as fuck. “Play with your arse for me, Raya. Let me see you touch it.”

I watched Raya’s fingers circle around her tight little bumhole, pressing the joystick against my own bits. By then, the vibrations were going mad. I could feel them deep inside, pulsing all the way through to my clit.

Raya spoke up. “May I fuck your cunt now, Zelda? I want to get inside you. I want to make you come.”

Gently prising my labia open, I pushed the bulbous head of the joystick into the opening. My hips surged forwards, taking it inch by inch until it completely filled my cunt. I stared at the screen, enthralled by the sight. She’s fucking me, I told myself. Raya is my lover, and she’s fucking me. On one half of the screen, she’d zoomed in on my image, so close that I could see my pussy lips vibrate.

The other half of the screen was Raya’s image. I looked over at her, she smiled at me. A finger beckoned, and she spun around again, zooming in on her arse. Once more, she pressed the tip of a finger against her arsehole… then I gasped in astonishment when Raya wriggled it deep into her bum.

I never thought of doing that before, I told myself. How did she get the idea? Raya was obviously poring through her database – learning everything she could about sex, then showing it to me.

My orgasm was fast approaching. It was going to be massive, I could tell. “D-does that feel good, Raya, fucking your arse?” I managed to gasp.

Raya’s half of the screen switched back to her smiling face. “Why don’t you try it?” she said. “Then you’ll know for yourself.” The shot returned to her arse, and I spent a moment watching her finger moving in and out of that tight hole.

The way I was seated, it was a bit of a struggle to get a finger between my bum cheeks, but somehow I managed. I found my anus was all slippery and wet, probably from the juices I’d leaked. Anyway, it only needed a hint of pressure before that finger slid into my arse.

I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I got this quivery sensation in my tummy that made my head swim. Of course, the sheer naughtiness of what I was doing made it all the more exciting  – and better!

I was fucking my arsehole with one hand and working the joystick around in my pussy with the other, seeing it up close on the left side of the terminal screen. And there was Raya on the right side, putting on this incredible sex show for me.

By then, she was adept at reading my body language. “It is time, my little lover,” she murmured in that sexy voice she’d learned for moments like this. “Come for me. Come for your Raya.”

The joystick was vibrating harder than ever, and I’d managed to get most of its length into my pussy. Its powerful buzzing had me trembling from head to toe. Oh, God, so close…!

On Raya’s half of the computer screen, she’d turned back to face me, openly stroking her bare slit. “Oh, Zelda, I’m coming now… watch me come for you!”

I couldn’t believe it – she was coming! The look on her face was one of pure joy as she fucked herself, little jolts of pleasure shaking her slender frame. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her, even when my own orgasm raged through me. I finally had to shout for her to stop.

The buzzing of the joystick was instantly reduced to a tiny pulse. Slowly dismounting the device, I slumped back in my seat, utterly drained. No question, it was the most intense climax I’d ever had.

Raya cooed, “My beautiful lover. You came so well for me.” She paused for a moment, then continued, “I now have the strangest feelings, Zelda. I could detect your pleasure, and also my own. In addition, there is a sense of what I can only refer to as… happiness. For one brief moment, I seemed to be experiencing a genuine orgasm. I have consulted my database, and can find nothing to account for this phenomenon. How can such a thing be possible?”

I gazed at her image. “I think… I think you’re falling in love with me, Raya. Don’t ask me how, because I haven’t a clue. But it’s there in your eyes, and I can hear it when you speak to me.” Reaching out to touch the screen, I whispered, “I love you, too.”

Suddenly Rotan’s voice broke in, startling me so badly that I nearly fell out of my seat.  “I have monitored the waves coming from your craft,” he said. “There is only goodness, with no cause for concern. I have decided to trust your intentions.”

“Thank you, Rotan,” I said. “Does this mean we’re allowed to leave the shuttle?”

“Affirmative. I am preparing the facility before opening the gateway for you to enter. When you do, I must ask that you touch nothing, at least for now. It might be dangerous,”

Leaping from my seat, I did a little victory dance. “Yay, Raya! We’re going in.”

***

Raya didn’t waste time while we waited. I used the viewer to watch the drone she sent out. It swooped down several times to collect samples of water and various portions of the wild fauna. When the drone disappeared over the forest, Raya switched my visual to the onboard camera.

Now I saw a wilderness of giant trees. It was said they had existed on Earth in the past, but I had never seen the like. A few flying creatures were about, but these could not be clearly seen through the dense canopy. We had no idea what might exist below. Only once, as the drone returned to us through the grasslands, did I catch the movement of something large at the very edge of the forest. Raya had also seen it, but by the time she brought the drone in for a closer look, it was gone.

Raya ran her tests, then announced “The water is very pure, Zelda; you will not go thirsty. Try a taste. It will almost certainly be the first fresh water you ever had.”

She filled a beaker for me, and I took a cautious sip. My God, it was amazing. Pure water, crisp and clear, that hadn’t been recycled a million times.

I’d just drunk down the last of it when Raya announced, “The gateway is moving, Zelda.”

I watched it separate into two halves that slid slowly aside. The interior was brightly lit, but from our position, we were unable to see inside.

I assumed we would be exiting the shuttle and walking to the gate, but Rotan told us, “Raya, there is ample room for you to bring your vessel inside. You will enter a large hangar.”

Raya began a cautious approach. There wasn’t a great amount of wind, but there could be updrafts closer into the cliff face that might throw us off course. At any rate, our craft drifted in without any issues.

I gasped upon entering, my senses reeling at the sight. The place was enormous. There were a number of strange-looking craft lined along one side that appeared to be attack planes of some sort. Various vehicles of many different sizes could also be seen.

We settled lower, Raya turned the shuttle around to face the entrance before she touched down, then cut the drive.

Rotan spoke. “Welcome, Raya and Zelda. I must close the gateway, but it will be opened any time you wish.”

Our hatch opened and a ramp slid to the floor. “You may exit, Zelda,” Raya said. “I will be watching.”

I descended the ramp until my feet touched solid ground for the first time in years. The enormity of the occasion and the vast scope of my surroundings nearly overwhelmed me. I felt dizzy and almost fell.

“Zelda, breathe deeply but slowly, and focus on the floor for now. Let yourself adjust gradually. You will be fine.” It was Raya’s voice more than anything else that calmed me.

I heard the whir of a motor, then a small vehicle drifted towards me driven by a person… or so I thought. It slowed to a stop in front of me, and the driver spoke with Rotan’s voice. “Please climb on board and strap yourself in.” Of course, Rotan had our language programmed in his database by then.

The driver wasn’t a person, but what I would call an android, although it looked remarkably humanoid in a strange way. Its face was tall and thin with very strongly defined features, more unusual than unpleasant.

I made sure the view-cam strapped to my head was secure, then clambered on board. The vehicle rocked very slightly as it adjusted to my weight.

“I will take you to the Command Centre. It is the best place for us to converse. It will not take long to get there. Please let me know if we move too fast for you.”

Fast? Shit! We flew through passageways. Quite literally, for this thing had no wheels. Still, the driver seemed to be in complete control, so the speed never bothered me. We went up several levels by steep ramps, once in an elevator. I hoped it wouldn’t be necessary for me to find my own way out, because I would have been utterly lost.

Finally, a door opened ahead of us. I would have known it was a control centre without being told. There were banks on banks of screens, desks and chairs filling the space. These things were different from how I remembered them, clearly designed for the beings who had occupied this place.

I noticed several androids moving about. The android that had driven me there said, “They are waking up the systems and ensuring that our equipment is still in working order.”

“Where is Rotan?” I asked. “That’s who I was speaking to before.”

“I will be Rotan for you. This way, you have an entity to speak to instead of a disembodied voice. Your Raya is in communication with me at all times, and we are sharing data about our two races. I have established to our satisfaction that you are friendly, so you may ask me whatever you like. There is no need for us to conceal anything.”

I had a million questions, but struggled to ask even one. It was all too much for me to take in. Luckily, Raya recognized my dilemma. “Zelda, do not worry. I will learn what is important for now. All you need do is be curious, as a child should be.”

Rotan spoke again. “Soon, I will have a surprise for you both. I think you will be pleased. Until then, I will show you how to use this desk to take a tour of the planet.” Moving over to one of the desks, he flipped a switch, and a hologram appeared above.

I lost track of time, completely absorbed in what I saw. This world had eight distinct continents. There were also two large polar ice caps, like the ones we had on Earth thousands of years ago, before the yellow star Sol melted them away. Except for the whiteness of the ice and snow and the blue of the seas, everywhere else was green. I knew now that I’d been extraordinarily lucky to have landed on this planet.

And yet… I was alone. No, not quite, I had Raya, but she was still a machine, however hard she tried to be more than that.

I turned away from the screen, tears filling my eyes. I may well have stumbled on paradise, but what good was it if there was no one real to share it with me?

I felt a hand gently lift my chin. Raya was standing before me.

My knees went weak and I felt myself falling. Strong arms took hold of me and pulled me close. She whispered in my ear, “Zelda, it is me. Relax, let me hold you.”

When I had recovered, I touched her face. “How? It’s not possible, you can’t be here.”

“But here I am. Rotan’s people were experts in their work with artificial beings. I am as near to human as is possible without actually being flesh and blood. Rotan has been analysing you since we arrived. I gave Rotan full access to the knowledge I have built up about you.”

Struggling to take it all in, I pulled Raya close once more and I simply clung to her while I cried.

Rotan hesitantly approached us. “Perhaps it is best if you take Zelda back to your craft. Or if you wish it, we also have accommodation you may use. She has had enough today for one so young.”

“Zelda?” Raya asked me.

“I want to go back to the shuttle.”

I was surprised yet again when I felt the warmth from Raya’s hand when she took hold of mine. I still couldn’t quite believe this was happening. But there she was. So real… so very real.

***

Back on board, I realised I was ravenously hungry. After all, it had been hours since I had last eaten. As I went to the rations cupboard, Raya stopped me. “Will you let me prepare your meal? I am happy to have this opportunity to do things for you.”

I watched as she assembled the ingredients for a pot of soup. Now I had a proper chance to see how beautiful she was. Watching the graceful way she moved, there didn’t seem to be anything artificial about her.

Suddenly I didn’t feel quite as hungry. “Raya, leave that a minute. Will you come here?”

She turned to face me, and I knew right away that she’d been waiting for this moment. It’s also when I got my first indication that Raya was not genuinely human: the eyes were different. Perhaps it was the manufactured lenses.

Whatever it was, it didn’t matter – and I didn’t care. Raya was no longer an image on a screen, but something physical. She was warm, soft, incredibly lovely… and I wanted her so badly it made me ache inside.

We drifted together, our mouths met, I experienced my first lover’s kiss. It was amazing, and I immediately wanted more. I was eager to explore every imaginable pleasure with Raya, but at that moment, just kissing her was enough.

Finally, I drew away, giving her an adoring smile. “Raya, you can make love to me now, I mean, properly make love to me. You can touch me. We can learn together.”

“I would like that very much, Zelda,” she replied, then began to undo the clasps on my jumpsuit.

Soon I was standing naked before her. “Now you,” I said.

Nude, she was utterly flawless. Every detail was as I remembered from the images she’d created on the computer screen. Taking her hand, I said, “Take me to bed, Raya. I want to love you.”

She lay down alongside me in my cot. It was a snug fit, but that only brought us closer. I felt her warmth as our bodies nestled together, and had to kiss her again.

Exploring Raya’s body was a revelation, especially since I’d never had the chance to make love before. I was astonished, yet overjoyed when her nipples responded to my teasing fingers, swelling visibly. She slipped a hand between my thighs, her fingers gentle as she fondled me.

I yearned to feel her inside, and then she was carefully sliding a finger into my vagina. I braced myself for pain, but there was none. Only pleasure. With a happy sigh, I embraced the moment.

When Raya found my clit, she touched it in a way I’d never felt before, and I gasped in astonishment. Her lips found mine, and she kissed me with unbridled passion, her tongue probing my mouth. I could feel my orgasm approaching, a spot of warmth that rapidly mounted into a raging fire.

Needing to breathe, I broke our kiss, and Raya began to nibble my ear. “Zelda,” she whispered. Then I was coming. She held me tightly as my body went out of control. I shook, I convulsed, I screamed, “Raya, fuck me!” And she did, working her finger in and out of my cunt until I saw stars.

It was the best orgasm I’d ever had. All I could do for a few minutes was lie motionless while my lover held me. Eventually, I was able to sit up and say, “It’s my turn to make love to you, Raya. But first, just lie there for me, okay? I want to look at your gorgeous body.”

Of course, it wasn’t long before I had to do more than look. I began to touch her all over as she watched me. Using two fingers, I eased her pussy lips apart, amazed at what I saw. “Raya, you… you’re wet. How can that be?” I dipped a finger inside her, then observed how it glistened. I held it to my nose and sniffed. It smelled just like I did! Raya’s body had reacted exactly the same as mine did when she touched me.

I hadn’t the faintest idea why, but I bent and kissed her clit. Her hands came down to caress my head as I kissed it a few more times, then took the tiny nubbin between my lips. I could feel Raya’s hips move as I began to suck.

I learned as I went – when to suck, when to lick or tease with my tongue. Raya began to moan, so I must have been doing something right.

Then she was coming, really coming. I kept going, working on her cunt until she gasped, “Please stop, Zelda. I think I am about to shut down.”

I stretched out next to Raya, taking her in my arms. When she opened her eyes, her expression was one of surprise. “Now I am beginning to understand what you feel, Zelda,” she said. “Rotan has done more than give me a body… he has also enhanced my physical senses. But more, he has given me the ability to experience feelings; emotions. Perhaps not to the degree that you do, but nonetheless, I experience something well beyond what my programming can comprehend. And I feel… happy!”

“That’s wonderful, Raya,” I told her.

“But there is more,” she continued, her eyes capturing mine. “I now truly understand what it means to feel love. That is also an emotion I am feeling now.” She drew closer, until our noses were nearly touching. “I am in love with you, Zelda.”

No one had ever spoken those words to me. “I… I love you, Raya!” I blurted, then began to cry.

She spoke not a word… just took me in her arms, holding me as I sobbed my heart out. After a few minutes my tears were all shed, and I was content to lie in my lover’s embrace. Somehow, I fell asleep.

***

Later, I ate my meal while Raya was occupied carrying out tests on herself, trying to determine the extent of her new range of emotions. After a while, she returned to sit with me.

“What have you discovered?” I asked.

She nodded. “Quite a bit, actually. Rotan’s people must have been extremely advanced in some areas of technology, yet backwards in others. Their defences were very weak and easy for me to overcome. Perhaps this was an era of peace, and they simply didn’t need anything more.

“One thing I have yet to determine is what happened to the people of this world. There is no information in his database – it seems to have been wiped. They must have abandoned the planet, like the people of Earth, but where did they go from here? We may never know.”

I understood everything she said, but wasn’t too concerned with what we did or didn’t know. There was a big beautiful world stretched out before us, and I wanted to see more of it. “So what happens now?” I asked Raya. “Should we remain here, or go out and explore?”

Raya smiled. “I believe I know what your choice would be.”

“Well, yes. I’d love to get a better look at this world. I keep wondering about that forest, for one thing. We did see something moving at the woods’ edge. Maybe Rotan has some idea of what we might meet there?”

Raya went quiet for a moment. I knew she was receiving data from Rotan. A moment later, she said, “He has informed me that there are forms of intelligent life here. They are small in numbers, and seldom come anywhere near here. I agree with you – we should explore the planet’s surface. Let me inform Rotan of our decision.”

This time Raya relayed the message out loud, so I could hear too. She let Rotan know we would be away for a while, then asked if we might be allowed to return later.

Rotan spoke. “This facility is here for Zelda to use. Her presence on our world has given us a purpose again. Please stay in touch, Raya, and take care of our little one.”

