Connecting Flight

  • Posted on October 22, 2022 at 3:44 pm

by Karin Halle

A rare silence filled the airport. It was early morning, and there were few arrivals scheduled.

Adeline’s plane had arrived at dawn from overseas, and she had several hours to wait before she could hop on a transcontinental flight and head home. After five days away, the 29-year-old attendant was eager to sleep in her own bed.

One of the perks of her job was the right to fly free in the spare seat of the cockpit on any flight she chose. Another was access to the crew lounges at major airports, where pilots and attendants could relax between trips. The lounges even had a few roomettes where crew members could have a nap.

Heading for the lounge, wheeling her flight bag behind her, she had to pass several departure gates. All were deserted, except for one, where she noticed a young girl sitting alone. It was the gate for the same transcontinental flight that Adeline herself would be taking in a few hours.

The girl had a sports bag and a backpack at her feet. She held a Barbie doll in one hand, while in her other arm she cuddled an expensive-looking teddy bear. The girl appeared to be about thirteen, and she looked miserable – too old to be clinging to toys, yet too young to be sitting alone in a deserted departure terminal.

A couple of possibilities occurred to Adeline. The kid might be a runaway, or else homeless and hanging out in the airport.

She approached the girl, wondering what she would say. She decided to play it cool. 

“Hi, I’m Adeline. Are you waiting for a flight?”

It was a surprise to Adeline when the girl said, “Yeah.” The voice was flat, confirming the unhappy mood Adeline had sensed.

“But the next flight out of this gate isn’t for hours yet,” Adeline said.

“Yeah, I know.” The same flat tone again.

Now Adeline was growing concerned. A girl – a child, really – alone in an airport is in a vulnerable situation.

“What’s your name, honey?”

“Carolanne.”

“That’s a pretty name, Carolanne. Where are your parents, sweetie – are they around?” She looked about, but there were only a few airport staff in sight.

“No, they just dropped me off,” Carolanne said.

Concern turned to outright worry. “What in God’s name for?” Adeline said.

“They’re sending me to stay with my aunt for a while. They had this big fight, and they figured they might be able to sort out their problems if they didn’t have me around to worry about.”

 Adeline tried to contain her temper, without much success.

 “Shit! They can’t do that! They can’t just drop you off here and leave you!” She paused as she thought out the next step. “That’s neglect – endangerment even. It’ll be okay, sweetie. I’ll notify security and they’ll call the police.”

 For the first time, Carolanne seemed to come to life.

 “No! You can’t do that! You mustn’t. Please. I don’t mind going to Aunt Jessie’s – I really don’t.”

 Her outburst over, the girl slumped in her seat and began to sob.

 “Okay, I won’t call security – yet,” Adelaide assured her. “But you can’t stay here – it’s not safe. How old are you, anyway?”

 “Thirteen,” Carolanne muttered. “Almost fourteen.”

 A thought came to Adeline: the crew lounge. Strictly off limits for everybody but airline personnel, of course. But the place should be, like the airport itself, practically deserted at this early hour. The matter was resolved.

 “You come with me,” Adeline said. “I’ll take you somewhere safe where you can wait.”

 She grabbed the girl’s bag and backpack, awkwardly arranging them so that she could pull her own bag as well, and took the girl by the hand. Carolanne clutched her Barbie and her teddy bear.

 As expected, the crew lounge was deserted. That was good. Adeline could get written up for bringing in an unauthorised person. She asked Carolanne if she wanted anything to eat or drink, but the girl said no.

 “Come on, then,” she said and led the way to one of the roomettes. Apart from a shelf with a mirror and a light above it, the roomette contained only a bunk bed. No sooner had they sat down on it than the girl leaned against Adelaide, resting her head against the woman’s arm.

 “Are you tired, honey?”

 “Yeah. I couldn’t sleep because of the noise – you know, Mum and Dad fighting. And then we came here.”

 “Okay, baby, you lie down. I can sit on the floor.”

 “No,” Carolanne protested. “There’s plenty of room. I can squish over.” She demonstrated by turning on her side and pressing her back against the wall.

 For the first time since encountering Carolanne, Adeline smiled. She really hadn’t wanted to sit on the floor.

 And she couldn’t use a separate roomette – she didn’t dare leave Carolanne by herself, in case she was discovered. Her flight attendant’s uniform was already unkempt – she had been wearing it for thirteen hours on an airliner jam-packed with people who were constantly in need of something.

