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Revolutionettes, Chapter 1
By Amanda
Author’s Note:
Many terms used in this story are believed to be historically accurate though most of those terms are today considered racist, sexist, or homophobic. Phrasing and terminology of the time makes for a difficult read so I chose to use somewhat formal but more contemporary language for readability. It should be understood that the characters in the story would have, if they’d been real, been considered extreme liberals.
Accounts of events are believed to be plausible, however unlikely, though not true. There were, however, as early as the turn of the 19th century, cafes and salons in Paris which catered to lesbians. Historical information may or may not be entirely accurate but the treatment of homosexuality in the places mentioned is believed to be mostly accurate according to my research. Historical information about lesbians is virtually nonexistent. Terms like Boston Marriage had not been coined though accounts of romantic friendships between “dedicated spinsters” appear as early as the 18th century. This story is entirely made up and the characters are not even based loosely on any historical figure. But with that in mind, I recommend reading about post revolutionary war America and post French revolution France. There was a sexual revolution during that time in the U.S. unlike anything before or since. I’m glad I wrote this story for all the information I learned researching it.
1790 – Harrisburg Pa.
I am not a special woman I do not think. Or perhaps in my years and my experiences I am. I have lived a most uncommon life indeed. Some women might envy me, others would hate me for I have rejected the traditions of womanhood and opted instead to follow my own star, to live as I would want to. I have oft taken privilege where none was offered, and much of the time have taken what I wanted, without asking and without shame.
In my youth I must say I was quite naive. When I was very young, too young even to remember, I was orphaned in a fire. My mother died in the flames and my father gave his life to get me out of the house. I was three and a constable took pity on me. He took me to a house for girls, rather than an orphanage, run by two very good nuns. They were loving and virtuous women and bestowed such virtue and morality on us. I was raised there and as far as I ever knew, it was my only home.
The nuns taught us skills for the practical world. Sewing, cooking, mending. Everything a wife and mother would need to keep her home. However they insisted that a woman must also understand such things as mathematics and must certainly be able to read. Thus they educated us in many things.
It was when I was sixteen that I left them, going to work as a servant in a Mister William Baker’s home. He was a kind man, unmarried and nearly forty. He had no children and spent most of his days reading and writing. He had gone to university and studied literature, science, astronomy. He was a brilliant man and often regaled us with stories of his travels, his writings and readings, and took a particular delight in pointing out the stars, showing us, the servants, that is, the skies through his telescope.
I know such a relationship with servants is unusual to say the very least. But he was quite eccentric and I eventually came to understand that we were the only people he knew and felt he could talk to. It was while in the employ of this fine man that I met my first love.
For the whole of my youth I was taught that in time I would grow to maturity and a man would court me, then marry me. I assumed such a thing to be inevitable and never questioned its truth. It never even occurred to me that there could be anything else. And so when I felt a deep part of myself railing against such ideas I quashed it.
I was not the only maid in Mister Baker’s home. He had another, and the only other female servant, Molly. She was an Irish girl, young, not perhaps more than fourteen. She had been working for the Master of the house already a year when I came. We were roomed together and shared a bed since the room was too small for a second.
There was something in her green eyes when she looked at me. Something that awakened that rebellious voice I had silenced in my youth.
Now, you must understand, at the time I had no idea that her gaze was deliberate flirting. Such a thing would have never occurred to me. And to the casual observer, her touches, glances and smiles would seem no more than those gestures shared between two close girls.
But something in me understood. Between women such flirting is akin to a secret language. One we are born to, and don’t even know it. But only those women with whom such flirting may garner a reaction understand. I did not know that then, I was but a young girl, and not very worldly.
Molly, I did not know how, knew more than those innocent-looking green eyes told. She at fourteen was more worldly than I. And within my first three months of employment in the Good Mister Baker’s home, she and I had grown quite close.
I could not at the time describe my feelings for her. I knew I loved her but did not fully comprehend the type of love I felt.
The other servants encouraged me toward the stable boy. He was a strong and handsome young man, always hard at work tending the horses. He had taken a fancy to me and we courted shortly. But I simply never felt anything at all for him. No, indeed my feelings were all for Molly. Lovely little Molly.
I shan’t trouble you with the daily account of our growing relationship. Just know that three months we spent speaking this secret and surely forbidden language. A touch, a glance. Every morning it seemed that I awoke to find that in the night she had pressed herself to my back and draped her arm over my waist.
At first I assumed it to be an unconscious act, done in sleep. It was so frequent, though, that I began to wonder if she did not do this deliberately. I can’t exactly describe how awakening in the morn that way felt to me. But I knew I loved it. Feeling her close like that made my heart beat faster. I felt a tightening in my belly that was quite pleasant. I did not know it at the time, but I was falling in love.