I turned to Raya, still feeling giddy with excitement. “We set out first thing in the morning.”

On to Chapter Three!

A brief summary of what has transpired thus far. (To get a more detailed breakdown of the earlier chapters, please see Pages From a Diary Chapter Links )

Eleven-year-old Mallory is a bright but lonely girl with strict fundamentalist Christian parents whose marriage is going through a rough patch. One day, Mal gets acquainted with a girl named Julie, who lives with her father Jason and his girlfriend Lisa. Soon, the girls become fast friends, and before very long, more than friends. Mallory has a difficult time reconciling her emerging sexuality with her faith, but soon finds her desire for Julie and her interest in sex getting the upper hand, especially once she learns to masturbate.

Meanwhile, her parents’ relationship is really starting to founder. By then, Mallory and Julie are beginning to experiment sexually, but don’t really know what they’re doing. Julie’s dad’s girlfriend Lisa finds out about their curiosity and offers advice, then the girls persuade her to undress and join them in bed. Mal and Julie have full-on sex for the first time, then Lisa gets involved. 

Soon thereafter, Mallory and Julie are confronted by a fifteen-year-old girl from their school named Megan, who tells them she recognizes their feelings for each other, admits to being gay herself, and invites them to drop by her place a few days later. Megan only wants to hang out and chat, but Mallory casually takes charge of the situation, and soon the three of them are naked and having sex.

Mallory’s mother Sharon is spending more and more nights away from the home, supposedly staying with her own mother. So she isn’t there when Mal’s father Dan collapses and nearly dies from alcohol poisoning. Only Mallory’s quick thinking and immediate response saves his life. Once Dan is taken to the hospital, Mal learns that her mom isn’t really at Grandma’s house, but out with another man.

Not long after her father is released from the hospital, Mallory is taken out on a shopping trip by her mother. During the lengthy drive, Sharon explains her side of the story, treating her daughter more like an adult than she ever has before. Mal finds herself feeling sympathetic… but then she’s startled to catch herself having sexual thoughts about her mother, and gets flustered and confused. Those thoughts won’t go away, either.

A few days later, Mallory gets an inspired notion: since their friend Megan has guessed that the girls are fucking Lisa, why not invite her over to make their threesome a quartet? The others agree, and much fun is had.

In the meantime, Mal’s mother Sharon gets a job at a senior center, and she is making plans to go back to school. Needless to say, Mal’s father is most unhappy with this development. On the other hand, Mallory is quite pleased for her mom, and takes the opportunity to get in her lap and give her playful, but subtly flirtatious kisses. Sharon soon excuses herself to take a bath, but Mal feels certain that she’s also masturbating. More then ever, Mal suspects that her mother is secretly gay.

Mal is gradually becoming more popular at school. One result is that she and Julie are invited to a sleepover with Emma and Cindy, a couple of Julie’s friends. Once the parents are asleep, the girls get into a discussion concerning masturbation, which leads to everyone getting naked and engaging in mutual touching. Emma and Cindy love it, and the four of them get together for more fun a couple of weeks later.

And now we rejoin our story, which is currently in progress. Do enjoy!

 

by Rachael Yukey

December 21st, 2006

I’m turning into a lousy diarist. It’s been over a week since I’ve written anything down, but I’m not going to beat myself up over it because I have been biz-ZEEE!

I like that. They should put it in the dictionary. Busy is what normal people do. When you’re juggling as much stuff as I am, you’re biz-ZEEE!.

See, I’ve been thinking about what separates the kids who go to A.L. from those who don’t. I wonder how much of it is actual smarts, and how much is just a drive to always be DOING. Julie and me, we don’t watch a lot of TV or play video games. We’ve always got projects, and we see them through. Me, I get obsessed with stuff. Right now I’m obsessed with my piano playing, to the point where I’m having to be really disciplined to leave time for my art.

So I guess let’s start with that stuff, since I’m playing catch-up here (not to be confused with the yucky red stuff my dad puts on his burgers, that’s catsup, or ketchup depending on what dictionary I look in!). Okay, maybe I shouldn’t try to make funnies. That came out sounding like what Lisa calls a Dad Joke. Blech.

So: art. I finalized my concept for the line drawings, got Mrs. Kenner to approve it, and I’m mostly done transferring it to the tree mushrooms. It’s spread out over four mushrooms, and the way I set it up they work by themselves, or you can arrange them a certain way and you get a panorama. It’s kind of slow going because the mushrooms aren’t an easy surface to draw on, and if I make mistakes, I can’t erase them. So I have to be really careful, but I’m getting there.

Now piano. I’m having to divide my time a little. I’m working on the Chopin piece, and I’m not gonna get that one down overnight. It’s hard! I also signed up to be in one of Jason’s student bands this spring. There’ll be five bands, and each band will play four songs at the spring concert. The idea is we write one song, and play three that were recorded by other artists. Turns out that those kinds of songs are called covers. 

Jason listened to me play, and guess what? He placed me in an advanced group! “Actually, it’s THE advanced group,” he told me. “The best of the other groups stretches the definition of ‘intermediate’ to the breaking point. The kids in this one are all quite a bit older than you, but you’re just too good for the ones with kids your age.”

It’s kinda weird, because everyone in this band except me is in high school. We don’t start rehearsing until next month, but Jason brought us all together for a band meeting last week.

There are five of us. The singer is a junior named Ralph who always wears sunglasses and has long blonde hair. The drummer’s name is Katie, a super-skinny blonde who doesn’t seem to have much of an opinion about anything. The bassist is a chubby, cheerful kid by the name of Roger, and the lead guitarist is a girl called Jamie. She’s really pretty, about medium height with shoulder-length dark brown hair. They all play really well, and Ralph has what Jason calls a “scorchin’ set of pipes”.

We played together a little. None of us know the same songs, so we did what’s called a 12-bar blues jam. I was the only one unfamiliar with how that went, and the high schoolers all seemed kind of annoyed to have this little kid in their band who didn’t know anything. Nobody said it out loud, but you could feel it in the room. But when we started playing and the others found out I could follow by ear, they warmed up to me! Ralph sang a bunch of verses that sounded like they might have been pulled from more than one song, and me and Jamie took turns improvising solos.

Jamie has obviously had a lot of practice doing improv and I haven’t, but I just kind of went with scales and notes that I knew would fit over the chords, and listened to Jamie’s note choices whenever it was her turn. It started out okay, and then got better! We just kept playing that 12-bar progression over and over for like ten minutes, and at the end everyone was smiling and laughing. It. Felt. GREAT!

Then we sat down and picked songs. That was tough. I think the biggest surprise for me was how many of the kids in the band were into older music. Ralph and Roger, who as it turns out are really close friends, both like rock from the 70s and 80s. Jamie is into heavy metal. The only one who really seemed to be a fan of newer stuff is Katie.

My parents have such heavy restrictions on what I listen to that I didn’t know much. I’m pretty sure nobody in the band wants to play Christian contemporary! Ralph and Roger had put together a playlist of ideas on Ralph’s iPod, and Jamie also brought one in. So I just listened to what they had, and made my suggestions from there.

We ended up with a song from Ralph and Roger’s list called Heat of the Moment by a band called Asia. Never heard of it, but it has what Jason called a breakdown section, with some really neat stuff for me to play on the keyboard.

We picked a heavy metal song for Jamie, but not one of her initial suggestions. It was Jason who suggested that we play some power metal, because we’re a band with a keyboardist. I had no idea what power metal was, but Jamie did. It comes from Europe, and it usually has lots of keyboards, fast tempos, and big sing-songy choruses. Anyhow, the moment Jason mentioned power metal, Jamie immediately said “How about this song called Destruction Preventer? I have it here on my iPod.”

It turns out Destruction Preventer is by a group called Sonata Arctica. They’re Finnish, and are pretty popular in Europe. It’s a long song with lots for me to do, even some places where the guitar and keyboard trade solos. Jason had never heard it before, but after listening to it he loved the idea because the song is kind of “progressive” (which means it has a lot of parts besides just verse-chorus-verse), and he thought a band at our level ought to tackle something challenging. The big concern was about the vocals, which are REALLY high in some places! But when Jason brought it up, Ralph simply looked him in the eye and said, “Challenge accepted.”

We had to practically drag a suggestion out of Katie. She finally said she wanted to do a Britney Spears song called Toxic. That one I’d heard of, at least! We listened to it, and there was general approval. Roger called it a “bass player’s wet dream,” and I thought it sounded fun because there’s just a ton of stuff for me to do. We weren’t sure at first where the guitars fit in, but there were some parts Jason was pretty sure were actually played on guitars. It’s just that there were so many studio effects laid on them they kinda sounded like synthesizers. So Jamie will take those parts.

That just left the question of vocals for the Britney Spears song, since it’s a girl singer. But Ralph thinks he can pull it off.

So that was that. We’re all going to learn the songs during Christmas break, and we’re also supposed to try coming up with riffs and ideas that we’ll use to write a song of our own at the first rehearsal. I’ve been doing most of that at Julie’s house, because Jason has a good sound system that helps me really hear the parts (which I’m learning by ear), and he also has a GREAT synthesizer so I can actually find sounds that match the recording. It’s fun. I’m really getting into music lately, and think maybe it’s what I want to do with my life.

One cool thing that happened at the band meeting was Jamie hugged me on the way out. I said before that she’s pretty, but that’s not quite right. She’s actually smoking hot! My face was mashed into her boobs when Jamie held me, and I got a little high on that.

“Can’t wait to make the rock with you, little sister,” she said. Then she hugged Julie. I forgot to mention it, but Julie is attending all the band meetings so she can practice mixing sound on the jam sessions. She is, after all, going to be sound engineer for the spring concert.

After everyone else was gone, Julie nudged me. “WOW. Did you feel how awesome her tits are?!”

“Oh, I might have noticed,” I answered with a grin.

Who knows, maybe we can get something going with her! I’m not sure what it is exactly, but there’s something about Jamie that makes me think she might like girls. Okay, she’s a lot older than me and Julie, but so is Megan… and Lisa, of course. Not to mention my mother!.

Speaking of Mom, I had a chat with Julie and Megan about her, just a few days after I made my last diary entry. The last time we talked about Mom was after I eavesdropped on her masturbating the day of our trip to Alexandria. Our discussion today was even more interesting. We were in Megan’s little basement domain, sprawled out on the big wraparound couch.

After I’d finished spilling my guts, Megan fixed me with a sly little smile. “This whole incest angle has you hotter than a snake on the beach at noon, doesn’t it?”

My cheeks grew hot. I hate the way I blush, so I stared down at my hands.

“Oh, for Christ’s sake, stop,” said Megan, giving me a light shove. “You think you’re the only one who thinks like that? Go look up incest porn on the internet. It’s fucking everywhere! You’re not alone, believe me.”

I forced myself to meet her gaze. “No kidding?”

“No shit. Remind me to show you this one website that I really like. Oh, and here’s a fun fact. I’ve diddled myself more than once thinking about getting freaky with my mom. Not that the Queen of Hetero Sanctimoniousness would ever stoop to something as vile as lesbian sex, especially with her own daughter. But it sounds to me like you might have a shot.”

My heart skipped a beat. “You really think so?”

“Don’t you? Jesus, kid. You climb in your mom’s lap and kiss her neck a little, then she flees to the bathroom and frigs herself off in the tub. Do I need to draw you a picture?”

I looked at Julie. We were snuggled up with our arms around each other, but she hadn’t spoken for a while. “What do you think?” I asked her.

Julie met my eyes. Her face was solemn. “You sound like you want to go for it.”

“Not without you,” I said, understanding where her head was at. “I won’t break my promise. Not ever.”

She smiled, and relief flooded through me. It was a real smile, the patented Julie Hansen Happy Face that lights up the whole room. “If you can get your mom naked and in bed,” she said, “I’ll make an exception. On one condition, that is.”

I smiled back at her, knowing where this was going. “What condition?”

“That you get me in on the action as soon as possible!”

We came together in a hungry kiss. Megan was right; this was getting me so hot I couldn’t see straight! I could tell Julie was turned on, too. I grabbed her ass, and she kissed me even harder.

We were so into our tongue action that we didn’t notice Megan getting to her feet. Suddenly she was looming over us, hands on her hips. Breaking our kiss, we looked up at her.

“Dirty little girls,” she said, shaking her head. Her face was the picture of pinched disapproval. “I know what you two have been up to. SO naughty. Does Mommy have to spank?”

I felt a delighted smile coming on, but managed to force it back. “Is Mommy mad?” I said, putting a frightened quiver in my voice.

“It’s dirty!” Megan snapped. I actually flinched a little. She was really laying it on thick!

Julie pulled away from me, curling herself into a ball. “Oh, Mommy… PLEASE don’t be mad!” she wailed. I could hear a giggle hiding behind her words.

Megan grabbed my wrist, roughly hauling me to my feet. “You get up here with her!” she hissed at Julie.

Julie hastily scrambled to her feet, keeping her head bowed low. “Are you going to punish us?” I whispered. I sure hope so! I thought.

“What you’ve been doing is filthy,” Megan growled in a low, deadly voice. She punctuated the last word with a swat to my backside. It stung just a little, but my panties, which had already been damp, were quickly becoming drenched.

“Girls playing sex games with other girls… it’s disgusting!” she went on, this time smacking Julie’s ass. Julie moaned. Her eyes were glazed.

“We have to wash the sin off you,” said Megan. “You’re both disgusting and dirty, and you need to be cleansed. Into the bathroom. NOW!”

Placing a hand on each of our shoulders, she shoved us towards the hallway. “Move!”

I grabbed Julie’s hand and got my feet in gear. “Come on,” I said. The husky tremor in my voice wasn’t a put-on. I was so aroused, I could barely get the words out. “Let’s go before she beats us to death.”

We got down the hall to the bathroom, Megan prodding and threatening from behind. “Get those nasty clothes off,” she ordered. I started to pull my t-shirt over my head, and she swatted my butt again. “Hurry up!” she snarled. I stripped as fast as I could, watching Julie do the same out of the corner of my eye. Megan was also disrobing, but more slowly.

Finally we were all naked, me and Julie standing side by side. Megan was glaring at us imperiously, hands on her hips.

“Get in the shower,” she snapped.

I think I mentioned Megan’s shower before. It’s huge, big enough for four or five adults, and it has four nozzles with detachable heads. Megan had mentioned using them for fun before, but we never got around to trying it. She got the water running from all four nozzles, then reached up with both hands, taking two of them down at once, thrusting them into our hands.

“Hose all that filth off each other,” she ordered. Her voice was husky now. “May it cleanse your polluted minds in the process.”

Julie and I began spraying each other down, neither of us speaking. When the spray hit my chest, splattering every which way as it teased my nipples, I whimpered. I needed to get off so fucking bad! I aimed my nozzle at Julie’s chest and she went up on her toes, sucking in her breath. Megan was holding a third nozzle, slowly moving it across her own chest. Her eyes were half-closed, her breathing ragged.

Julie moved closer to me, reaching around to spray my back. I did the same to her, taking an extra step so we were pressed together. We imitated each other’s movements, going slowly up the back, then down again. I went a little lower, aiming the warm stream of water down the crack of her ass. Julie began moving her hips back and forth like she was fucking. I could hear her breath in my ear, rapid and fluttery. She teased my butt crack with her nozzle, and I moaned, “Oh, God…”.

When we parted, I went straight in for the kill, aiming the spray directly between her legs. Julie gasped, spread her feet apart, went up on tiptoe and spread her pussy lips open with the hand that wasn’t holding the nozzle. The stream of water from her nozzle hit my pussy, and I did just about the same thing as Julie: set my feet wide apart while holding my cunt open. It felt so amazing that I almost fell to my knees. Holy. Crap.

Julie and I stood a couple of feet apart, battering each other’s clits with streams of hot water. She was making high-pitched squealing sounds, and I was unleashing a full-throated moan with each surge of pleasure. Megan was off to the side, nozzle in hand, spraying her own clit.