 She took off her jacket, blouse, and skirt and hung them on hooks on the wall. Her shoes joined their bags under the bunk. As she went to lie down, dressed only in her bra, slip, and pantyhose, Carolanne put a hand on her shoulder.

 “Thank you, Adeline, for looking after me,” the girl said.

 Something about the way she spoke stabbed Adeline in the heart. There was a plaintiveness in her tone, and an appreciation far deeper than conveyed by the words alone.

 Blushing slightly, Adeline said, “It’s my pleasure, sweetheart.”

 Carolanne rolled forward and placed a kiss on Adeline’s face. Whether intentionally or not, her lips touched Adeline’s. Startled by the display of affection, and disturbed by the pleasure it gave her, she looked into Carolanne’s eyes.

 “I love you,” the girl said.

 “That’s very sweet,” Adeline said, not believing for a second the girl could mean it. “Let’s try to get some sleep.” 

 “Will you touch me?”

 It took Adeline a moment to realise what Carolanne was asking.

 “Wait! What? No!” she stammered. “Why did you say that?”

 “I just need it. Please!”

 The words were a plea, reinforced by the longing in Carolanne’s eyes. She desperately needed some demonstration that she was lovable – and physical contact would be the most direct route.

 As if to prove she was serious, Carolanne took Adeline’s hand and placed it on her thigh. The hemline of her skirt, already short, had been pushed up when she wriggled around to make room on the bunk. There was no doubt where the adolescent wanted to be touched.

 Adeline wasn’t gay, and the kid was underage. What she was asking for was illegal – not to mention wrong. But her need was genuine and obvious, and Adeline couldn’t ignore the fact that she was becoming aroused as well.

 Adeline’s social life was meagre. Her busy schedule made relationships difficult to maintain, and her heavy workload was made even heavier because she volunteered for as many extra flights as the rules would allow. She loved the opportunity to travel abroad, and she certainly could use the money. The sooner she could pay off the mortgage on her home, the better.

 And after all, she told herself, it was her job to keep the passengers happy, whatever their needs were. She moved her hand to the front of the girl’s panties. They were already damp. The thin cotton clung to the girl’s vulva, and Adeline could feel every contour. She pressed the puffy flesh, particularly the top of the girl’s slit. There was the little button, and she could feel the girl tense when she bore down on it.

 She could also hear Carolanne’s breathing getting deeper. The kid was already coming!

 Adeline clamped her mouth over the teenager’s to muffle the noise that might give them away. The young body trembled against hers, and the girl’s panties grew even wetter.

 Carolanne was almost as quick to recover as she had been to climax. She looked into Adeline’s eyes, whispering “Thank you,” over and over as tears ran freely down her face. Perversely, Adeline was glad to have given the child so much pleasure. She looked furtively at her watch. By now there would be more people in the crew lounge. It was time to relocate.

 They arranged their clothes and hair, and then Adeline opened the door a crack to see if the coast was clear. There were three men at the far end of the main room, watching the early news on television, with their backs to the roomettes. None of them noticed as Adeline and Carolanne slipped across the room and out into the public corridor.

 They went to a women’s toilet to clean Carolanne up. Her panties were soaked, so she took them off, tossed them in a sanitary bin and took a fresh pair from her bag. Once again, she was ready to face the world.

 Adeline’s panties were not quite as soiled, but she was well aware that her pussy was swollen and wet. It was a matter that would just have to wait until later, she told herself.

 They returned to the departure lounge where they had first met, where passengers were now gathering for the transcontinental flight. Adeline and Carolanne sat off in a far corner to wait.

 Few words passed between them before they boarded their plane, and once through the hatch, they were separated. Off-duty crew deadheading a flight were not permitted in the passenger cabins, though a couple of times, Adeline headed back to use the toilet checking on her young friend as she passed.

 About half an hour before the plane was due to land, Adeline took the opportunity to sit down beside Carolanne. Barbie was lying on the snack tray, and Teddy was on the vacant seat.

 Adeline picked up the stuffed bear and held him as they chatted. After a few minutes, she asked Carolanne, innocently, if she was looking forward to seeing her aunt. The teenager’s reply left her, once again, stunned.

 “Oh, I’m not going,” she said casually.

 “Oh. Well, where are you going, then?” Adeline’s mind was in a spin.

 “I don’t know. I can work something out.”

 “Do you have friends you can stay with, or what?” Adeline persisted.

 “No. I really don’t have any friends. I’ve moved around too much to make friends. But I’ll work it out.”

 Scarcely able to believe what she was hearing, Adeline had to control her anger, as well as her voice.