It was in the fourth month I worked there that finally I would learn I was not alone in my feelings. We were in our room, sitting at our little table and eating. I had finished and we were talking across the table to one another when Molly took on the strangest look and became quiet. I was suddenly surprised as her hand came into contact with mine. I looked down to see her stroke the back of my hand with her thin fingers. When I looked back up she wore a very definite smile and I think it was then that I understood.
I grew silent and we shared that moment together. She was flirting, she did feel something more for me than friendship. And I her.
Without another word we stood together and began to kiss. She kissed me deeply and held me close. I was exhilarated. There were butterflies in my belly and I felt giddy. We did not need to speak as we moved to the bed and lay down side by side. A moment passed as we caught our breath and she turned to me.
“I love you, Elizabeth,” she whispered.
Like floodwater breaking over the bank my feelings overtook me. Yes, love, that was it, that was what I felt. “I love you too.”
For so long I had thought I was damaged, perhaps broken. I knew that the stable boy should have evoked an emotion in me and he did not. Certainly the problem had to be with me. But now, in the candlelight of our room, Molly showed me that there was nothing wrong at all. I could love, and recklessly so.
She rolled on top of me and began feverishly kissing me. I felt her hands on my sides, on my belly, and at last on my breasts. She unbuttoned my dress and slid it from my body. I lay there in my stockings and bloomers looking up at her, unsure. Even perhaps ashamed.
With a smile Molly removed her own dress and then pressed the warmth of her body against mine. Our breasts rubbed together as we kissed, and such fire was building in me as I had never known.
Molly’s lips left mine and she turned her attention to my young breasts. She lapped at my nipples and it sent shocks of pleasure to my sex. I was growing wet and suddenly became ashamed.
My shame became humiliation when she slid her hand into my bloomers and pressed her fingers inside me. I wanted to cry, but the smile on Molly’s face and in those magical eyes reassured me. She rubbed me in ways I’d never dreamt. I was powerless in her grasp. And then she took the last of my clothing, exposing my shame. I could not look her in the eyes, not at first. I closed my own eyes and perhaps would have stayed like that for the rest of the night if it had not been for the most curious sensation I think I had ever felt.
Molly had pushed her tongue into my sex, and it sent shivers throughout my body.
“What’s this then?” I gasped and pushed myself up on my elbows. She paused only a moment and smiled up at me, then returned to a task she seemed all too eager to finish.
I fell back against the bed and instinctively my knees rose up. Her fingers and her mouth worked together to enslave me to this passion. I wanted so much to be ashamed, but I was not, not any longer. It was overwhelming me. Each wave of pleasure that passed through my body seemed stronger than the last, until finally I became aware of something building with in me. Something new. Something almost frightening.
My body knew what I did not, and I was moving in a specific rhythm. Rocking my hips, my breath short and shallow. Molly conformed to my movements and suddenly it exploded out of me. My first climax. I had never dreamt such a thing. I had never heard of such a thing. But Molly, it seemed, had because her rhythm changed and it seemed that her fingers and tongue were working to draw this out. Such pleasure I had never known before but I would soon be embarrassed for experience.
When at last it had subsided, Molly slid up my body, kissing me as she did and laid atop me a short time before kissing me and rolling to lay on her side.
For a moment I lay fascinated with the new flavor on my lips. Her kiss was different now that she had done this thing to me, and I should have been disgusted, but I realize now that even then I was such a deviant as I loved it.
Molly took my hand in hers and kissed my fingers shortly. “Like this,” she said, pushing my hand into her bloomers and guiding my fingers on her sex. “Yes, there,” she sighed.
I felt it, a knot. I had never touched myself save through a washcloth and knew nothing of my body. But Molly knew. And tonight she would instruct me. With my hand in hers she massaged her sex. I watched fascinated by her as she moaned softly and her breaths became shortened.
I loved the way she felt beneath my fingers. Perhaps I was supposed to be disgusted, but no, indeed I was not. Her wetness on my fingertips. It urged me on, urged me to seek more. I wanted to know what she did, I wanted to return her kiss, but she held my hand fast and quickly manipulated a climax from herself, using my fingers.
When she was done, she pulled my hand from her and suckled my fingers. I could not believe it. I was both ashamed and enticed, and it was I who initiated the kiss that first allowed me to taste her.
Molly had not needed to explain to me how forbidden such a thing as we had done must be. We were sworn to secrecy in an unspoken oath. She was my first love, and for the following year I had her to myself.
During that year I learned that Molly had lived with her mother and father and her mother’s sister. It was this aunt who had taught Molly to appreciate the gentle touch of a woman. Her aunt had instructed her in all the ways of love between women. In turn, Molly taught me.
Of course at the time I could not actually imagine any other girls in the whole of the world that would do such things as Molly and I did. I knew it to be positively indecent, and something only myself and my lovely Molly engaged in.