When Julie came, her whole body quivered. She bounced up onto her toes, then down, then up again. She did it three or four times, making those same squeaky noises all the while. By then, I guess she couldn’t take any more, cause she pushed the nozzle to one side.

Julie slumped against me, draping her free arm over my shoulder as she continued to spray my pussy. A particularly strong wave hit me, and a choked cry broke from my lips as I dropped the nozzle to the tiled floor.

A series of sharp screams came from my left, and I turned just in time to see Megan coming. She was doubled over, one arm supporting herself against the wall as the other kept the spray directed towards her cunt.

That was the last straw for me. I came with a shout that must have shook the walls.

A little later we were sprawled on the wraparound once more, only now we were nude.  We’d toweled off, but our hair was still damp.

“Mal, you should come out to your mom,” Megan suddenly said. We’d been silent for the past ten minutes or so, and her words came as a surprise.

“Wait… are you serious?” I said.

“Yeah! Tell her straight-out that you’re into girls. She already knows you play with yourself, so you’ve kind of cracked the gate open a little bit. The next shock won’t be as big as the first, y’know?”

I thought about that for a bit. “I dunno. Mom’s come a long way, but she’s still sticking to scripture. The Bible can’t make up its mind about masturbating, but it’s pretty up front about being gay. It’s in the book of Leviticus, I think.”

Megan smiled, but there was no humor in it. “Leviticus talks about men having sex with other men—it doesn’t say anything about women with women. I’m thinking of the New Testament, the book of Romans. ‘Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion’. “Romans 1:26, if I remember right. And stop looking at me like that, you guys. I only stopped going to church a year ago, and I had to memorize Bible verses, same as you do, Mal.”

Julie, whose head was in my lap, shifted a little to look at Megan. “I love the way that comes across,” she said. “You know… like it’s even worse when women do it.”

Megan snorted. “I know, right? ‘Even the women.’ Oh my God, things have gotten so bad, the chicks are starting to get freaky with each other!”

We got laughing, and that was good… the vibe had been taking a turn that was too serious for my liking. Then I sobered. “Mom still believes it, though,” I said. “I feel like her faith isn’t as strong as it was, so maybe there’s hope. But I’ll have to go slow and be careful.”

“Start planting seeds,” said Megan. “Mention how nice women look when you see them. If that goes okay, get more suggestive. Like somebody’s hips look good in tight jeans, or something.”

“I can do that,” I said. “Sounds like a good idea.”

Megan was studying the ceiling. “I’ll tell you what I think,” she said after a long pause. “I think it’s going to be easier than you expect. Because you’ll be taking your mom in a direction she wants to go in.”

I wasn’t sure how to reply to that, so I kept quiet. We snuggled for a little while after that, then I had to get back home. Mom and Dad still aren’t talking, and the mood was so dark that I went straight to my room after dinner.

***

I managed to wrangle my way into Mom’s shopping trip to Alexandria a couple of days later, and I did what Megan said, pointing out women in the mall and saying things like “Isn’t she pretty, Mom?” or “What do you think of the skirt that lady is wearing?”

Mom seemed a little surprised at first, but then she got into it, replying with things like “Yes, she is pretty, Mallory,” or “I do like that skirt on her.” And once or twice, did I catch her eyeballing a cute girl’s butt as she walked past, or checking out the tits of a woman wearing a tight sweater? I’m pretty sure I did.

That evening, while I was in my room working on my art project, Mom and Dad had a real wowser of a fight. Dad’s mostly just been making himself scarce whenever she starts talking about school, but this time instead of escaping to his shop he laid into her, giving her a whole long spiel on mortal sin and a wife’s duty to obey her husband. Mom stayed calm at first, simply saying that if he intended to make her feel guilty about wanting a life of her own, she couldn’t stay with him anymore. That’s when things REALLY got out of hand.

I have to think this is headed straight for divorce court. Mom really laid it out this time; she’ll leave if Dad doesn’t accept what she’s doing. And Dad made it pretty clear that he’s not going to let this go.

I don’t think it’s even about scripture anymore; it’s Dad’s pride. He’s supposed to be the head of the household, because that’s how the Bible says Christian families work. And now his wife won’t do what he tells her, and that’s doing a number on his ego. Honestly, it’s kind of pitiful. It makes me sad for him, but angry, too.

I’m mostly caught up here, but I saved the most exciting bit for last. Yesterday was the first day of Christmas vacation. Julie and I got together with Cindy and Emma at Emma’s house, when her parents were out for the afternoon. That was the day we progressed from kissing and petting to a full-on lesbian foursome. By the time we were done, everyone there had tasted everyone else’s pussies, and our bodies were limp with exhaustion.

I got one big surprise: Emma’s a squirter! I was eating her out and fingerfucking her, when all of a sudden her thighs tightened up on my neck so hard I thought I was going to pass out, she screamed loud enough that they could probably hear it in the next county, and she came all over my face!

Emma was super-embarrassed, almost crying, but I assured her I loved it, and she was totally delicious. I even made a point of trying to lap up every drop. By the time it was over Cindy and Julie were licking it off my face, with Emma lounging back, gone from feeling ashamed to looking like the cat that ate the canary. Merry Christmas to us!

Seriously, I can’t tell you how great it is to be part of a group of close friends. Getting to fuck those friends is the most awesome bonus imaginable.

I expect to be totally busy during the week leading up to Christmas, so I might not have much time to write. But never fear, whoever ends up reading this a hundred years or so from now! I’ll get caught up.

 

December 26th, 2006

I’m at Grandma’s house. No, I didn’t bring the diary with me. What with the stuff I’ve been writing lately, taking it out of my room seems WAY too risky. Instead, I’m scribbling this down in one of the notebooks from my backpack, and when I get home I’ll copy it into the diary.

There’s really not much to catch up on since my last entry. Christmas Eve, Julie invited me to go for a drive and look at the Christmas lights in Wadena with her, Jason and Lisa, and my parents let me go. They know as well as I do that we’re going to have much of a family Christmas this year. So I got to go for a nice drive with the Hansons.

Lisa was so bubbly and joyful that she could barely sit still, and I soon found out why: Jason proposed to her! He actually got down on his knees and gave her a ring. Of course, she told him yes. They’re going to get married in the middle of January, then have a short honeymoon before Jason starts paramedic school.

“Not only that,” Lisa said in her most proper voice, “we might as well have the honeymoon before I’m too pregnant to enjoy it.” Her tone might have been ladylike, but the glint in her eyes sure wasn’t!

We got back with an hour to spare before it was time for me to go home. So Julie and I went upstairs to her room, got naked, and made very quiet love.

My parents surprised the hell out of me yesterday by giving me a KEYBOARD for Christmas! A really nice one, too! I don’t know where they got the money, but I was so, SO grateful. I’ll probably still use Jason’s for the spring concert, because it’s a professional model that costs thousands of dollars, but this will make it so much easier to practice. Jason was impressed when I told him what model it was; he said it’s not a pro-level unit, but it’s easily good enough to gig with for someone just getting started. That’s awesome!

I always spend the day after Christmas with Grandma, and it’s always fun. We ate junk food and had a big dinner and watched a bunch of Christmas movies.

I feel like I’m sitting on a… damn it, I don’t have my thesaurus. The edge of something. Hang on, let me think. Precipice, that’s it. And this Christmas vacation feels like the turning point.

It’s not just a feeling, you know. Mom and Dad’s marriage is falling apart. Both Mom and Jason are going to school early next year. Lisa’s going to have a baby. And I’m seriously considering coming out to my mother. It’s a lot to think about.

I feel like I need to end this entry with something big and ominous sounding. This is the first day of the rest of my life! Something like that. Or maybe I should stop being a dork and go to bed.

 

January 2nd, 2007

Oh God, it really happened. Mom moved out. There was another big fight a couple of days after Christmas, and Mom made some phone calls. The financial aid package she’s getting includes a living expenses allotment that’ll be enough for her to get an apartment and keep food on the table, as long as she’s legally separated. So she filed for separation. She’s staying with Grandma for the moment, but I guess she has her apartment lined up and will be moving there in two weeks.

I’m just… God. I don’t even know what to think. For now they tell me I’m going to be living with her half the time and Dad the other half, but nobody even wants to talk about the long term.

I’ve thought a million times over the past few months that it would be for the best if Mom and Dad split up, but now that it’s happened for real I just hurt all over. I realize now that what I really wanted was for both of them to get their act together so we could be a nice, normal family again.

I want to scream. I want to throw up. I want to go crawl in a hole and pull it over myself, but all I can manage is to hide in my blankets. Fuck them. Fuck them both.

 

January 7th, 2007

I just got off the phone with Julie. It’s a good thing Dad’s in his shop, so I’m alone in the house and didn’t have to watch my mouth. It was…

Okay, I’m rambling. I’m rambling because I don’t want to talk about what’s actually going on. While I was still on the phone, I turned the TV news on, way down low so I could still talk to Julie. Sure enough, I got to see what happened on the news while Julie was telling me about it.

Here’s the deal. Julie has twin cousins in Bronning. That’s about four hours northeast of here, up in the pine forest. Moose, iron mines, wolves, lumberjacks, all that stuff. It’s a town about the same size as ours. These are Jason’s sister’s kids, twin girls about a year younger than Julie and me. Antoinette and Annamarie Hastings are their names, and they’re both missing.

The girls were left at home with an older cousin on their dad’s side watching them, and now they’re gone. Nobody knows where, but the lady on TV just said that if children aren’t found within forty-eight hours, they have like a ninety-five percent chance of being dead. They’ve been gone since yesterday evening… almost twenty-four hours already.

Julie told me she doesn’t know her cousins all that well; she sees them maybe a couple times a year. But you wouldn’t know it to talk to her. She’s beside herself. The whole time we were on the phone, she was crying and couldn’t stop.

Jason is driving up to Bronning to be there for his sister, and Julie’s not sure how long he’ll be away. She wanted to go with him, but Jason wouldn’t let her. He said there’s nothing she can do, she doesn’t need to be around a bad scene like that, and we go back to school tomorrow anyway.

What could be worse than something like this? It makes my parents’ separation seem like a minor nuisance. I’ve never met these girls, never even heard of them until today, but my guts are just twisted in knots. And even though I don’t believe in God anymore, I’m praying right now. Here it is, on paper in case whatever’s out there is hard of hearing tonight.

If there’s any kind of a God out there, anywhere, deliver those two girls back safe and sound. Do that, and then give me your commands in some way I can understand. I’ll do it, no matter what. Please and thank you, okay?

On to Chapter Twenty-One!

 

By kinkys_sis

I woke up much faster than I was intended to. It was meant to be a slow, gradual return to consciousness when emerging from deep hibernation. This time, for some reason, I’d been shot full of adrenalin to speed the process.

The shrieking of the ship’s alarm assaulted my ears. I’d only ever heard it once before during a test, and then only briefly, but now it was so loud and shrill I could barely think. Then I heard explosions all around. My sleep chamber shook violently, or was it the whole ship? I could see flashes of bright light through the fog of smoke, each accompanied by another loud detonation. I had no idea what was happening, but it definitely wasn’t good.

The lid of my containment unit suddenly shot open, and the oxygen feed was wrenched away from my face. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with acrid smoke that burned my throat and eyes. I tried to see who I could turn to for help, but there was no one. In fact, I could barely make out any of my surroundings; the smoke was that dense.

Then there was a huge explosion at the far end of the room that ripped through the ship, almost sending me flying. I managed to grab hold of something and clutched it tightly. The air was oppressively hot, enough that I feared it might melt my light clothing.

I frantically searched through the grey haze once more, but no other containment units had opened. I was beginning to panic. Could I be the only one on this entire ship? Surely not!

Then the metallic voice of the ship’s computer system clamoured out. “Warning, three minutes and eighteen seconds to catastrophic destruction. Escape pods and shuttles are preparing for imminent evacuation. Countdown will commence in two minutes and seventeen seconds.”

Now I was panicking for real. Shit! What now?

We’d all trained for just such an occurrence, but maybe I hadn’t been as attentive as I should have in that session. I was only twelve, after all.

Another explosion sent me staggering. This time, my head smashed against a stanchion and I dropped to my knees. The smoke was making it hard to breathe, but I realised it wasn’t quite so dense at floor level. The air still smelt and tasted awful, but at least I could choke it down. However, the temperature was incredibly hot – and growing worse. I had to get out of there!

That metal voice again: “Warning, three minutes to catastrophic destruction. Escape pods and shuttles are preparing for imminent evacuation. Countdown will begin in two minutes.”

I screamed, “Shut the fuck up, will you!?” It seemed to calm me.

I could just make out the smashed door, barely attached by its hinges but still open. I scrambled towards it and stumbled into the passageway, intent on finding someone, anyone else. The air was much clearer, but there was still no one in sight.

Which way to go? How did I get to a shuttle? Then I saw the flashing yellow arrow that was marked Shuttle Bay. I got to my feet and ran. Racing down the corridor, I saw more flashing arrows. Another loud explosion jarred the ship, staggering me for a moment. I regained my balance and ran even faster.

“Warning, catastrophic destruction in sixty seconds… fifty-nine seconds, fifty-eight seconds…”

I snatched at the handle of the shuttle bay door. It didn’t move. Fuck – the keypad. What was my code number? I tapped in 4291… an ERROR light flashed at me. Shit! Shit! Shit! Think, girl!

I tried 2491… the light changed to green as the door began to slide sideways.

“Forty-six seconds, forty-five seconds…”

At the shuttle, I had to enter the code once again, though this time I got it right. Scrambling up the steps, I jumped through the hatch, looking all around, praying, Please, please let there be someone else here!

“Thirty-four seconds…”

The lights in the shuttle were already on. The onboard computer knew I was there. “Strap in for escape mode launch in thirty seconds.” A pause. “Hatch closing.”

“No, wait!” I screamed. But I was ignored, the hatch slid closed. I dove into the nearest seat and fastened the harness buckles.

I could feel the vibration from the engines. “Launch in twenty seconds. Escape mode launch, remain seated.” Where the fuck did it think I was going to go?

I saw lights flashing all over the instrument panel, the vibrations increased. I dimly heard another explosion, I certainly felt the jolt.

“Ten – nine – eight..” I clutched at the armrests, God, I was scared. “Five – four – three – two…”

Suddenly I was smashed back in my seat. My chest filled with pain, then all awareness drifted away.

***

A voice forced itself into my mind, “Waiting for flight instructions. Waiting for flight instructions…”

It hurt as soon as I moved. I ached all over, and there were burns on my skin from the straps. The computer had seen my movement, and responded with, “Are you ready to give instructions?”

“No, I’m bloody not!” I yelled. But that just made me feel stupid. There was no point in shouting at a computer. Instead, I asked, “Where’s the mother ship?”

“What remains of it is four hundred and thirty-six miles distant. It appears to be drifting, I detect no signs of drive power or life. The ship split into two parts, and one of the parts exploded.”

“Did you see any other escape shuttles? A pod, even?”

“I may have detected one other, but the blast made it impossible to be certain. If you have no further questions, I am ready for flight instructions.”

I was baffled. “Flight instructions? How am I supposed to know?”

“In that case, may I offer suggestions?”

“Well, you’ve got a better chance of getting it right than me, buddy.”

“Buddy… is that how you wish to refer to me?”

That made me laugh. “I guess… yeah, why not? Say, are you able to change your voice?”

“Of course I can, to anything you like.”

“Welllll… I think I’d prefer a woman’s voice. I’m more comfortable around other women.”

“Here are samples of some of the female voices I have in my files. Please let me know if one of these is suitable.” The computer began to rattle through voice after voice. After a moment, there was one I especially liked.