 “No – you can’t just ‘work something out’. Don’t you understand how dangerous it is to have no place to go? Especially for a girl – and such a young girl.”

 Carolanne showed no reaction.

 “You could get into terrible trouble,” Adeline went on. “You could be assaulted, a little girl like you – you could end up raped, or dead.”

 To Adeline’s utter disbelief, Carolanne actually shrugged her shoulders. Adeline would have shaken her then, but she couldn’t risk drawing the attention of the on-duty staff.

 “You act as if you don’t care what happens to you!”

 “I don’t,” the girl said. “Not much anyway. I mean, nobody else cares. Why should I?”

 “You can’t expect other people to care about you if you don’t care about yourself,” Adeline said. “And I’m sure your parents and your aunt care about you. They wouldn’t want you to put you at risk.”

 Even as she spoke, she was aware of the irony – putting their child at risk was exactly what Carolanne’s parents had done when they carelessly and unceremoniously dumped her at the airport.

 Nor was the irony lost on Carolanne, who snorted derisively. “Shows how wrong you are,” she said. “They don’t care. That’s why they throw me around like a basketball.” She was unable to mask her bitterness. “They don’t care. Nobody does.”

 “That’s not true,” Adeline whispered harshly. “I care. Even if nobody else does – including you!” She glared fiercely at the girl, who now seemed even younger than she had before.

 “Thanks. Thanks for caring,” Carolanne mumbled. “At least that’s one person.”

 Now exasperated as well as furious, Adeline whispered as loudly as she dared, “Well, one is enough for now. You can stay with me while you ‘sort something out!’ How’s that – is that enough caring?”

 Now Carolanne showed a reaction – a big one. “You mean that?”

 It worried Adeline that the child seemed so genuinely incredulous that somebody would care enough about her to take her into her home.

  “Of course I do,” she said. “I’m your friend. And friends look out for each other, right?”

 “We’re friends?”

 “Sure. You remember the crew lounge … you can’t get much friendlier than that.”

 Carolanne considered the notion. “Friends? Really?” She wrapped her arm around Adeline and pulled her close, then planted a kiss on her cheek.

 “Best friends!” she announced.

 “Sure, sweetie. I have to get back to the cockpit now,” Adeline said. “Wait for me on the ramp outside the plane when we land, okay?”

 “Okay.”

 A tear trickled down Carolanne’s cheek. There was a light in her eyes, as well, and a glow in her face. Adeline gave her girl an uncertain smile, then hurried back to the jumpseat.

 ***

 Adeline’s home was in a rundown suburb not far from the airport. It was small, but at least it was hers. (Well, it belonged to her and the bank.) On the outside, it appeared rather shabby, but the inside was neat and comfortably furnished. Thanks mainly to an inheritance from her grandmother, she had been able to make a few modifications, expanding both the bedroom and the bathroom. To Adeline these were the most important rooms – after days away on long-haul international flights, she never felt truly clean and rested until she had showered and slept at home, luxuries that had come at the cost of the spare bedroom.

 Carolanne excitedly ran to the bathroom, taking in the large tub and the spacious shower stall.

 “Oh, wow!” she gasped in awe, before running to the bedroom. Dominating the space was a king-size bed. Carolanne dashed right to it, and, kicking off her shoes, jumped on the mattress like a trampoline. 

 “Oh wow!” she said again. “Now we can do what we did at the airport … and do it right!”

 Adeline was shaken by the words, but was even more disturbed when Carolanne pushed her skirt and panties down and kicked them off. Her jacket, shirt, bra followed in an instant.

 Naked, she stood at the centre of the bed, grinning smugly. “Well, what d’you think? Like what you see?”

 Not knowing what else to say, Adeline simply said what she thought – “My God, you’re gorgeous. Absolutely gorgeous!”

 The child beamed. “Now you strip!”

 While the present situation was anything but normal, for Adeline it was a perfectly usual thing to take off her uniform when she got home – the skirt and jacket went on a hook to be taken to the dry-cleaner; the shirt and hose were headed for the laundry hamper. Her shoes went under the bed.

 Those garments attended to, Adeline stood in her bra and panties, looking at Caroline. She became aware that she had no control over the situation. In fact, she had not been in control from the moment she sat on the bed in the crew lounge.

 The girl held out her hands in a beckoning gesture. Moving as if on autopilot, Adeline stepped forward. Carolanne reached around and unclipped Adeline’s bra. Adeline pushed down her panties, then stood up straight, allowing the girl to look.

 “You shave!” she chirped. “I’ve got more hair than you.” 