A year, and all of my heart was in Molly’s hands. I loved her with total abandon. So much so that I did not notice that she did not love me so. It was the best year of my life, and I say that even now having known better lovers, and truer love, but she was my first and nothing ever quite compares to that.
Nor does anything compare to the heartbreak of your first love ending. I awoke on a particular morning. I found myself alone in bed and it was late by the sun through the window. I quickly dressed and went downstairs, then into the main house where I found Molly, Mister Baker, and a young man I did not know.
I did not need to be told who he was, though. The look in Molly’s eyes, it told me that she was leaving. I felt as though my heart had been torn from my body. I ached in every fiber of my being and lost even the ability to cry. She had been working for Mister Baker to save money, and the young man, her fiancée, had been sailing on one of Mister Baker’s ships. They were trying to save money to get married.
I collapsed to my knees and the good Mister had to help me back to my room. Molly and I had remained a secret all this time, but my reaction was not one of a girl losing her best friend. No, my collapse was that of one losing the love of her life.
Molly left that day without a word. I lay in my bed until nightfall when the butler brought up my food. He set it on my table and from the bed it looked so lonely there, knowing Molly would not join me, that I could not bear to eat.
It was late when the good Mister knocked at my door. I grunted his permission to enter and he came in, sitting at the table, in the seat Molly had always taken.
“Elizabeth,” he said, then remained silent for some time. “I knew I should have told you, but I did not know how.”
“And why would you have told me anything?”
“Come now, girl. There are no secrets in this house. We are six hours ride from town and have few visitors. You loved her, you were sweethearts.”
“How could you know that?” I gasped, now afraid. For not only had I lost my Molly, but this may well be the beginning of me losing my home and employment as well.
“Come now. I am a man of the world. I have read the great works of every author for whom I can find a book, and no literary scholar worth their salt does not know of Sappho.”
“Sappho?” My tears paused a moment, and I sat up, interested.
“Long ago in Greece there was a woman, she was a poet and quite good actually. She fell in love with one of her students… a girl… and when the girl did not love her the same, she threw herself from a cliff.”
“Sappho, so I’m not the first.” I was relieved. I had never heard of such a thing as Molly and I nor the things we did and so I assumed we must be the only ones.
He laughed and shook his head. “Of course not, girl. Perhaps alone in Harrisburg. But not in the world today.”
“And you are not disgusted.” I had to know. He spoke so casually. All of this was so unusual to me. I was but a servant and here he was, come to comfort me. Comfort me for the loss of my female lover.
“No, I think I am not. I have read countless books and such a thing is not new or unusual to me.” He patted my back and then left me in the darkness of my room.
I was grateful to him, and that night came to love him as a big brother or perhaps a father figure, but still, I realized in the loneliness of my room that this place no longer held anything for me. I resolved then to leave. I would go to Philadelphia. Perhaps there were women like me there. Perhaps I could meet them and somehow they could save me from this unimaginable heartbreak.
I left the Baker house soon after, with a single bag containing two dresses and a hat I knew I would never wear. The good Mister was flagrant with his wealth and even in his disappointment, he took me to town and saw me to a coach.
In my time in his house I had managed to save two British pounds, the coin with which Mister Baker paid us. He warned me that in Philadelphia I would need to find somewhere to trade them for Spanish dollars, the currency most favored, or even better, gold, a currency one could count on being accepted anywhere.
I left my youth, my innocence and my heart behind that day as we rode on to my new life, the life that I hoped would make me forget the love I had lost.
Continue on to Chapter 2
A New Hope, Part One
By No One
Emilia glanced at her phone for what felt like the hundredth time in the past half hour. The situation hadn’t changed: no new message. Not that there was any chance she would have missed a text coming in, but she couldn’t help making sure.
“Come onnnn,” she implored the phone. She should have been enjoying the beginning of the weekend on this Friday afternoon, but waiting for this reply was stressing her out in a big way.
Her best friend Jodie was sitting next to her on the grass near the school parking lot, absorbed in her own phone. “Yeah, well, I told you it was dumb to ask someone out over text,” she pointed out with an unsympathetic shrug.
“I know! But I just couldn’t do it face to face. It would be so awkward if she wasn’t interested. Like, when I worked with her on that team assignment, I kinda thought she was giving signals. Maybe? But… then again, maybe not. I don’t know!”
Another shrug. “Don’t you take drama class? Well, act like you’re brave and go for it.”
“That’s not the same at all,” Emilia protested. “It’s one thing to recite Shakespeare or whatever, it’s completely different when your ‘lines’ have an effect on your life. I don’t know how to handle that.”
“Don’t, then. But it shows you lack confidence. Girls don’t like that.”
“Psh. What do you know about what girls like?”
Jodie glanced up from her phone for a second to give Emilia an odd look. “I’m one, aren’t I?”