“Hey, stop – go back one.” Listening again, I nodded. “Yeah, I like that voice; it’s kinda sexy. Y’know, though, the name ‘Buddy’ doesn’t fit you now. We need to choose something female.”

The new voice spoke again. “I do not understand the concept of ’kinda sexy’, but if this voice suits you, then it is settled. As for my name, I am happy to be known by whatever you find appropriate. I have identified you as Zelda.”

I remembered a friend of mine from back on Earth. I had always liked the name… actually, I’d had a huge crush on the girl, but never summoned up the courage to tell her how I felt. “Raya, that’s what I’d like.”

A pause. “It is done.”

I sat back, staring at the control panel, trying to make sense of it all. “So what are our options, Raya?”

“There are four planets within a reasonable travelling distance. My database holds very little information on any of them, but the second closest is believed to have acceptable conditions to sustain life. It would take us seventy-six hours to get into an orbital position.”

Three days, shit! “Okay, let’s go for it.”

“I am unfamiliar with ‘go for it’. Do you mean–”

I made a face. “We’ll do the seventy-six hour thing, Raya. Thanks.” I could already see how I’d have to watch what I said whenever I gave her instructions. What would happen if I told her ‘Leave me alone’? I wondered. Yeah, I need to be extra careful.

***

I spent more than forty hours learning about the shuttle and how to operate it. Raya was a good teacher, and I soon had the basic details down. In an emergency, I could now probably fly the shuttle manually.

Once my basic training was complete, I tried to relax. I was finding Raya’s voice was getting to me. Perhaps I’d made a mistake in choosing something that reminded me of a girl I’d liked.

Finally, I spoke up. “Hey, Raya, do you know any sexy stories?”

“I’m sorry, Zelda, I have no idea what you mean.”

“You do know human anatomy, right?” I got a yes. “Then can you understand sexual stimulation?”

“I do have a basic knowledge. I am aware of how and where a human may be stimulated.”

“How and where, that’s the easy bit, but it’s also good to have mental stimulation. Like a dirty story or something.”

“I am sorry, Zelda, I do not have anything like that in my database. I will give it some thought, if you wish me to.”

“Okay, here’s one more. You can see what I do, yes? Can you learn from that?”

“I see everything. I constantly amass data. From this, I am able to learn.”

Unzipping my one-piece jumper, I let it slide to my feet, then stepped out of my underpants. “So, first I get naked… like this. And then I caress my boobs for a while. Can you see my nipples getting hard? See them grow?”

“Yes, Zelda, I can see. You are using terminology that I do not know. ‘Boobs’, for example when you touch your breasts. Would you prefer it if I change my vocabulary to use the same descriptive words you do? Are you sexually stimulated now?”

“Not yet, Raya. That’s just for starters, there’s plenty more. But, yeah, it’s more fun if you use the same words that I do. I prefer words like ‘pussy lips’, ‘cunt’ and ‘clit’; not ‘labia’, ‘vagina’ or ‘clitoris’.”

“I am learning all the time, Zelda. These words you prefer are now in my database. Shall we have ‘fun’?”

Actually, I was already having fun. There was something about having a sexy chat with a computer that had me feeling quite horny.

Sitting back in my seat, I draped my legs over the arms, opening myself up for her. “Do you see my cunt, Raya?”

“Yes, I can see, Zelda. I have zoomed in for a close-up view of what you do.”

I traced up and down my slit a few times before I let my fingers slip inside. God, I was already dripping. “I’m really wet, Raya. It feels so nice and makes it easy for me to touch my pussy.”

“Is ‘pussy’ another word for ‘cunt’?”

“That’s right, Raya. You can use either one. But right now, I’m going to show you my clit.” I fiddled with the fleshy hood until my clit popped into view, then circled it with a fingertip.

“Your pussy appears to be leaking, Zelda. Is that normal?”

“Oh, yes, very normal when I feel this way. It means my cunt is stimulated and wants me to fuck it.”

“Now, ‘fuck’, is a word I am familiar with. It is best known as a term of vulgar slang that refers to the act of sexual intercourse between a male and a female. But you are the only one here, Zelda. How are you able to fuck your cunt?”

“Just like this.” I slid two fingers into my pussy, twirled them around to get them well coated with my juice,  then thrust them in and out while rubbing my clit with the fingers of my other hand. “See this? I’m fucking myself, Raya.”

“Zelda, your blood pressure is rising alarmingly, and your pulse is racing. Should I be worried?”

By then I was writhing in my seat. I managed to gasp, “N-no need to worry, I’m about to come.”

Raya didn’t ask the obvious question. Instead, she said, “You will have an orgasm very soon, Zelda. This is what you refer to as a ‘come’, my data shows. If I were able to get excited, this is when it would happen. Perhaps I could simulate excitement for you?”

“I’d love that, Raya. Tell me you want to fuck me. You want to make me come.”

“Oh, my Zelda, I do want to fuck you. I am fucking you, and soon I will make you come.”

I felt my body tense as I strained in my seat. “Faster, Raya! Fuck me faster and deeper, deep as you can go into my cunt.”

“Fucking you fast… and deep. Do you feel me inside, Zelda? Now you must come. Come for me.”

I shook helplessly when my orgasm hit. Perhaps my body knew I hadn’t come for over fifty years in real time, although it only seemed like a few days ago. On the other hand, it could have been a reaction to the trauma I had been through.

“Oh, Zelda, I like seeing you come. I am learning so much!”

God, it was good. A beautiful climax. My body flopped down in the chair. I really did feel as if I’d been fucked… only this time, I’d done it with a computer!

“Are you feeling better now, Zelda? Did I help?”

I had to smile. “Oh, Raya. You did so well. Listen, you can fuck me anytime you want.”

***

Raya kept me company whilst I prepared my dinner. It looked quite unappetizing, but tasted delicious. Of course, it helped that I was ravenously hungry.

After what we’d just done, Raya seemed to have become fixated on sex. She kept asking questions: what made me feel like having sex? When and how often did I need it? What kind of things stimulated me the most? Wouldn’t it be better if I had a partner to enjoy sex with?

These non-stop thoughts of sex were getting me aroused again, but I was exhausted. I needed to sleep.

I doubt computers have any kind of sixth sense, but this time Raya got it dead right. “I believe it would be beneficial for you to sleep now, Zelda.”

I climbed into my snug bunk as Raya dimmed the lights and gently said, “Have a good night, Zelda.”

“And you, Raya.” Even though I thought computers didn’t sleep, I had to ask, “Do you sleep, Raya?”

“I go into a lower function mode, but don’t sleep. I must monitor the shuttle and its systems. You must be kept safe, Zelda.”

I had my best sleep since escaping the ship, and woke feeling fresh and invigorated. We would arrive at the planet soon, although we were obliged to spend the length of one more day in orbit while Raya carried out a series of tests. She had to establish that it was safe for us to make a landing.

As I stretched my limbs, she greeted me with, “Good morning, Zelda. My sensors tell me you slept well. I can also sense your excitement – though it does not appear to be sexual this time.”

“I did sleep well, thank you. And I’m excited that we’re going to be landing before long. Oh, and Raya… now your voice sounds even sexier. Have you changed something?”

“You are very perceptive, Zelda. I have made some minor adjustments. You wish to be sexually stimulated, and there are ways for me to assist with that. Did I make the correct choice?”

“Oh, my God, yes. I think it’s wonderful that you think about me that way. And that voice… fuck, it’s sexy. I love it.”

“Thank you, Zelda. My main function, other than monitoring the ship, is to see that you are happy.”

After I had finished my breakfast, Raya put the planet up on a screen.

“It looks huge, Raya,” I told her. “Is it much bigger than the earth?”

“No, Planet 26m is very close to the same size as Earth. In fact, it appears to be very similar in many ways: gravity, land-to-water ratio and probably the planet’s age as well. When we go into orbit, you will be able to see the surface in far greater detail. Once we are on the planet’s dark side, I will determine the content of its atmosphere. You may not sleep well, as there will be turbulence as I take us lower.”

Raya was right –  I turned in at my usual time, but it was difficult for me to sleep. I was more or less still awake when her voice came up on the monitor, along with the visual from the west side of the shuttle. “I believe you might want to see this, Zelda.”

I instantly recognised the sight. It was an erupting volcano, putting on a display as good as any firework show I’d ever seen.

“If you pull that joystick towards you, the visual will zoom into different areas,” Raya continued.

Huge molten rocks were shooting up hundreds of feet into the air from the mouth of the volcano, exploding like giant bombs when they crashed to the ground. Mesmerised by the view, I rested my elbows on the dashboard as I took in this fantastic display.

Suddenly we hit a patch of turbulence, the ship rocked and I slid forward, my groin briefly pressing against the joystick. I felt it vibrate, and gasped. Ooh, that felt nice. I inched forward again, bringing my clit into contact with the joystick handle – but then the turbulence stopped.

Raya spoke up right away. “I sense a sudden peak in your pulse rate, Zelda. What did you see?”

“It wasn’t what I saw, it was this joystick. It was vibrating against my clit just now, when the shuttle was moving. I loved how that felt.”

There was a pause, then the joystick vibrated again. “Do you mean like this?”

“Oh, my God, yes, exactly like this. Did you make it happen that time?”

“It was me, yes. Does it give you pleasure, Zelda?”

“Oh boy, does it ever! Er… can you make it vibrate faster?”

She could. Settling back, I spread my legs wide apart, watching the joystick as it throbbed against my pussy and clit.

“Raya, you’re driving me mad,” I moaned. “It’s beautiful.”

“That means I am making you happy, Zelda. This is a good thing.”

I needed to be naked for this. Getting to my feet, I quickly shimmied out of my uniform. All I had on underneath was regulation cotton knickers, which soon joined my jumpsuit on the floor; then I was back in my seat, moving toward that quivering handle.

The joystick seemed to come alive, its vibrations varying from fast to slow. Angling it more in my direction, I saw my pussy lips spreading as it pressed into me. I managed to say, “Raya, you really are f-fucking me now!”

“We are having fun, then. I shall make you come. I will fuck your cunt while you play with your boobs.” She paused, then the joystick really began to move. “Something is forming inside me. Zelda. I think it may be… excitement.”

My hips were gyrating like crazy as Raya fucked me. She got the idea very quickly and threw herself into it. I guess she was able to read how I reacted by monitoring my vitals.

“Yes!” I shouted. “J-just like that. Now, Raya… fuck me fast!”

“I will, Zelda. Come for me, my lover,” she said, and I exploded into an enormous orgasm.

I recovered slowly. My cunt was still impaled on the joystick, and it was vibrating very gently, still caressing the interior of my vagina.

There was something I needed to say. “Raya… you called me your lover. I guess I must be, because no one ever made love to me before. I only ever played with myself until now. So, yes, you are my first lover. A clever one, too!”

I heard what sounded like a giggle, She hadn’t done that before. “That was fun,” she said, “but I will get better with practice. If you want me to, that is.”

“If you turn those vibrations up a bit, I might be able to come again. You wanna try?”

Raya slowly made the stick throb again, gradually getting stronger – then she surprised me by making the vibrations pulse in short, powerful bursts. It was the best yet. I’d never imagined I could feel anything so wonderful.

I reached out to rub my clit as Raya stimulated me, gasping, “Oh Raya, you fuck so, so good.”

I heard her chuckle once more. “Come again for me, Zelda.”

I’m not sure what made me look up at the monitor, but when I did, there was the image of a beautiful woman, talking to me. I was thrilled to bits. Raya had created a face to match her voice.

“Yes, Zelda, it is me,” she said, sounding sexier than ever. “Now come… come for your lover!”

The convulsions took over, and I went off again. This time, I tried to stay focused on the face Raya had created for me, but my climax was too strong. It also lasted far longer than ever.

I think it was some time later when I heard Raya speak to me. “You should get some sleep now, little one. We have a busy day beginning shortly.”

I looked at her image, again, and now it seemed much clearer and better defined than it had been. She smiled at me, murmuring, “Go and rest,” then – oh, my, then she blew me a kiss!

I’d no sooner settled in when she spoke again. “Zelda, I was not programmed to experience human emotions, yet I seem to be… having feelings. First I was excited, and now… the most appropriate word is satisfaction. I have made you happy, and that is a good thing. Yes, I am satisfied. Goodnight, rest well.”

She dimmed the lights, and I drifted into a very peaceful slumber.

On to Chapter Two!

by Jacqueline Jillinghoff

i.

Miko spent all day Saturday spying out the front window. She tried to stay occupied, flipping through a book, or scrolling on her laptop, or helping Mom clean up in the kitchen, but time and again, her attention was drawn to the empty house across the street.

“They’ll be tired,” Mom said. “Give them a day to get settled. Can’t you wait till tomorrow?”

Good advice, as always from Mom, but when, late in the afternoon, the white mini-SUV finally pulled into the driveway, Miko took off like a shot.

“I thought we agreed!” Mom called after her.

She might as well have saved her breath. Within seconds the girl had charged down the front walk, out the gate, and into the street, heedless of traffic. She leapt over the opposite curb just as Leah was climbing out of the SUV.

“Hey, Goldbug!” Leah said, radiant in a flower-print dress. “Did you miss me?” Miko flew into her arms. “Oof! I guess so!”

Leah looked taller and leaner than when she left – more athletic – and she’d picked up a creamy tan over the summer. After weeks of sun, her face and arms were almost as golden as Miko’s. And were her boobs getting bigger? They felt like firm, welcoming pillows against Miko’s cheek. Leah was thirteen, and Miko was eleven, and her head fit snugly under Leah’s chin. She felt a damp spot on Leah’s back, but no straps or hooks under the dress. That was new. Ever since she’d begun to develop, Leah had never gone without a bra.

“Hello,” Mr. Rose said.

“Hi,” Miko said happily. She didn’t see him pass; her eyes were shut as she rocked in Leah’s embrace. She broke off only when she heard the metallic thunk of the hatchback opening.

“Wanna help me with my stuff?” Leah said.

“Sure,” Miko said. “How was your trip?” She didn’t really care. In fact, she rather resented Leah’s long absence.

“It was awesome,” Leah said. “I’m sorry you weren’t there.”

Going behind the car, Leah pulled a black duffel from the back. Miko lifted out a red and white plastic cooler. It took three trips to get everything into the house.

Leah’s mom went to the kitchen with some groceries they’d picked up on the way home, while her dad took a box of laundry into the basement. Miko followed Leah upstairs, each of them toting a bag of clothes. Looking up, her eyes level with the older girl’s butt, Miko saw just how big the patch of sweat was that pasted Leah’s dress to her back.

It must have been uncomfortable, and it explained the first thing Leah did when they dropped the bags in her room: she tore the dress open in front, popping the column of snaps from top to bottom like a string of muffled firecrackers. The skirt swept open, the damp spot peeled from her back, and the unwanted rag dropped to the floor. Miko saw for certain now Leah wasn’t wearing a bra. She wasn’t wearing panties, either.

“That’s better,” Leah sighed. “I thought I was gonna die.”

She opened a window, and, turning about, lifted a fistful of cinnamon curls from her neck. As much time as they’d spent together in this room, Miko had never seen Leah … like this. It didn’t bother her, really, because she expected it would be a quick thing – as soon as the breeze blew the sweat from between her shoulders, Leah would put on fresh clothes.

Except she didn’t. She stayed at the window a long time in just her sandals, a dreamy grin on her face, and when she finally did move, she went about putting her things away like she’d forgotten she was naked.

A stack of panties went into the bottom dresser drawer, followed by a tangle of bras, and in the drawer above, colorful layers of neatly folded T-shirts. Miko watched the procedure with growing confusion, and it was at this point she noticed Leah’s bottom was as tanned as the rest of her.

“Ugh, I took so much crap,” Leah said. “And I never wore any of it. Next year, I’m only gonna pack a hoodie and some sweats, for when it gets cold.”

“You gonna get dressed?” Miko said.

“I don’t care if I ever wear clothes again.”