 Standing dumbly, Adeline looked at the girl’s lower abdomen. Indeed, the girl did have more hair on her pussy. It was a light brown, and not too thick. The top of the slit was still visible. Adeline continued to stand, waiting for whatever the girl decided was going to happen.

 Once again, Carolanne held out her hands, and Adeline took another step forward. The teenager flung her arms around Adeline’s neck, then leapt up and wrapped both legs around the woman’s body.

 Adeline imagined she could feel the little tuft of pubic hair tickling her belly. Or was that just wishful thinking?

 She knew now what was going to happen next. She also knew she was powerless to prevent it. Hugging Carolanne to her, she carried her to the side of the bed and gently set her down. Carolanne’s smile seemed to get even bigger, and bigger still when Adeline lay down beside her.

 She leaned over and kissed the girl, simultaneously laying a hand on one budding breast, rubbing the firm young flesh. Carolanne girl sighed into Adeline’s mouth, then squirmed as Adeline began tweaking her nipple.

 Not wanting to leave the other breast unattended, Adeline reached across and pinched it lightly, making Carolanne wriggle even more. Then, as Adeline’s hand began to slide down Carolanne’s body, the youngster broke the kiss and gasped.

 Reaching the navel, Adeline paused, dipped a manicured nail into the little recess and tickled. Carolanne made a squeak and tightened her belly. Adeline went on exploring, stopping again as she approached the patch of soft brown hair. Teasingly, she trapped a tight curl between her fingers and tugged. Carolanne whined in protest at the delay.

 Realising just how urgent the teenager’s needs had become, Adeline curled her hand over the girl’s mons and down her puffy lips. 

 “Oh, God, yes!” Carolanne sighed, spreading her legs wide and pushing her pelvis upward. Adeline slipped a finger between the lips, circling for a coating of the wetness that awaited her there.

 Satisfied her finger was sufficiently lubricated, she drew it upward through the tightness between the labia, to the point where they joined – there was the little button she had felt through those wet, discarded panties. Now she could feel the button itself, not just a bump beneath the textured cotton.

 Her slippery finger traced the path back down, playing at the entrance to the hole.

 Urgently. “No! You can’t! I’m …”

 Adeline smiled. “That’s fine, baby.”

 “Later, okay? You can do it later.”

 “When you’re ready, sweetheart. Whenever you’re ready.”

 Contentedly running her finger up and down along Carolanne’s labia, tickling her clit at the top of each stroke, Adeline put her lips to one of the erect nipples and sucked. Carolanne’s belly began to ripple, her thighs trembled, and with a strangled cry, she gasped, “I’m gonna come!”

 Adeline pressed the clit with her thumb, her other fingers draped across the entrance to Carolanne’s vagina. In the same way it had saturated the girl’s panties hours earlier, her pussy poured forth its juices into Adeline’s hand.

 This time, there was no quick recovery after the climax. The girl appeared to be thoroughly spent.

 “Your turn,” Carolanne said.

 Indulgently, Adeline replied, “Not just now, sweetie. Later, okay?”

 One of her big smiles spread across Carolanne’s face, then they both drifted off to sleep.

 Hours later, Adeline opened her eyes. The naked girl lying beside her looked so beautiful, and completely at peace. Somehow, she even managed to look innocent, despite having initiated two masturbation sessions with her adult lover in the few short hours since they had met.

 Teddy and Barbie were seated on the bedside table – like Adeline, they were watching Carolanne sleep.

 As if by instinct, Carolanne’s eyes fluttered open. She gazed questioningly at Adeline.

 “Jeez! Again? Really?” Adeline exclaimed.

 “It’s your fault, Adeline. You turn me on,” Carolanne giggled.

 “No, you’re just insatiable. You’re a nymphomaniac.”

 “Am not!” Entirely unaware of the irony, she promptly lay back and spread her legs, offering herself to be masturbated.

 To Carolanne’s surprise, Adeline rolled off the bed. Only when she came around and lay down between Carolanne’s legs did her intention become apparent.

 “Oh my God! Are you really going to – oh my God!”

 Looking at the young pussy in front of her, Adeline said, “I’ve never done this before. I’ve only had it done to me a couple of times, so I’m not sure if I’m any good at it. I hope I don’t do it all wrong.”

 Carolanne was too excited to reply. Only when Adeline began to blow on her aroused clit was she able to say anything, and that was only “Oh my God!” over and over.

 When Adeline’s tongue touched her pussy lips, she lost the ability to make words at all; her only sounds were moans.

 Adenine’s lips closed on Carolanne’s clit. She sucked it, then tickled it with her tongue. Without warning, Carolanne suddenly climaxed. She squealed, and her pussy let out another spurt of juice, which went straight onto Adeline’s mouth.

 The squealing ceased, the orgasm began to subside, and Carolanne started to sob, apparently uncontrollably.

 “Baby, what’s wrong?” Adeline said. 

 “I’m just so happy, Adeline. I love you. And I want to keep doing this forever!”

 Before she could think about it, the words were out: “Me too, sweetie. I love you and I want this too – always!”

 Carolanne sat up and put her arms around the woman’s neck and buried her face in her shoulder as she went on crying.

 Adeline waited for the outburst to pass. She was acutely aware that they both smelled of sex. She had Carolanne’s wetness all over her face, and her own juice was trickling from her pussy. She also felt grimy from hours of travel. Carolanne was sweaty, and had come on her as well.

 When the tears had stopped, Adeline said, “I think it’s time we have a shower.”

 Carolanne raised her head. “We? You mean, together?”

 “Yeah,” Adeline answered breezily, as if the suggestion was the most natural thing in the world.

 “Oh, my God!”

 Adeline scooped up the teenager in her arms and carried her to the bathroom.

 To Carolanne, it seemed like the height of luxury. The spacious shower stall had a bench in it to sit down on. The bathtub was almost deep enough to float in. The light fixtures included an exhaust fan and a heater. The towel rail also had a heating element. She was still gaping when Adeline arrived with fresh towels, soft and fluffy and large enough to lose a teenage girl in.

 They stepped under the shower head and Adeline got the water running, then held up her hand in a “stop” signal. Carolanne stood still, and Adeline washed her from head to toe. She paid particular attention to the girl’s belly and thighs, and the parts in between.

 “You’re all cruddy – you got come everywhere,” she teased.

 Before Carolanne could think of a smart-arse retort, she was told, “Bend over. Touch your toes.”

 When she had followed instructions, she felt a hand between her buttocks, running the length of her crack all the way to her pussy. She spread her feet further apart. The hand glided up her crack, this time stopping at her anus. A finger probed gently at the rosebud. Carolanne sighed, but the finger went away again as Adeline reached between the girl’s legs and stroked her pussy from behind.

 The unexpected approach made Carolanne weak in the knees – only the support of Adeline’s arm under her tits kept her from falling. Finally she slumped down on the seat, with her legs spread wide and Adeline crouched in front of her, lapping at her pussy.

 The tongue on her clit, the warm water running over her body, the memory of being fingered to an orgasm just a few minutes earlier – her senses could take no more.

 Carolanne passed out. 

 Adeline turned off the water and revived the little girl with a cold wash cloth. She towelled her dry, then carried her back to the bedroom and placed her on the bed. 

The child looked at Adeline thoughtfully. “Adeline … it’s later now,” she announced. “That means it’s time. I want you to take my cherry now. I want you to make me yours.” 

“You sure?” Adeline asked. Carolanne had been in control of their physical relationship since the moment they had met, and she seemed to know precisely what she wanted at all times. Even so, Adeline felt she needed to ask.

“Yeah, the girl said. “I’ve got nothing to give you except my love. I want you to have it – to show how much I love you.”

Doubtfully, Adeline asked, “Do you want me to … get you worked up again? You always get hot so fast. ”

“No.” The refusal was firm. “I want to feel it. If it hurts a little, that’s fine. If it hurts a lot, that’s okay too – I know it won’t last long.”

“But I really don’t want to hurt you,’ Adeline said quietly.

“If it does hurt, that won’t be because of you – it’s me.”

Accepting Carolanne’s decision as unshakeable, Adeline resumed her place between the pale thighs.

Carefully, she worked a finger between Carolanne’s labia once again. There was a little moisture at the entrance, but Adeline didn’t try to coat her finger with it. As gently as possible, she worked her way into Carolanne’s cunt, until she felt a slight resistance.

“Are you alright?” Adeline asked. She remembered her first time – it hadn’t hurt too much, but the whole episode had not been as pleasant as she had always dreamed it would be. “Take a deep breath.”

“Fuck me, Adeline!”

Adeline pushed her finger past the edge of the barrier and felt it yield. Carolanne winced and yelped.

Neither of them moved, allowing the girl time to grow accustomed to the new sensation.

“That wasn’t too bad,” Carolanne reported. “And it’ll be worth it. Move your finger around.”