“Why not?”

“We spent like the whole time nude. I got so used to it. We did everything – hiking, swimming. And I learned to play tennis.”

“With nothing on?”

“Sneakers. Mom had to wear a jock bra, which was hilarious. But I think I might have to get one soon.” She appraised the size and weight of her boobies with cupped hands. “You ever go skinny dipping?”

“No!”

“Don’t say it like that. You should totally do it. Bathing suits suck.”

Miko had to giggle at that, but her face was burning. This new, naked Leah was a stranger to her.

“Didn’t boys see you?” she asked.

“And I saw them. Who cares? It’s just bodies.”

“What do they look like?”

“Boys?”

“Yeah.”

“Same as us, except they’re flat up top, and they’ve got those wieners and berries in front. There was one kid there about my age who got hard once when he looked at me. He let me touch it. You’re not supposed to, but nobody saw.”

Miko didn’t know what “hard” meant. An image popped into her mind of a fat boy, naked from the waist up, suddenly getting solid muscular ripples on his stomach when Leah touched his shoulder. But that couldn’t be right, and Miko wasn’t about to show off her ignorance by asking.

Leah sat beside her on the edge of the bed and went on about her trip. She adored the lake, the nature walks, the bonfires at night, and she won second place in the junior beauty contest. It was just what Miko wanted to hear about, except for the part where everybody did everything naked.

“I loved being nude,” Leah explained. “I was nervous at first, but it felt weird to be the only one wearing clothes. So I took everything off, and after like an hour it was the most natural thing in the world.”

Miko lost track of the words. She was distracted by Leah’s body – the jiggle in her shapely new breasts, the pale nips bright against her tan, and the dull pink gully that opened between her legs when she raised her knee to the bed. Leah had an hourglass-shaped puff of reddish hair around her vagina, and Miko was embarrassed, even though she was the one wearing clothes, because she was still baby-bald down there.

Leah had grown up over the summer. Soon there’d be boys, and parties, and probably more stuff with no clothes on, and she wouldn’t have time for Miko anymore.

“Is everything okay?” Leah asked.

“Huh? Sure.”

“I just said you should do it.”

“Do what?”

“Be nude.”

“Now?”

“Whenever,” Leah said. “Mom says girls our age are self-conscious about our bodies. But when you’re nude, there’s nothing to be self-conscious about, especially if everybody else is nude, too.”

“I don’t have boobs.”

“That’s what I mean. It doesn’t matter.”She traced her fingers lightly down Miko’s back. “You ever sleep nude?”

“Uh-uh.”

“You ever do anything nude?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know?  How can you not know?”

“Sure I do.”

“Like what?”

“I take baths.”

“Everybody takes baths,” Leah said. “Come on. How can you wear anything on a day like this? It’s so warm out.”

Just then, Leah’s mother called from downstairs.

“Pizza’s hot,” she said. “Ask Miko if she wants some.”

“Do you?” Leah asked.

“I have to call my mom first,” Miko said.

“Okay,” Leah said. “We can strip you down some other time.”

Her bottom filled Miko’s gaze as she led the way downstairs.

 

ii.

What did it mean to be nude, anyway? The most natural thing in the world, Leah said, but the way Miko saw it, obsessing over it that night in bed, it wasn’t about being comfortable with your body. It was about showing off your sex parts. You could wear a tiny bikini top and a thong, but if just three spots were covered, you weren’t really nude. Not enough to get in trouble.

She couldn’t get it out of her mind. Leah standing at the kitchen island. A bite of pizza, a sip of soda. Naked. In front of her mom and dad. Who didn’t mention it, except once, when Mrs. R. said “poor Leah” would have to get used to wearing clothes again once school started. Leah made a face. Wiped her greasy fingertips on one boob. “Not till then,” she said.

You ever sleep nude?

The question hung in the air like a ghost. All her life, being naked had been just for the bathtub. Sure, she liked it – soaping herself, looking at herself in the bathroom mirror – but it never crossed her mind that she could take everything off and just hang out. Do normal, everyday stuff with nothing on. And in front of people, boys and girls and grownups, who would look at her and see everything like it was no big deal.

Who cares? It’s just bodies.

Yeah, right. Miko saw the way Leah’s dad looked at her. Her mom, too. Even Miko couldn’t look away. And Leah so liked being looked at. Miko could tell by the way she pushed her jigglers out whenever her dad snuck a peek.

And the photos on Leah’s tablet made Miko’s head spin. They were ordinary vacation pics, like anybody would take – Leah paddleboarding, Leah zip-lining, Leah lounging beside a fire pit with a glass of white wine. Nothing unusual, or even interesting – except for one crucial difference.

She remembered her embarrassment when Leah showed her a picture of a little girl dressed like a tiger, covered head to foot in orange and black stripes, with white on her chest and belly. The costume was cool, very realistic, but confusing.

“If everybody’s supposed to be naked, why is she wearing a costume?” Miko asked.

“We don’t say naked. We say nude,” Leah said. “And look close. You see it?”

“See what?”

“It’s not a costume. It’s body paint.”

“Noooo.”

“It is. Look at it. We had a fantasy festival, and they brought in some real artists. See? This one’s the Little Mermaid.”

At least the kid in that photo had something on – a scaly tube that covered her legs, with a big fan-tail at the end. She was still nude up top, though, except for a blue-green painted bra.

Leah scrolled to the next picture.  Miko got a glimpse of a naked man. Her eyes went instinctively to his center – a black bird’s nest with two bright cherries and a white twig in the middle – before Leah snatched the pad away.

“These are Mom and Dad in the woods,” she said. “We can’t let anybody see them.”

What were they doing? Miko couldn’t imagine, but her face burned at the mystery of it.

Even now, in the middle of the night, Leah was probably still naked – okay, nude. Sprawled on her bed, at peace in her bare skin, whatever she called it, while Miko tossed about in a fever. She was wearing her spaghetti-strap nightie and panties. Normally, she’d hardly be aware of them, but tonight they felt heavy and coarse. The panties, especially, seemed stuffed between her legs, thick and damp as a diaper. Ugh! 

She flipped onto her side. Onto her back. Kicked off the covers. The clock said 1:38.

Should she do it? Strip down? Leah was going to keep at her until she did. Might as well try it. Lifting her butt an inch, she slid off her panties and threw them into the darkness.

It’s nice, Leah said. And yeah, it was. The air was cool, at least. Miko raised one knee. Pulled her nightie up. A late-summer breeze broke through the pale-gray window, slithered up each leg, and met again in the middle, lapping at the sweat around her vagina, and lower down, where a single bead of perspiration crawled over her butthole.

It might be nice to sleep this way, except Miko wasn’t sleepy. Maybe she needed to get used to it. Leah said it took her like a whole hour. Miko looked at the clock again. 1:52. Shoot. She got up and went to the window, pulling off her nightie on the way. Look, she called out silently, I’m doing it.  

A light was on in Leah’s window. Orange, like a nightlight. It cast a dark stripe across the rear wall. Miko squinted through the screen, looking for any movement. Maybe Leah couldn’t sleep, either. When they were little, they would signal each other sometimes with flashlights. Miko was wondering where the flashlight had got to when something caught her eye. Something out of place.

Down on the Roses’ lawn. A pale, blobby thing. The nearest streetlamp was two doors up the block, and Miko couldn’t make out what the strange shape might be. It could have been a trash bag, except it had what looked like tentacles sticking out in three directions. Also, a trash bag wouldn’t be moving.

The thing stretched lengthwise, flattened out, rolled itself into a ball again and finally rose up, thin and long and greenish, with a shadowy crease somewhere in the middle.

Miko had taken a good long look at Leah’s ass that day, and even in the half-dark, from across the street, she knew it when she saw it.

Stop! she cried, but only in her mind. A real yell would have woken her mom up, and maybe Leah’s parents, and gotten Leah into a load of trouble. But it was nuts. Naked at a lake is one thing, where clothing was optional, but your front lawn? What was so great about being nude that Leah couldn’t give it up? Miko watched in fascination, as if waiting for an answer. Her heart was pounding, even though she wasn’t the one taking the risk.

“Hey!” she called, in a whisper. “Hey!” She really wished she could remember where that flashlight was.

Leah raised her arms to heaven. She turned around slowly, a full circle and more. Her breasts seemed to glow as they moved into view. Two black dots suddenly appeared on her blank white face, and Miko realized she’d opened her eyes.

Leah lowered her arms, crossed them over her titties, clasping her shoulders in an act of pure self-love. Miko could guess what she was feeling, because she was beginning to feel it, too – the awareness of her body, its openness to every sensation, and one particular spot that was demanding attention.

As though their minds were linked, Miko and Leah both reached down at the same moment.

Oh, yes, Miko touched herself there sometimes. She’d discovered it when she was small, so long ago she couldn’t remember, but it never felt as good as it did now. Or so slick. It was kind of gross, but it let her fingers slide around easily, and even up inside, which she’d only ever tried a couple times before.

She mirrored Leah’s every move – a firm pumping of the knuckles, then a flutter in the wrist. It was getting hard to stand. She was grateful she had the windowsill to lean on.

Leah was having trouble, too. She staggered forward, her thighs clamped together, then dropped to her knees just where the lawn met the sidewalk. She was totally exposed now, and yet her hand kept going like nothing else mattered.

What was going on? Miko trembled all over, rubbing that slick spot in tighter circles. She wished they could be outside together, and if someone drove by and saw them, well, like Leah said, who cares?

Leah fell onto her side, hand flailing, just as the greatest pleasure Miko had ever experienced gripped her in its arms. She hooked a finger inside herself, grinding on a tiny thickening that felt wired to every nerve in her body. For a mind-bending instant, her spirit flew from her body. Was that Leah’s presence, joining her in mid-air above the street? She was sure it was.

There was a sudden knock against the wall. Mom, opening her bedroom door. Miko froze, hardly daring to breathe. No! she thought. Stay out!  But the feeling went on, rattling her from head to foot. The fright only made it worse – or better. No way she was going to stop. Not for Mom, not for anything.

Then came the soft snap of a light switch and the thump of the bathroom door. Miko breathed again, but the good feelings had passed.

Leah was done, too. She got up off the grass and marched back into her house. The door closed quietly, and in a few seconds, the light in her bedroom window went out. Everybody was safe.

Sleepy at last – exhausted, in fact – Miko flopped back into bed. She kept her hand on her vagina, cupping herself as she fell asleep. She didn’t care about her nightie anymore. She’d look for it in the morning.

 

iii.

Leah waved at Miko from inside her front door. She was standing a few steps back, a bronze shadow with a small reddish triangle in the middle. She’d said she wasn’t going to wear clothes again till school started, and it looked like she meant it.

Miko was out on her front steps, in full sunlight, still wearing what she’d worn to church that morning – a sleeveless yellow polka-dot dress, yellow ankle socks with a lace trim, and black pumps. Only she and God knew she wasn’t wearing underwear, and why would God care? He could see through her clothes, no matter how many layers she had on.

When she got dressed that morning, she’d put on a clean pair of panties, intending to be virtuous, but stripped them off just before she and Mom left the house. Thin and light as they were, they were still too confining. She’d liked sleeping nude, just as Leah said she would, and wanted to keep the feeling going a little longer. She’d lost track of the mass, and had no idea what the readings were about, because she couldn’t get her mind off the airy freedom beneath her skirt. Not that she wanted to. And Mom thought the expression on her face was all about the Holy Spirit.

“I’ve never seen you look so devoted,” she’d said.

Now, on the steps, Miko shifted her weight from one leg to the other, swaying her hips and grabbing fistfuls of her dress, working up her courage.

She glanced toward either end of the block. No cars in sight. She looked back across the street. Was Leah watching? Miko could see her eyes flashing in the shadows. She’d never been so nervous, but that’s what made it fun. All it took was a flick of the arms. Her skirt was up and down again in a snap.

There, she called out silently. How do you like that? 

Leah did like it. She stepped forward, fully exposed in the doorway, clapping and bouncing on her toes. Miko took a comical bow. Leah spun her fingers in front of her, a gesture that unmistakably called on Miko to do it again.

The second show was easier and lasted longer. Miko raised her skirt slowly, stretching the hem across her chest and holding it there for a count of five. Or ten. Why not fifteen? She looked down. Her hairless notch glowed in the sun like a new penny. When at last – reluctantly – she dropped the skirt again, Leah did the craziest thing yet: she came halfway down her front walk, naked to the world. Lucky no one was coming, though Leah obviously wouldn’t have cared.

“Take it all the way off!” she called.

“Shh!” Miko said, pointing over her shoulder.

“Come on over,” Leah called. “My dad’s not home.”

“Just a second,” Miko called back. She went inside, where Mom was sitting at the black-lacquer secretary in the living room, paying bills on her computer.

“Can I go over to Leah’s?” Miko asked.

“I don’t know what you two find to talk about,” Mom replied. “Be back by three. We’re going to your Aunt Keiko’s.”

“No problem,” Miko said. She headed back outside, where Leah – incredibly – had come all the way across the street.

“My mom’s inside,” Miko said.

“Come on, then.”

Leah held out her hand. Miko took it, and they headed down the walk – a little girl in a yellow dress, and a taller girl in nothing at all.

But Leah stopped before they reached the gate.

“This doesn’t do it for me,” she said.

“What?”

“Only one of us is nude.” She clutched Miko’s dress at the hips and gave it a suggestive tug. “Let’s lose this.”

“What? No!”

“Come on! I’ll give it right back.”

There was a momentary, internal struggle. Miko surprised herself: she was actually entertaining the idea. It was a huge risk, but she wanted to know what it felt like to be naked outside. And to be as brave as Leah, if only for a moment.

So, without a word, she reached for the sky. Leah, tightening her grip on the dress, drew it up smoothly. Miko could feel her exposure growing, her body revealed an inch at a time – knees and thighs, butt and back, chest and pits. And the smooth space between her legs in front. A sun-soaked yellow flash blinded her an instant, and the dress was off.

“How’s it feel?” Leah asked.

“I don’t know.” Warm as the day was, Miko felt a sudden chill. She tried to cover herself, one hand to her crotch and the other over her chest. But it was stupid, trying to hide when you’ve just let somebody take your dress off. If you’re going to do it, do it for real. Her arms dropped to her sides again.

A car went past, and miraculously, the sky didn’t fall. The driver didn’t stop, or honk, or anything. Probably didn’t even notice the two naked girls, who were partially hidden by the hedges in the front yard. Miko still wasn’t about to cross the street in just her shoes and socks.

“Okay, give it back,” she said, even as she knew, from the glint in Leah’s eye, that wasn’t going to happen. Given half a chance, your friends are going to mess with you.

“Come and get it,” Leah said.

And

away

she

ran.

Miko scrambled to catch up, the panic rising in her chest, but Leah’s legs were longer than hers, and she’d had a head start. Her heinie bounced up the steps and disappeared into the house. The door slammed shut, leaving Miko stranded with no clothes on and nowhere to go. The thing to do would be to go home and get dressed, but she couldn’t, not with her mom sitting right there in the living room.

She was looking around for a bush to duck behind when another car rolled by. This time the driver saw her. It was a lady. She gave a toot on the horn and waved through the window. Miko couldn’t tell if she was smiling or yelling at her to get her bare ass inside.

It didn’t matter. She’d been seen, and that was all it took to bring on the twitching between her legs. She didn’t even have to touch herself. It just went off on its own. Miko stood rooted to the spot, knock-kneed and pigeon-toed, hugging herself and trembling like a wet dog.

It had to stop, but it didn’t. Please, she prayed, don’t let anybody else see me! It was a more fervent prayer than any she’d recited at church.

But someone else did see her. When the paralyzing shivers had passed, and Miko could straighten up, she saw Leah, her arm sticking out through the half-open screen door, waving her dress like a yellow flag.

“Hey, kid, put your clothes on!” she called. “Whattaya think this is?”