Adeline did, but the finger chafed against the torn edges of the ruptured hymen, causing Carolanne to suck in a breath. Immediately Adeline stopped.

“No more for now, okay?” she said. “I think we should take a break.”

“Okay” said Carolanne meekly. As Adeline slipped out of her, Carolanne winced again.

Adeline inspected her finger. There was only a thin trace of blood.

 “Adeline,” Carolanne began in a little girl voice, purposely trying to sound immature. “You’ve made me come lots of times, but I haven’t given you one yet. It’s my turn to do you now.” 

A smile crossed Adeline’s face. “You are a nympho. If you’re not getting off, you want to get somebody else off.”

“I want to get you off,” Carolanne corrected her. The sincerity in the young voice was clear.

Obediently, Adeline lay back. As Carolanne knelt between her thighs, she told the girl, “I can’t give you my cherry – it’s way too late for that. But there’s a couple of things – do you know, for instance, that you’re the only other person who’s ever been in this bed?”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Further explanation was called for. “I haven’t been with anybody for a few years. Maybe I had to wait until I met you.”

Even as she spoke, the words sounded saccharine and soppy to her – but Carolanne apparently failed to notice. Her face radiated happiness.

“So you can take my gay virginity,” Adeline told her. “I guess I’m a lez-virgin or something, cause I’ve never done anything with a girl before.”

“I’m not a girl – I’m a woman now,” Carolanne stated. “And I’ve never done anything with anybody before.”

“I’m never going to do anything with anybody else again,” Adeline promised.

“And I’m never, ever going to do anything with anybody else,” Carolanne vowed solemnly. Without missing a beat, she said, “Do you really think that Barbie and Teddy should see this?”

Playing along, Adeline said, “They watched you lose your virginity. Why should they turn away now?”

Grinning hugely, Carolanne said, “So they won’t think I’m a nympho! I wouldn’t want them to think that!” 

The End 

 

20 Comments on Connecting Flight

  1. Karin Halle says:

    To Jacqueline Jillinghoff who edited this story for me, my sincerest appreciation. All writers benefit from the input of skilled editors, and Juicy Secrets has JJ and JetBoy who contribute so much to every story they work on. They deserve the thanks of both writers and readers alike for making these stories what they are.

    • Kim & Sue says:

      they do for sure. Thanks. +thank you, Karin. A very hot story and a little different for you, and not in a bad way.

      The hardship sadness was still there, but happily no one died and we really did get off to it. Great erotic writing, with a nice vignette of a story.

      bless all editors everywhere

  2. sarah london says:

    Excellent 👌🏿 story and I wish you publish interracial cuckold stories. Thanks, sarah london🫦

  3. chef73 says:

    Will there be more of this story?

  4. Captain Midnight says:

    What a great story!

  5. Erocritique says:

    .
    Con-Crit Feedback: It is jarring, (imho), when a story is absurdly fantastical. Case in point: Adeline going from straight vanilla muggle, to masturbating Carolanne in the crew lounge within minutes of meeting her. – It is farcical; which instantly diminishes the eroticism. – (Again, imho.) If that scene had been limited to comforting, cuddling , and connecting, the subsequent sexual events at Adeline’s house would have been relatively plausible. Alas, that was not the case. I honestly think you should rewrite that scene in the crew lounge imcorporating my suggestions . – I truly believe it would improve the story dramatically. – (Again, imho.)

    • kinkychic says:

      I’m afraid to say that I entirely agree and I thought that before Erocritique posted, I have been thinking about how to comment.

      For me, it’s like a part-written story. I found the beginning so poor and unrealistic that I stopped reading.

    • Aidanmoore24 says:

      I agree that with the idea that the first sex, came totally out of left field and the ending is not thought out very well in that our protagonist has basically kidnapped a minor child or am I missing something?

      • Subtleve says:

        Sorry, I have to say that any story like this has to be fantastical- e.g. based on a fantasy of how the world really works. No story involving adult and minor sex would be erotic if it were realistic. Are we supposed to follow the characters into their adulthood where they realize that they were molested and get therapy? This story was well written and had a very exciting premise. I would have liked it better if it had more visual description of their bodies, but that’s just me. Thoughtless comments like yours where people just complain about a story written for free by someone who has taken the time and effort to share it are just rude and unconstructive. You should be writing your own stories if you think you can do better, you know this site is hurting for original content.

        • kinkychic says:

          I don’t like to get into discussions on here. But as you’ve weighed in with an ill-thought-out and criticising answer – I will.

          I do write stories and they’re on here.

          Erocritique did offer constructive criticism, I happened to agree with him. There was no need to say more.

          The fact remains, the beginning of the story is all wrong. We have a good writer in Karin, I feel she could have done a bit more work here.

  6. Jake says:

    What the hell, people take the time to write a short story, flawed or not, the effort was made. I’d be surprised if Karin Halle ever Writes Anything again.
    We all would like to stories include specific details that satisfy our individual kink, sometimes they do.
    Tough crowd today!

  7. JetBoy says:

    Having worked with the author myself, I can attest that Karin Halle has been very receptive to constructive criticism, and has a keen interest in growing as a writer. Obviously, I’m not able to speak for Karin here… but to me, these less-than-enthused responses were all given with the best of intentions, and are appreciated.

  8. Allison Collier says:

    Wow, do I have a lot to say about this one (but moreso about the responses).

    I haven’t responded to anyone else’s writing on here, even after JetBoy posted that entry asking us to all please respond. What I wasn’t sure of was whether or not we’re really just supposed to enlist in cheerleading each other’s work. I certainly want to encourage every writer here to keep writing, and I certainly want to celebrate every piece of writing on this site. It’s just that I do see a recurring theme on Juicy where believable motivation gets kind of skipped over in favor of ‘getting to the good stuff’ too quickly, but I never thought it was really my place to say anything about it, especially considering I’m writing here, too.

    The responses to this piece in particular offer me a place to do that, so I’m gonna. In my imagination, I filled in all the blanks when I read ‘Connecting Flight.’ I kind of enjoy doing that, with all fiction, if the writer hasn’t done enough to fill in those blanks for me. I pretty quickly gave Adeline a deeper backstory that brought her all the motivation she required to throw herself so ridiculously into a situation where she has essentially abducted an eighth grader she knows nothing about and nearly instantly begun a sexual relationship with her, all without even knowing her last name. I won’t be dissecting this story in its entirety here, but what I can say is I believe the writer may have had some of this backstory concocted, or nebulously generalized or something, in the back of their head, but it didn’t get fully fleshed out. I liked the piece, but only with the motivation I added to both characters’ actions with my own imagination.

    It doesn’t work very well without filling in the motivational blanks, and some readers have commented on that or rated the story accordingly. Now, I’m the freaking queen of motivation. That’s why my stupid story ‘The Princess and the Ladies’ over at Ao3 is so godforsaken please-kill-me-now looooong. It’s taking me f***ing FOREVER to write it, but I do kinda think it makes it (scratch that–will eventually, many years from now, make it) worthwhile. It’s also the reason I chose to have my lone story on Juicy, ‘Sisters Do What Sisters Do,’ start smack in the middle of an already established relationship between an adult and a child–I could spend some time hinting at how they came to do what they do instead of building the ‘origin story.’

    Here’s where I’ll include my retort to Subtleve, who I think gets everything wrong about this kind of erotic fiction: yes, the idea of an adult having a sexual relationship with a child, or a child having a highly sexual relationship with another child, IS SUPER fantastical, but we come here for that fantasy, and we want it to pay the hell off, because (I’d like to think) we are all absolutely disgusted by evidence of the real thing. In order for that COMPLETE fantasy to work for us, the part I feel that we have to get as right as possible is the psychological realism. The proper motivation is all about that psychological realism–if you don’t spend much time thinking about what’s driving people to make the decisions they do that leads them to conduct these extremely taboo, ethically fairly abhorrent relationships, it reads to me like a bunch of adult characters simply roleplaying, which kills the fantasy. It’s even harder to give the children in these stories psychological realism. Kids are complicated, and we writers aren’t kids anymore, so that’s really tough to pull off!

    Subtleve: so actually, in my one piece on here, I DID have the characters going to therapy eventually lol. When I sketched out the rest of the story of ‘Sisters’ after my first draft, I planned a further four pieces: one for the very first day they began their affair, one for a little while after Sisters when they’re really into some hardcore stuff, one for an event when the little girl Emily is an older teenager and their relationship has gotten extremely complicated by Emily’s first boyfriend and we can see that she is really pretty damaged, and one for when they are both much, much older, Emily has gone through A LOT of things dealing with what happened to her (divorce, depression), and her life still involves this relationship with her sister to the detriment of everything else in her life. I went there, and it got tragic and sad! But it probably wouldn’t play as fun on here, so I’m not going to write those later parts, because most of us are here for fun. What I mean to say by describing all this is that I think that piece has some success because in the psychological universe I tried to construct for those two girls, I think readers could possibly see all those tragic events unfolding, and it wouldn’t take away from how hot it is that they do what they do.