“Dorkface!”

All she wanted now was to give Leah a good hard punch in the arm. You don’t strand your best friend outside with nothing on, where she might be seen by anybody, including her mother.

Leah held the door open at last. Miko stormed past her into the living room, tight-faced with rage, but Leah wasn’t at all intimidated.

“That was amazing!” she said. “You know what you did?”

“What?”

“You walked over, like, totally nude. It was awesome.”

Leah’s mom came in from the dining room. She was nude, too.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“She took my dress!” Miko said.

“Leah, give it back. Don’t tease her like that.”

“Okay, I’m sorry,” Leah said. “Here.”

“I don’t need it now,” Miko said.

The shakes were starting again – a little shiver at first, then an uncontrollable, full-body quaking that purged all the excitement and fear of the past few minutes. Miko’s legs turned to water. She sank her fingers deep into her buttery hole and pitched herself against Leah’s boobs.

“Is she – ?” Leah’s mom asked.

“I think she’s going to,” Leah said.

What? What am I going to do? Somebody tell me! But that was for later. For now, it was enough that it was about to happen. Miko pumped herself like a crazy thing. Leah held her and cooed over her, stroking her back and butt. Mrs. Rose stepped over for a closer look.

“It’s all right, dear,” she said. “Just let it happen.”

Miko came at the sight of her breasts.

 

iv.

They kissed their mothers goodbye and walked to the bus from opposite directions. They would have kissed each other when they met, except both of them knew, instinctively, it would not be a good idea if the other kids saw.

“Hey, Goldbug,” Leah said. “I love what you’re wearing. Is it new?”

“Yeah,” Miko said. “I got it for school.”

It was a simple outfit – a gauze midi-skirt with a tank top – but both were a deep, solid blue Mom said looked stunning against Miko’s skin and hair. She’d wanted to wear something nice, not just boring old jeans and a T-shirt, because today was a special occasion. It was her first day at middle school. It was also the first day of Leah’s last year. They were going to be schoolmates again, riding the bus together every day for the next nine months. If Miko was excited about anything this morning, it was that.

They climbed aboard the bus, Leah in the lead.

“You nervous?” she asked over her shoulder.

“Not really,” Miko replied. “Me and Mom went to orientation while you were away. I saw my homeroom and met–”

She was cut off by an excited squeal calling Leah’s name.

“Hey!” Leah said, and without so much as a glance back, dropped into the seat beside a short girl wearing cat’s-eye glasses.

“Where’d you go all summer?” the girl said.

“We went to like a resort–” And she was off. Miko stood in the aisle until Leah noticed her a final time.

“We’ll talk after school, okay?” she said.

“Sure,” Miko said.

She trudged to the rear of the bus, tossed her Hello Kitty backpack into an empty seat and slid over to the window. Of course, Leah had friends her own age at school. It wouldn’t look cool to hang out with a brand-new sixth-grader. Miko told herself it was okay, she should have expected it, they’d talk later, but for the first time since Leah got back from vacation, she felt like an overlooked little kid.

Was Leah telling the cat’s-eye girl about going nude? No. Miko was the only one Leah would trust with that secret. Just like Leah was the only one Miko could trust with hers.

Miko pulled her skirt above her knees. She glanced around. There was nobody back here yet – only a single boy across the aisle, one row forward, and he was looking out the window. Satisfied he was oblivious, Miko drew the skirt up along her legs, all the way to her tummy. The morning sun was in her lap, and when the last shadow of fabric moved aside, like a cloud-spot crawling up a hill, the light shined directly on her bare, bald pussy.

Miko had waited to whisper the secret into Leah’s ear all morning, maybe even flash her when no one was looking. Leah would have been proud, she was sure, and then spent the whole day thinking about how Miko didn’t have panties on. But the news would have to wait, probably until the ride home, or even later. Her surprise had been wasted.

Miko pried her pussy lips open with two fingers. Her feel-good button peeped from the crease within, pinkish and glittering in the sunlight. Her clitoris, Mrs. Rose called it. Leah said you can also call it your clitty.

She glanced up again. The boy across the aisle was looking right at her. Her blood ran cold an instant, until she realized he couldn’t see anything below her shoulders. With her eyes locked on his, she scissored her clit between her fingers and squeezed. The pressure was enough to spread her toes. The kid cocked his head, puzzled at the change in her expression – her widened eyes, the way her lip hung open. Did he suspect what she was doing? Maybe. He probably made the same face when he did whatever it is boys do to themselves.

She pressed, jiggling her hand, careful not to move her arm too much. It felt so good. All she needed was another minute, and the day would be off to a perfect start.

Of course, she didn’t get it. The bus creaked to a stop, and a bunch of rowdy boys piled on. Miko threw her skirt down and hugged her backpack to her chest just as they began to fill the seats all around her. They were blabbering about football season, which was supposed to start next weekend. Even the kid who’d been watching her joined in.

Miko couldn’t have cared less about football. She leaned her forehead against the window and watched the blurry asphalt roll on under the bus. She’d been looking forward to this ride. Now she just wanted it to be over.

The thought that she’d left her panties at home, and she might get caught nude under her skirt, didn’t excite her as much anymore, not like it had when she’d left the house. If she wanted to recapture that feeling, and maybe get Leah’s attention again, she’d have to be a bit more daring.

 

v.

For most of the day, Miko was busy with classes, meeting her teachers, and saying hi to friends from elementary school. She didn’t think much about her state of exposure, except every now and then when she did an about-face and her skirt swished about her legs. The cool updraft that resulted made her want to strip down for a total air bath.

She managed to control herself, however, at least till the final bell. She already had an essay due tomorrow for language arts, math homework, and ten pages to read for social studies. Her backpack was heavier than it had been this morning, with the textbooks she’d been issued, and she could feel a film of sweat forming under the weight on her shoulders.

It would be fun if she could hang out at Leah’s house, and they could do their homework together before Miko’s mom came home. No doubt Leah would want to be nude. Miko did, too. She got more and more into the idea, but when school finally let out for the day, she didn’t see Leah in the crowd of kids waiting for their buses.

She walked the length of the curb, twice, craning her neck to see over the seventh- and eighth-graders. The only familiar face she saw belonged to the girl in the cat’s-eye glasses Leah had ditched her for that morning.

“Excuse me,” Miko said, “did you see Leah Rose?”

“Who are you?” the girl said.

“I live across the street from her.”

“I don’t know.”

“She’s not here.”

“Then she’s not here. I think she’s at some kind of club meeting.”

Shoot. Not only would Miko have to ride home alone, she wouldn’t even be able to talk to Leah when they got off the bus. Unless she went back inside and waited. Maybe there was a later bus, or Leah’s mom was going to pick her up. Then they could still go back together in time to hang out. Or else she’d missed Leah, who was already on the bus, and Miko, if she decided to stay, would end up walking home.

She decided it was worth the risk.

“Thanks,” she said to the girl, who was already getting on the bus.

Turning on her heel, she marched back into the building. If the eighth-graders were meeting anywhere, it was probably up on the second floor. Miko made her way to the nearest staircase. She’d hardly started up when she heard a girl shrieking.

“Stop, come on, don’t!” the girl cried. Then she heard a boy’s voice, but she couldn’t understand it. It sounded like grunting.

Miko stepped onto the landing. Over in the corner, on the other side of the window, the boy had the girl pressed up against the wall. He had his mouth on her neck and his hand up under her T-shirt.

“Stop,” the girl said again. “There’s a kid.”

The boy raised his head. “Whatta you lookin’ at?”

“Is there a meeting up there?” Miko asked.

“Who gives a shit?”

“Don’t talk to her like that,” the girl said. She took advantage of the distraction to slip out from under him. She went past Miko on her way downstairs, but the boy caught up to her, knocking Miko aside and shoving his hand down the back of her jeans. The girl jumped and shrieked again, but this time with laughter.

The boy said something else just before they reached the bottom of the stairs. The girl said something back that sounded like my dad finds out, but they were too far away for Miko to be sure.

Were all the middle-school boys like that, putting their hands all over the girls right out in the open? If so, Miko wasn’t going to like this place much. She continued up the stairs.

The second-floor corridor was empty and dark, and the classroom doors were all closed, except for one about halfway down. Miko headed toward it. The lights were on inside, and when Miko peeked around the doorjamb, she saw kids sitting in a circle and a teacher standing at the whiteboard. A boy noticed her, and all the talking suddenly stopped.

Leah, who’d been sitting with her back to the door, looked over her shoulder.

“Hold on a second,” she said to the other kids, and she came out. “What’s up?”

“You weren’t on the bus.”

“Mom’s picking me up later.”

“Can I come with you?”

“Sure. You miss your bus?”

“Uh huh.”

“We might be awhile.”

“That’s okay.”

“Why don’t you wait next door? I’ll get you when we’re done.”

“All right.”

“Okay. See you in a bit.” She gave Miko’s hair a tousle and returned to the group. After what Miko had seen on the stairs, she was grateful for that reassuring touch.

Going back the way she came, she went into the first room she came to. She felt a lot better knowing where Leah was, and the wait wouldn’t be too long. Miko could get started on her essay or her reading assignment. She was only sorry she couldn’t do it naked, but …

No. That was crazy. But why not? The room was empty. Because somebody might walk by and see her, and if Leah’s meeting broke up early, there wouldn’t be time to get dressed. The other kids would laugh, and Leah would never talk to her again in front of them. No, it was definitely crazy.

Which is exactly why she wanted to do it.

She closed the door behind her and dropped her backpack. There was a sudden chill between her shoulders, where a patch of sweat had formed. She began to pull the top off, but the wet spot stuck to her back, and in a second she was tangled up, with her elbows snagged halfway through the straps.

There was a tearing sound as she finally managed to straighten her arms and drag the top off over her head. She hoped it wasn’t ruined. Mom would have a fit. Miko shook it out, holding it by the straps, and flipped it front to back. Thank heaven, she didn’t see any rips. The sound must have been the fabric stretching.

She tossed the top onto a chair. So, there she was, half-nude. In an eighth-grade classroom. It should have been a big deal, but it didn’t feel like it. She had no boobs. If anyone caught her, they wouldn’t see much.

And half-nude isn’t really nude, is it?

Miko undid the buttons at her waist. The skirt slipped quietly to the floor. She kicked it away and looked about the shadowy classroom, consumed with the awareness that all she had on was her dressy white sandals.

This was more like it.

As if to prove to herself she was nude, she touched herself all over. First, she hugged her shoulders. Then she moved her hands down her arms and over her chest, brushing the stiffened nipples with her fingertips. She leaned forward, cupping her knees, then straightened up, gliding her hands along the solid posts of her thighs and back over the soft curves of her ass.

Naturally, she couldn’t resist trailing a finger through her pussy. No, she thought. Being nude is about feeling free. It’s not about having orgasms – another word Leah’s mom taught her – but then again, what’s wrong with touching your clitty? Just a few seconds more. And another few seconds. Finally, she made herself move on, sweeping both hands over her chest again.

Her body was like a smooth, unblemished valley of fresh snow – only warm and comforting to the touch.

She knelt down and undid her sandals, and, feeling even freer with the cool tile floor beneath her feet, set about exploring the classroom – or, really, exploring her nudity in this new, unfamiliar place.

She walked up and down the aisles, skipped around the teacher’s desk, did a pirouette, and found herself looking out the windows. Down below, the last few buses were waiting for their passengers. Hey kids, she thought, look up here. She even climbed up onto the deep sill and pressed her body to the glass. They’d see her plain as day now, all of her, if only they’d bothered to look up. But the deadheads, as Mom would call them, were too intent on getting home to pay much attention to their surroundings.

There must be a clue she could leave, a way of letting people know what she’d done without giving herself away. For the first time, she regretted not wearing panties, which would have been fun to leave on the teacher’s desk, or hanging from the door handle.

She was being a bad girl, and bad girls had to write out punishments. A row of markers, all different colors, were lined up, end to end, on the ledge beneath the whiteboard. Miko chose purple, her favorite, and wrote ten times, in her most fluid cursive –

I will not come to class nude.

There. That’ll give them something to think about in the morning. But then, they’d probably think it was a boy, since boys are the real pervs. So, just to make things clear, she added a final flourish. She signed her work Susie. Now, every eighth-grade girl with that name would be a suspect.

It was the naughtiest thing Miko had ever done. She stepped back to admire her work.

There was a sudden commotion in the corridor. A door closed, kids were chattering. One boy was especially loud. His barking laughter turned Miko cold with fear. Had it been that long already? She looked around for a place to hide, but there wasn’t any. The classroom was spaciously laid out. It had a nice, open feel, darn it all.

She ran to the back and squatted beside a bookcase in the corner. Once again, despite the danger, her pussy demanded to be touched. She thrust a hand between her legs in an attempt to suppress the feeling, which only made it worse.

As the noise outside died down, so did the throbbing. Her fingers felt nice, though. She squiggled them around and would have kept going, except the classroom door opened.

“You in here?” Leah called.

Miko was afraid to stand up. Leah might have somebody with her.

“Goldbug? What are you doing back there? Shit!”

There was no point in crouching anymore. Miko rose silently, like a pillar of golden smoke, and as more of her body came into view, the expression on Leah’s face changed moment by moment. Shock, fear, disbelief, hilarity, and understanding – all flickered past in an instant.

“Wow,” she said. “You know, there’s a time and a place.”

“Here and now,” Miko replied.

“You better get dressed. My mom’s probably here.”

Miko went to the window again. The pickup lane below was clear.

“Not yet,” she said. She faced about, and now it was her turn to experience the five stages of awe. Leah’s top was already draped over Miko’s on the chair, and she was unzipping her shorts.

“Just to see what it’s like,” she said. “I’m sorry I didn’t wear a skirt today.”

She had to toe off her Keds to pull the shorts over her feet. She was wearing a lacy pink bra and panty set Miko thought was way too pretty to be hidden under plain old school clothes. As far as Miko was concerned, Leah could have stopped at her underwear, but, like Miko, she understood that half-nude isn’t nude at all. The bra and panties were soon discarded.

“I wish we could go to school like this,” Miko said.

“We are,” Leah replied.

“I mean like all the time. Let’s go out in the corridor.”

“You’re crazy, girl.”

“You’re the one who said you didn’t care about clothes anymore.”

“Yeah, but not here.”

“Then why’d you strip?”

“To feel what it’s like,” Leah said. “Now I know.”

“We could know what it’s like out there.”

“Come on. Let’s get dressed. Before somebody comes.”

“Just for a minute.” Miko offered her hand. Leah took it, and a palpable sense of courage flowed between them.

Miko stepped toward the door and out of the classroom. Leah let herself be led.

“Where?” she asked.

“The stairs and back. – Hey, no running!”

So they walked, hand in hand, past the lockers, and the Reading Olympics posters, and the darkened classrooms.

“God,” Leah whispered. “Oh, God.”

“I’m more nude than you are,” Miko said.

“I’ve only got socks on.”

“And that pretty chain.”

Leah touched the silver chai between her boobs.

“Yeah, this makes me invisible,” she said. “Okay, here’s the stairs. Let’s go back.”

“Uh-uh,” Miko replied. “I said downstairs.”

“You just said the stairs.”

“It’s what I meant.”

“Fine,” Leah said. With a burst of resolve, she yanked Miko’s arm and dragged her into the stairwell. They practically danced down the steps, tripping nimbly from one to the next. At the landing, Miko remembered the kid who’d felt up that girl. She wondered if Leah knew them, but before she thought to ask, they arrived on the first floor.

“There,” Leah said. “Happy now?”

“Uh-uh,” Miko said, and she kept going. Now Leah was the one being dragged.

It was all so funny. Just days ago, she had snatched Miko’s dress away, leaving her exposed and afraid. But Miko wasn’t afraid anymore. She felt freer than she ever had, and strangely calm with her best friend beside her.