    I think that in this niche genre, if you strive for psychological realism underpinning the actions of the characters, if you really try to genuinely do that, these fantasies can come to life for us in the most brilliant colors and smells and textures, and that’s what we’re here for. In that way, I believe deep down that this genre is the greatest, hottest, most thrilling kind of writing I want to do and want to read.

    If we do offer constructive criticism on here, I can see that this decision affects some readers in a way that makes them defensive. The main theme I’m seeing here is ‘Don’t scare the authors away! Tell them everything was great! Please don’t stop people from writing more of these stories!’ I get that! I totally get that. There aren’t a lot of us, writers or readers, delving into the genre of underage erotica, especially on this lovely site, and nobody wants that number to diminish further. You’re right that we need to encourage each other in this secret little place we’ve found, but in my opinion encouragement can and should include constructive criticism. I’m going to step on Mme. Jillinghoff’s toes here a little bit, acknowledging however that I do not know the condition of this story when it was submitted: if I had edited this story, I think I would have picked a few key spots, usually right before the fun was about to begin (in the roomette and in the apartment), and worked with the author to come up with just a little bit more motivation for what they were about to do. It’s hard to strike the right thing when you don’t have a novel to do it with, but it can be done. I’m not going to suggest what that motivation should be, or that at first there should be more cuddling instead of sex (hey, maybe they DO just jump right into it, and that could work!).

    The constructive criticism above sums it up pretty well here: between the characters entering the roomette and the characters laying on the floor next to each other, Adeline in her underwear about to touch some nearly anonymous thirteen-year-old sexually per request, it felt like someone had deleted at least a paragraph or two. It felt like something was missing. I think I know what could have gone there if I had written it, so I filled in that blank for myself, but I would encourage the author to come up with it themselves.

    I don’t think there’s any harm in pointing that out and perhaps at the same time saying: ‘Thank you so much for spending all this time writing this story that could in theory get you all kinds of hate and abuse in real life, just so sixty or seventy people you’ll never ever meet could consume it inside of twenty minutes and have a little private fun with themselves–that’s really generous, and we love you for it.’

    So, thanks Karin! I enjoyed what I could! I think I saw where you were going with Adeline, and I really liked her a lot. I’d love to talk to you if you ever want to, my contact info is on here, or you can catch me on the Literotica boards at MissAllison.

    My love to all of you, readers and writers,
    Allison C

  9. Allison Collier says:

    In hindsight, I’d like to clarify something from my comment: Jillinghoff was identified as the editor, so I said what I might do if I had been in her shoes. That could be misconstrued as a personal attack on her. What I meant was if I had been the editor of the story, and Karin had taken my advice. I of course have no way of knowing whether or not JJ suggested anything there, and I was wrong to appear to assume anything about their interactions and her editing specifically. I’d just like that to be quite clear.

    • Jacqueline Jillinghoff says:

      Your condescension is truly comforting.

      • JetBoy says:

        I think you might have misread Allison’s tone here, JJ. Having worked with her extensively on “Sisters Do What Sisters Do,” and come to know her in the process, I can assure you that her apology is a sincere one.

  10. Karin Halle says:

    I appreciate the responses of all readers, even those who gave negative feedback provided that they either give reasons for the feedback, or else simply say “I didn’t like this story.”

    If there are criticisms of anything I write, I feel sure they are genuine and made with good intentions. As such, I attempt to incorporate such feedback into my current writing.

    At the end of the day, not everything is always going to appeal to everybody.

    • kinkychic says:

      I would never mean any disrespect to someone I consider a good writer.

      If I criticise it is only with the best of intentions.

      Subtleve and Jake completely miss the point.

  11. JetBoy says:

    Okay, everyone, GROUP HUG!

    (Is unlimited comment space necessarily a good thing? Opinions vary.) 😉

  12. Kelly says:

    I don’t recall another story getting such response. One reason I like this site is besides the taboo attraction, the foundation of all these stories is love, and the love given by the readers that such a site can still exist in these times. I hope that continues and we don’t spiral down into what social media has become. I applaud Karin for her eloquent response. This story along with Karins others, is about people needing a connection to one another and finding it. That is simply my opinion as one who reads stories not just for the sex in them. We all are here for our own reasons, and we all read these stories from our own unique perspective. Same as where the authors write from. I encourage readers to try and write a story. It will add a layer of appreciation for those who provide us this entertainment.

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