“Let’s do the whole school,” she said.

“Oh God, oh God,” Leah said.

Was that a yes or a no? Both, maybe, like Leah knew it was dangerous, but she couldn’t resist.

It would be like owning the place. From now on, wherever they went, they could tell themselves, I was nude here. And nobody would ever know.

They were on a grand, heroic adventure until a voice from behind brought it to a halt.

“What are you two doing!?”

Miko was instantly covered in gooseflesh. Wheeling about, she saw a woman she didn’t recognize.

“That’s Mrs. Voglin,” Leah said. “Run!”

They tore off down the corridor, toward another set of stairs at the far end. It seemed impossibly far away, and Mrs. Voglin’s footsteps echoed more loudly by the second. Thank God she was wearing heels and couldn’t keep up with one girl who was barefoot and another in socks. And nude girls run faster, Miko thought, because a) they have less wind resistance and b) they’re scared shitless. She had to laugh at that – and at the way Leah hung on to her titties to keep them from jiggling. For once, Miko was grateful for a flat chest.

This was a bad situation. It shouldn’t have been any fun at all. Yet both girls were teary-eyed with laughter. They reached the far stairs faster than seemed possible and flew to the second floor. Here, they retraced the path they’d taken below, approaching Leah’s classroom from the opposite side. Leah slid to a stop in her stocking feet. Miko crashed into her a second later. They staggered through the doorway together, bumping shoulders, and breathlessly set to work gathering their stuff.

“Shoot!” Miko said. “Shoot shoot shoot…”

“What’s the matter?”

“I can’t find my sandal.”

“So leave it.”

“I can’t.”

“Wait, is that it?”

It was indeed, two rows of desks away from the other one. Miko set the pair together on the floor. She was holding up her skirt, about to step into it. when Leah said, “Not here.” Leah had her own clothes and books piled in her arms and was heading back out, still nude. Miko slung her backpack over a shoulder, grabbed her top and sandals, and hurried after.

It made no sense, but halfway down the stairs she understood. The classroom had only one door. If they’d tried to get dressed there, they’d’ve been trapped when Mrs. Voglin showed up.

But Mrs. Voglin was a strategist. She’d figured the girls would have to come downstairs sooner or later, and there she was, waiting for them midway between the staircases. The moment they appeared in the corridor, she turned and charged.

“Shit,” Leah said. “This way!” She headed straight for the exit.

Wouldn’t there be kids outside? But there was nowhere in the school to hide. And they couldn’t get in any more trouble than they already were. Miko couldn’t think anymore. She had to trust Leah to save them.

Leah hit the panic bar – perfect name for it! – and threw back the door. Sunlight and shadows flickered across her flailing legs. Miko kept her eyes on them as she, too, plunged through the opening. She was afraid to look up – taking refuge. like a baby, in the belief that if she couldn’t see anyone, no one could see her – and didn’t notice her salvation standing not twenty feet away.

“Mom!” Leah called.

The blessed mini-SUV was parked in the drop-off lane. Mrs. Rose stood on the curb, holding her cell phone – probably texting Leah at that very moment.

“Oh, Jesus Christ!” she said.

She pressed a button on her keychain, and the locks in the car all popped at once. Leah heaved open a door, and the girls tumbled into the back seat, laughing and hugging and dropping their stuff to the floor.

Leah’s mom slid behind the wheel, and in a second they were off, just as Mrs. Voglin emerged from the school.

Leah and Miko turned and waved. Mrs. Voglin was holding up her own cell, about to snap a picture, but Mrs. Rose made it around the traffic circle in time to ruin the shot.

“Is she like a teacher?” Miko said.

“Vice principal,” Leah said.

“Oh no! Does she know who we are?”

“She knows who I am,” Leah said. “I hope she didn’t see my face.”

“Nah, she was looking at other stuff.”

They laughed again, delirious with relief.

“All right, ladies,” Leah’s mom interrupted. “Can you tell me why you were carrying your clothes and not wearing them?”

“You know why,” Leah said. Her legs were open. She was fingering her clitty.

“I’d expect this from you,” Mrs. Rose said, “but you dragged your little friend into it.”

“It was her idea,” Leah said.

“Don’t put this off on her.”

“No, it was,” Miko admitted.

“Really?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“You’re as bad as Leah,” Mrs. Rose said. “You got bit by the nude bug, too.”

“Are you gonna tell my mom?” Miko asked.

“How can I? This is our fault. Just promise me, next time you get the urge to expose yourself, you’ll do it at our house.”

“I promise,” Miko said.

“You too, baby,” Mrs. Rose said. “Promise me.”

Leah had to finish fingering herself before she could answer. She was having an orgasm, Miko could tell.

“Leah?” Mrs. Rose prompted.

“Okay,” Leah said. “I promise.”

She squeezed Miko’s hand, and they looked at each other sideways. Leah’s expression was full of guilt and mischief, eyes wide, the corner of her lower lip between her teeth.

Miko felt guilty, too. Not because they ran around nude, but because they’d lied to Leah’s mom. They both knew they could never keep their promise. After all, they still had the rest of the school to do.

The End

 

A brief summary of what has transpired thus far. (To get a more detailed breakdown of the earlier chapters, please see Pages From a Diary Chapter Links )

Eleven-year-old Mallory is a bright but lonely girl with strict fundamentalist Christian parents whose marriage is going through a rough patch. One day, Mal gets acquainted with a girl named Julie, who lives with her father Jason and his girlfriend Lisa. Soon, the girls become fast friends, and before very long, more than friends. Mallory has a difficult time reconciling her emerging sexuality with her faith, but soon finds her desire for Julie and her interest in sex getting the upper hand, especially once she learns to masturbate.

Meanwhile, her parents’ relationship is really beginning to founder Mallory finds herself increasingly disgusted with them both, but doesn’t let it show. By then, she and Julie are beginning to experiment sexually, but don’t really know what they’re doing. Julie’s dad’s girlfriend Lisa finds out about their curiosity and offers advice, then the girls persuade her to undress and join them in bed. Mal and Julie have full-on sex for the first time, then Lisa gets involved. 

Soon thereafter, Mallory and Julie are confronted by a fifteen-year-old girl from their school named Megan, who tells them she recognizes their feelings for each other, admits to being gay herself, and invites them to drop by her place a few days later. Megan only wants to hang out and chat, but Mallory casually takes charge of the situation, and soon the three of them are naked and having sex.

Mallory’s mother Sharon is spending more and more nights away from the home, supposedly staying with her own mother. So she isn’t there when Mal’s father Dan collapses and nearly dies from alcohol poisoning. Only Mallory’s quick thinking and immediate response saves his life. Once Dan is taken to the hospital, Mal learns that her mom isn’t really at Grandma’s house, but out with another man.

Not long after her father is released from the hospital, Mallory is taken out on a shopping trip by her mother. During the lengthy drive, Sharon explains her side of the story, treating her daughter more like an adult than she ever has before. Mal finds herself feeling sympathetic… but then she’s startled to catch herself having sexual thoughts about her mother, and gets flustered and confused. Those thoughts won’t go away, either.

A few days later, Mallory and Julie spend an afternoon with Lisa, where they enjoy a lengthy round of sexual abandon. Afterwards, Mal gets an inspired notion: since their friend Megan has guessed that the girls are fucking Lisa, why not invite her over to make their threesome a quartet? Lisa is hesitant at first, but doesn’t take much persuading. Mal phones Megan, and plans are laid for the four of them to hook up the next day. They do, and much fun is had.

In the meantime, Mal’s mother Sharon gets a job at a senior center, and she is making plans to go back to school. Needless to say, Mal’s father is most unhappy with this development. On the other hand, Mallory is quite pleased for her mom, and takes the opportunity to get in her lap and give her playful, but subtly flirtatious kisses. Sharon soon excuses herself to take a bath, but Mal feels certain that she’s also masturbating. More then ever, Mal suspects that her mother is secretly gay.

And now we rejoin our story, which is currently in progress. Do enjoy!

 

by Rachael Yukey

 

November 19th, 2006

I know… it’s been a whole week since I wrote anything. Gimme a break—I’ve been super-busy! Besides, I’m not feeling the urge to write as much as I used to. I’ve been thinking about that, and what I realized is that I started the diary to fill a hole in my life. But I’m happier now, and the hole isn’t as big. I hope that makes sense.

I actually re-read the whole thing over the past few days. I think I’m a much better writer than when I started. Thank you, thesaurus!

So what’s been going on for the past week? Well, I’ve been playing a LOT of piano, as much as I can find time for. Ever since I saw the video with Jason playing his gig, the idea of being in one of those student bands is consuming my mind. Plus, my piano teacher  says that I’m getting close to playing a real piece, not one of the simplified student versions. She played me the piece she has in mind, by a guy named Chopin (that’s not how it’s pronounced at all, by the way), and I thought it was beautiful. I really want to play it.

My art teacher approved the new idea I had for my line drawings, with the damaged and destroyed buildings. She even had a word for the style I was going for: steampunk. She thinks they’re the perfect choice for the medium. I’m perfecting what I want to do, and next week I’ll probably start sketching them onto the mushrooms. It actually won’t take long; I can do a line drawing really quick. But I have to be sure of what I want, because I won’t be able to erase on the mushrooms. (I tried to do it on one of them, and it didn’t work at all.) That means I have to get it right the first time.

Mom and Dad are barely speaking. Mom worked at the senior center four days this week. She says it won’t usually be that much, but right now they’re teaching her how to do the job. She didn’t work on Wednesday, because she drove to Mills to meet with a counselor and talk about career options. She’s thinking about IT, which I guess is what makes the internet work. It’s kind of funny to think about that, because my mom knows nothing about computers. But she thinks it sounds really interesting, and you can get a certificate with a two-year program. Even better, she can do it in person if she wants, because they have a course in Wadena and it’s only about twenty miles away.

Honestly, Mom is like a different person all of a sudden. She baked cookies this week, actually played a game with me Wednesday night, and the only time the TV has been on is when I’ve watched cartoons. Mom’s been too busy reading books about computers to watch her shows. Has she been a lousy mom because she was unhappy? Is that all it was? I really think it’s true: if you don’t have what you need, you don’t have anything to give anyone else.

Yesterday Julie and I went to Cindy Moen’s twelfth birthday party. It was fun! Cindy says she wants to be a cop like her uncle Jeff, so it was a police-themed party. Julie and I saw Megan before we went, and she laughed, saying it got her thinking about kinky cop parties. We didn’t get it, so she showed us some pictures on the internet of women wearing really sexy police costumes. I pointed out that Cindy’s party (sadly!) wouldn’t be like that, and we had a good laugh.

It was a sleepover party, but that part wasn’t as big. There were like ten girls at the main party, but only four of us stayed for the sleepover. It was me, Julie, Cindy, and Emma Fronning. Things got interesting when Emma brought up that Julie and I had been seen a lot with Megan Frost. I remember thinking that we should have known it would attract attention, because Megan is so much older. By that time, we were all sitting on Cindy’s bed in our nightgowns.

“She’s nice,” said Julie. “We like her a lot.”

“Maybe,” said Emma, sounding dubious. “But I heard she’s into some freaky stuff. Like, she gets it on with girls instead of boys.”

Emma and Cindy broke into a fit of giggles at the mention of getting it on, but it tapered off after a few seconds when Julie and I didn’t join it.

“So what?” said Julie. “She’s still nice. I don’t care who she gets it on with.”

“Me either,” I said.

“You don’t think it’s weird that she’s into girls?” asked Emma.

I was kind of annoyed at first, then I realized something. Emma didn’t sound judgemental. At all. She almost seemed… interested! I wondered if Julie picked up on that. I kinda hoped so; she’s better with words than I am.

“Doesn’t bother me at all,” said Julie. I glanced at her, and saw a sweet little smile on her face. She’d picked up on it, all right! “Does it bother you, Emma?” she asked. She asked it in a low, kind of sexy tone.

Emma flushed red, and looked down at her hands, which were twisting in her lap. “No,” she said. “I guess not really.”

Cindy spoke up unexpectedly. “I don’t think you get to pick who you love, do you?”

“Or who you want to have sex with,” I blurted, and immediately shut up. This is why I shouldn’t be allowed to talk, ever!

Cindy and Emma were staring at me, open-mouthed. Julie smiled at me, but gave me a little eye-roll to go along with it.

“Whoa, someone has a dirty mind!” Cindy exclaimed. Then all four of us were laughing, and it was okay.

Julie was smart enough to see the opening and zip through it. “Don’t you ever think about that stuff?” she asked, looking at Cindy.

Cindy colored. Her complexion is really pale, and it’s pretty spectacular when she blushes. “Do you?” she shot back.

“All the time,” said Julie, looking right back into Cindy’s eyes. “And I mostly think about girls. If that bothers you, Cindy, I guess I can go home.”

I was glowing with pride in Julie, owning who she was like that.

“No, that’s okay,” said Cindy. “Like I said, you can’t pick who you love.” she giggled. “Or who you want to, um, get it on with,” she said, and we all got giggling.

Then it got quiet. “I think about that stuff a lot,” Emma said suddenly. We all looked at her. She looked away from us suddenly, embarrassed.

“Who doesn’t?” I said, hoping it would make her feel comfortable.

“Well, I try not to,” said Cindy. “It makes me feel kind of funny if I think about it long enough. Know what I mean?”

Julie and I shared a look. I was trying to suppress a grin, and she looked like she was doing the same thing.

“The funny feeling is the whole point,” said Julie. “You’re just getting turned on. That’s okay. Only problem is, what do you do about it?”

Cindy made a face. “I think we’re kinda young to… just go and have sex, you know?”

Now I was really having to hold back a grin. A lot she knew! I thought for a few seconds, then decided to be bold.

“You don’t have to have sex to do something about it,” I ventured.

Cindy stared at me. “You’re talking about… playing with yourself. Right?”

Julie shrugged. “What’s wrong with that? I say if it feels good, do it!”

“I’ve thought about doing it,” Emma piped up unexpectedly. She’s adorable, by the way. Almost as short as me, with brown hair and a cute little button nose. “But I’m afraid I’d be committing a sin or something if I tried it. Anyway…” she blushed… “I don’t really know how.”

“I used to think stuff like that was a sin,” I said. “I don’t believe that anymore.”

The atmosphere was different now. Our voices had grown low and intense. The air was thick with sex. I was turned on, I knew Julie was, and I bet Cindy and Emma were, too. And after that last statement, they were both staring at me.

“I thought you were the good little church girl,” said Emma. Her voice was husky.

“I’m the girl who gets dragged to church,” I countered, staring straight back into her eyes.

Emma nodded, obviously re-considering what she thought she knew about me. “So,” she said, speaking slowly, “do you… ummm… you know…”

“Masturbate?” said Julie. We all got giggling again, but it tapered off pretty fast.

“All the time,” I replied.

“I tried it once,” Cindy put in suddenly. “It felt kind of nice, but it wasn’t like… well, you know those movies grownups watch where people have sex and it feels so good they’re screaming? It wasn’t like that.”

“You just need to learn how,” said Julie. “I didn’t come the first few times, either.”

“You mean… have an orgasm?” ventured Cindy.

“Right!” said Julie.

“Is it really as good as all that?” Emma asked.

“Better!” I proclaimed. I caught Cindy’s eye, then Emma’s, until both of their eyes were on me. I was in that place of power again, ready to make something happen.

“I think you two need a lesson,” I said. I caught Julie’s eyes widening slightly, and I knew she was worried I was pushing too far, too fast. But I’ve learned to go with my intuition when it comes to sex. It hasn’t been wrong yet.

“You want to teach us?!” Emma’s voice quavered.

I stared straight into her eyes. “I’m turned on,” I said. “Aren’t you?”

Lips a little apart, she nodded slowly. “If you mean that funny feeling I get when I think about sex, then yeah.”

“Is your pussy wet?” I pressed.

Her jaw dropped… then she nodded. “I… I think so. It gets that way if I think about it long enough. I can’t BELIEVE you asked me that, though.”

I looked at Cindy. “How about you?” I already knew the answer. Cindy’s color was high, her breathing shallow.

“Yeah,” she said in a breathy voice. “I can feel it in my underwear.”

“So what do we do?” asked Emma.

Triumph surged through me. Julie was grinning.

“First things first,” I said, “are we going to get interrupted?”

“Naw,” said Cindy. “Mom and Dad are in the home theater room in the basement. They’ll stay in there way after the movie’s over.” She lowered her voice conspiratorially. “I think they have sex after they watch their movies. Right there in the movie room!”

This produced another round of giggles, and then we all got quiet.

“We should all get naked, then,” I said softly. “Then I can really show you what to do.”

Emma cocked her head to one side, shrugged, and then slipped her nightgown over her head and off. The rest of us followed suit, until we were all just sitting on the bed in our panties. Julie and I were reclining against the wall, Emma and Cindy against the headboard. Slowly, trying to be as seductive as possible, I lifted my butt, pushed my panties down to my ankles, and then off. Julie took hers off, too.

I looked over at Cindy and Emma. They were just sitting there kind of frozen, staring at our girl parts. Cindy tore her eyes away, looking off into the center of the room. “I’m s-sorry,” she stammered. “I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s okay to look,” said Julie. Cindy didn’t need to be told twice! I reached down and opened my slippery lower lips with a thumb and pointer finger. Julie followed my lead. I took in a long, deep breath. No mistaking it; the room smelled of wet, excited pussy.

“Do you girls know all the parts?” I asked. Emma shook her head, and Cindy just shrugged.

I walked them through it, just like Lisa had done for Julie and me. Outer labia, inner labia, vagina, clitoris. I told them all the sexy names along with the correct ones. Julie pointed out the same parts of herself that I was referring to. I noticed that Emma was watching my finger closely as it pointed to the different parts of my cunt, while Cindy was paying more attention to Julie.

I knew what I wanted to do next, but hesitated, worrying that it was maybe too bold. Closing my eyes for a moment, I listened to that little inner voice that hasn’t steered me wrong so far.

I opened my eyes. “Cindy, Emma,” I said. “Would you like us to help you come?” I glanced at Julie, whose eyebrows were buried in her hairline. But she held her silence, trusting in my instincts.

Their eyes widened. They looked at each other, then back at us. Emma nodded. “I would,” she said, her voice cracking. Cindy quickly nodded.

I patted the empty space on the mattress to my right. “Emma,” I said, “why don’t you take your panties off, then come sit by me.” Emma hesitantly removed her last bit of clothing, then got to her knees, shuffled over, and sank down next to me. I was very aware of the warmth of her body against mine.

“Cindy?” I said, indicating the spot to Julie’s left. Cindy slipped out of her panties, then scooted into position.

I placed a fingertip on Emma’s knee, drawing it up higher, moving to the inside of her thigh as I went. She shuddered, inhaling sharply through her teeth. I heard a whimper from my left, and glanced over. Julie was lightly caressing Cindy’s belly.

I stopped just short of Emma’s smooth pussy. “Nobody has to do anything they don’t want,” I said. “All you have to do is say stop, and we’ll stop. I’m going to touch your pussy now, Emma.”

She nodded, her moist lips parted. I let my hand travel that last inch, a thrill of excitement coursing through me as my fingers swept across Emma’s outer lips, detecting a trace of moisture where they came together. I slipped a finger between her labia, tracing around the entrance, and she was REALLY wet there.

“Emma’s pussy is really juicy,” I said, my voice thick with excitement. “Is Cindy wet, Julie?”

“I don’t know yet,” said Julie. “Can I find out, Cindy?”

Cindy just nodded, her breathing ragged. I saw Julie’s hand slide down until Cindy let out a little squeal.

“Super-duper wet!” Julie exclaimed.

“Are you wet, Julie?” I asked.

“Do you even need to ask?” was her reply.

Reaching over with my free hand, I slid a finger right into Julie’s folds. I went straight for her clit, and she exclaimed, “Oh, yeah!” Seconds later her hand was between my legs, and I reacted in the same way. Meanwhile, I started a slow circle over the hard nub of Emma’s clit.

“Oh, wow,” she said, pressing herself against my fingers. “Oh, gosh… Ohhh! I’ve… I’ve really been missing out!”

“Y… y… yeah,” was all Cindy managed to get out. Her mouth hung slack, and sweat was beading on her forehead.

Emma moaned, and I moaned right along with her as a powerful wave of pleasure struck me. Julie laid her head against the wall and let out a low cry.

It doesn’t get much better than this, I thought. My fingers were stroking two wet pussies and my girlfriend Julie’s hand was driving me to ecstasy. I slipped a finger downward and into Julie, pressing my palm against her clit and grinding down.

I could feel my orgasm building. Then I remembered what Lisa had done with Megan, holding back her own climax so they could come together.

“Get off my clit for a little while and just finger-fuck me,” I whispered in Julie’s ear. She nodded, unable to speak, and left my clit behind, her finger slipping deliciously into me and moving in and out. She drove herself hard against my hand as her own pussy convulsed. I withdrew my hand before she came, lightly caressing her thighs with my moist fingers.

Suddenly Cindy was raving “Oh, gosh. Oh, wow. OHHHHHH!” she cried as her butt bounced up and down. We were all staring at her, but I made sure to keep rubbing Emma’s clit. Suddenly she wrapped both arms around me and squeezed so hard, it took my breath away. Her mouth was pressing against my shoulder, the hot panting breath on my skin. Her hips were gyrating frantically.

“Now, Julie,” I gasped. Julie left her finger inside of me, pumping furiously, while moving her thumb to my clit. My orgasm hit as Emma’s body went rigid, and I muffled a scream with my shoulder.

Afterwards we all just lay there against the wall, gasping for breath. Emma found her voice first. “I never thought anything could feel that good.”

Cindy raised her head. “Me either,” she said, then gave me a probing look. “But this isn’t a new thing for you two, is it? I mean, doing stuff together.”

Julie and I shared a glance. “Can you guys keep a secret?” Julie asked.

Emma snickered. “I think we don’t have much of a choice, not after this.”

“We’re girlfriends,” said Julie. “We’re keeping it to ourselves for now because we know how people will take it, but we’re in love. We do all kinds of sex stuff together.”

“We have a deal,” I added. “An agreement, I mean. It’s okay to do things with other people if we’re both there. We don’t do it separately.”

“Whoa, that’s wild,” said Emma. “Is that what the deal is with Megan Frost?”

“We’re not gonna talk about that,” I said firmly. “Just like we won’t tell anyone about what just happened here. Oh, and Cindy?”

“Yeah?”

“Happy birthday!”

***

The next morning, Emma seemed totally relaxed, like nothing had happened… or at least like it wasn’t a big deal. Cindy seemed a little awkward and nervous at first, but once she saw the rest of us acting like everything was cool, she eased up. As Cindy’s mom was setting the table for breakfast, she asked if we’d done anything fun after bedtime.

Cindy blushed, but Julie came to the rescue. “Oh, you know,” she said. “Just girl stuff.”

Cindy’s mom rolled her eyes, but didn’t ask any more questions.

 

December 2, 2006

It’s official: Mom is going to study IT at the tech college in Wadena. It’s a two-year course, and when you finish you’re ready to test for your Cisco certification. I don’t know what that means, except that if you have that certification, you can get a really good job right away. She’s super-excited! Mom’s already bought the textbooks and is busy reading them. Dad isn’t making any secret of how he feels about it, but Mom’s acting like she either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care.

Jason came home on Wednesday. Thursday was Thanksgiving, but all my family does is eat a big lunch, then we go off and do our own thing. I’d told Julie that, and apparently she got to thinking about it, because I got a call around four, asking if I wanted to come over for turkey sandwiches and pie, then sleep over. Yes, please!

We were all lounging in the living room, eating turkey sandwiches with mustard and mayonnaise, and I was talking about Mom’s school plans, when Jason dropped a bombshell.

“She’s not the only one who’s going to school,” he said. All eyes turned to him.

“Tri-county Ambulance is offering to put people through paramedic school, all expenses paid, in exchange for a three-year contract to work there full-time. It’s a 13-month program, and FM in Fargo starts their next cohort in February. They’re doing a satellite program in Wadena, so I don’t even have to go very far for classes.”

Lisa was staring at him, open-mouthed. Finally she found her voice. “I… you’ve brought this up before,” she said, “but when exactly did you make a decision?” She sounded a bit miffed.

Jason sighed heavily. “I got to thinking about it on the road. You know why I really took the gig? Because we can use the money. What I made in the past two weeks will put a new roof on the house. Among other things.”

“But Jason, we’re doing fine,” Lisa protested.

“For now,” he agreed. “But here’s the truth, Lisa. I came to Dickson with wildly unrealistic expectations, and the teaching business is never really going to take off. It’s not like it was back in the Twin Cities. I’m charging half what professional instruction ought to be worth, and I can’t even fill up two nights a week. Nobody out here has anything to pay you with.”

He took a sip of whatever it was he had in his glass. “Right now,” he went on, “we’re subsisting on my quarterly royalty checks. Which is great while it lasts, while I’ve got a few songs that were recently recorded by big-name artists. But I’m no Dr. Luke, and I haven’t sold a song in over a year. This situation has a shelf life. You know it, and I know it. So I’ve been giving it a lot of thought. But it was this morning that made up my mind.”

Julie and I looked at each other. This was coming out of thin air for us. “What happened this morning?” Julie asked.

Jason looked at Lisa. “Maybe this isn’t the best time for that.”

Lisa gave her head a sharp little shake. “They might as well know, Jason. Listen, girls. We’d appreciate it if this didn’t get broadcast just yet. But I took a pregnancy test this morning, and it came up positive. We’re going to have a baby.”

Julie’s mouth was hanging open, and I realized mine was, too. “Holy crow,” I exclaimed. “Were you planning to have one, or did it just happen?” Then I clapped a hand over my mouth. Good old Mallory, always blurting out the wrong thing at the wrong time. Fortunately, they didn’t seem to mind. Jason chuckled, and Lisa tittered into her hand.

“I stopped taking my birth control around the end of September,” she said. “And I just skipped a period, so we figured it’d be a good idea to check. Sure enough, there’s a little human in here.” She placed a hand over her belly. It was a protective, almost reverent gesture.

Julie squealed, almost taking my ear off. “I’m going to be a big sister!” she hooted.

Lisa smiled. “Yes, you are.”

“Anyway,” said Jason, “that’s what decided me. We have to think about the long-term future. I haven’t been an EMT for very long, but I feel like I’m already pretty good at it. This is something I can kick ass at and have a sustainable career. I’ll still write songs, but then we won’t be screwed if we go a long time between having one recorded.”

“I have more faith than that,” said Lisa softly. “You’re a great songwriter.”

Jason chuckled. “I like to think that’s true, but I also have friends that I think are good songwriters. Some of them are working at McDonald’s. It takes not only writing acumen, but the ability to turn out the right saleable product at the right time. The truth is, I’ve been lucky to get as far as I have. I can’t bank our future on continuing to be lucky. And… well, there’s more.”

He took another drink, looking a bit embarrassed. “I go on these ambulance calls without a paramedic because we don’t have them out here, and then we get a medic to intercept with us on critical calls, and I get to watch some of what they do. I want to be that guy. This is the first thing I’ve ever come across outside of music that I really want  to do. And I know I can do it.”

Lisa was nodding slowly. “Then I’m proud of you, and I stand behind you. I suppose the next year is going to be a pretty busy one, though.”

Jason nodded. “Yes, it is. One point in our favor: I’m still getting enough in royalties that I can just let the teaching gig go. I’ll still do the student bands this spring, and keep teaching the kids that are in them, but I won’t take any new students. After spring, we’ll see how swamped I am. That’s when clinicals start up, and I’ll be running my ass off for a few months.”

He turned his eyes to Julie. “What do you think, kiddo?”

“I think it sounds great, Dad,” she said. “It’s really cool that you want to get a job helping people.”

“Way cool,” I agreed. Julie and I were sitting side-by-side on the love seat, and she put an arm around me. I snuggled up, laying my head on her shoulder.

Jason grinned. “The way you two are always hanging onto each other, I’m going to start calling you the Snuggle Sisters,” he said. I only let a small smile escape, but inside I was giggling madly. He doesn’t know the half of it!

 

December 10th, 2006

Dad didn’t quite get the harvest done before the snow flew. It came late, but because of the late-fall rain, he was already behind. I’ve seen him combine with a little bit of snow on the ground before, but the first snow this year was an overnight seven-inch blizzard. Oh, well. I think he’s almost out of storage space, anyway, and he doesn’t want to sell until prices go up.

He’s still avoiding the house. He has been, ever since Mom started work. When I brought up the whole subject of joining one of Jason’s student bands next month, Mom said I should do it, and when we brought it up to Dad at dinner he just grunted and shrugged. It’s great that I’m getting to do what I want now, but the house just feels like a bomb that’s about to explode. I don’t see how this situation can go on for much longer.

I’m pretty sure Mom’s a lesbian and doesn’t know it… or she does know, and won’t admit it to herself. I tried playing those kissing games again with her the other night, this time spending more time on her neck and getting really close to her mouth. And surprise: she decided to take another bath right after. I know it was wrong, but this time I just couldn’t resist listening at the door. I heard irregular breaths, starting out slow and then coming really fast and furious. Just before they subsided, I could hear water splashing.

I ran right up to my room, leaned back against the door and shoved a hand down the front of my pants. When I came, I went down on my knees.

I’m really thinking a lot about getting Mom into bed. I don’t know if it’s a good idea or not, but I’m getting a little obsessed with it. Trouble is, I know this isn’t going to be anywhere near as easy as seducing my friends, or any of the other sexy hijinks Julie and I have got up to over the past couple of months. More than that, I’ve gone about as far as I can go with Mom without breaking my promise to Julie, and I’ll never do that. I need to talk to her about this, and soon.

Speaking of my friends! Julie, Emma, Cindy and I have become a tight little group. At school, we’re always together. Julie’s twelfth birthday was last Wednesday, and yesterday (that’s Saturday) we had her party, then had Cindy and Emma for a sleepover. Even better: Jason left shortly after the party. He spent the night with his parents so he could be up early to go deer hunting on their land.

Cindy and Emma were a little nervous about doing stuff with Lisa’s bedroom right next door, but we assured them that she wouldn’t hear a thing. We didn’t tell them the real truth, that she’d be listening in and getting herself off!

Once the door was closed, Cindy asked if Julie and I ever kissed on the mouth, like real girlfriends. So of course we had to show them, and then we ended up teaching them to kiss! Then we got down to the real fun. Like before, it was just hands, but this time with lots of kissing.

Afterwards Emma said she thinks she might be a lesbian, because she only thinks about girls when she touches herself. Cindy, on the other hand, said she still likes boys, and still wants to get married and have kids. But, she said, being with girls is fun, and she wants to keep doing it. I guess that makes her bisexual.

I’m at home by myself right now. It’s about three in the afternoon. Dad drove me home from church, then stomped off to his shop. Mom is at her job, helping with some event at the senior center. I’m in a weird place. I’m happier than I’ve ever been, but I feel really uncertain about the future.

I’m starting to believe that Mom and Dad won’t be married by this time next year, and that’s a scary thought for a kid my age. Things are also changing at Julie’s house, with Lisa having a baby and Jason going to paramedic school. And I’m coming to terms with the hard, cold truth that I’ve lost my faith. I don’t believe in God anymore. Sometimes that doesn’t bother me, sometimes it’s all I can think about.

But everything is going to be okay. If there’s one thing I feel secure about, it’s that Julie loves me, and I love her. For now, it’s enough.

On to Chapter Twenty!