“Well, yeah, but… I mean, you don’t date girls… but… I guess you might still know. Okay, okay, that was a dumb thing to say!”
“What would you think if someone asked you out, all timid-like, through text?” Jodie wanted to know.
Emilia made a face. “Um, I don’t know… that it’s kinda cute and charming…?”
“Uh-huh. Well, I guess we’ll see.”
Emilia took one more look at her phone. Still no messages, of course. “Come on, what could take her so long? She has to have seen it, like, an hour ago. Just say no already and be done with it.”
“Now, that’s some positive thinking there.”
“Ugh, I think I’m gonna die a virgin.” Letting out a deep sigh, Emilia placed the back of her hand against her forehead and let herself fall back onto the grass — acting class had to be good for something, after all.
Jodie chortled. “Drama queen. Only sixteen and already an old maid, huh?”
“Seventeen in two months. And yeah, feels like it. Never even been on a date. How old were you when you had sex for the first time?”
“Err…” Jodie hesitated, which wasn’t like her at all. Usually, she loved talking about her sex life in too much detail.
The question immediately vanished from Emilia’s mind, though, because her phone finally chimed at that moment, indicating a new text. She sat bolt upright and stared at the device in her hand, suddenly terrified to read the message she’d been waiting for so desperately.
“Well?” Jodie pressed her.
“Um… I don’t, uh… You read it for me,” Emilia said, holding out the phone towards her friend.
“What? Seriously?” Rolling her eyes, Jodie grabbed the phone.
Emilia watched the other girl intently as she read, trying to deduce meaning from her reaction. That subtle wince didn’t bode well. “What? What is it?”
Jodie sighed, handing the phone back. “She’s flattered, but she’s not into girls,” she said. Straight to the point, as usual.
“What? Shit! I thought… Oh, goddammit.” Emilia fell back onto the grass again — only this time, she wasn’t acting. Reading the text for herself, she saw that it was slightly more verbose and apologetic than the way Jodie had put it, but her friend had indeed summed up the gist of the message.
“Sorry, Em,” Jodie said, with more compassion than before. “Her loss. I’m sure she’s missing out.”
Emilia chuckled sadly. “Oh yeah? What, do you want to go out with me, then?” She’d always thought her friend was quite attractive, actually, with her long auburn hair, big brown eyes, and pleasing figure. But ever since they’d become fast friends at the beginning of high school, it had been quite clear that Jodie was into boys, so Emilia hadn’t let herself think of the girl like that. Not much, anyway.
Jodie laughed. “Sorry, babe. I’m taken. Speaking of, he should be around to pick me up any minute now,” she said, glancing around. “Gonna grab something to eat, then it’s back to his place for an evening of sexy fun. That means fucking. And I do mean the whole evening — the guy has stamina, let me tell you. And some of those positions — “
“God, sorry I asked!” Emilia quickly interrupted. Jodie was definitely back in Too Much Information mode.
Her friend had been seeing some college boy lately, though Emilia wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be Jodie’s boyfriend, or just her boy toy. It felt like everything she heard concerning the guy was about his performance in the bedroom. Actually, in the bedroom and various other places, Emilia had learned, despite her best efforts to remain ignorant.
Jodie grinned. “And what are your plans for the evening, now that you’re a dateless loser?”
“Jeez, ouch.” Clearly, Jodie had run out of sympathy. Somehow, the comment still made Emilia laugh and feel a little better. “Well, the date would have been tomorrow. Tonight, I’m babysitting Stella. Her parents are taking off on some kind of quick romantic getaway until tomorrow afternoon, so I’m staying over tonight and watching the kid.”
“Oh, well then, you wanted to spend the night with a cute girl, so there you go.”
Emilia grimaced. “Jesus, Jodie! She’s barely eleven! I was thinking of someone a little older, y’know!”
Jodie shrugged. “Hey, hook ‘em while they’re young, right? She might need someone to teach her about the birds and the bees. Or just the birds, whatever.”
“You’re horrible.” Emilia tried to sound disapproving, but she finally had to laugh.
“And that’s why you love me.” Jodie flashed a smug smile.
They were suddenly interrupted by a car horn. “Oh, there’s Jake,” Jodie said, waving at her boyfriend’s beat-up Chevy. At least he had a car, Emilia admitted; she still had to rely on her trusty old bike to get around.
Getting to her feet, Emilia gave her friend a quick goodbye hug. “Text me sometime,” she said.
“Sure, I’ll give you updates throughout the night,” Jodie said, straightfaced.
“Not what I meant! Please don’t,” Emilia begged, not entirely sure her friend was kidding.
Jodie winked in response, then she was off, leaving Emilia to her thoughts.
Her friend’s little joke about Stella had hit a bit close to home, she had to admit. The last few times she’d babysat the young girl, Emilia couldn’t help noticing the changes in her developing body. Stella was at an age when she was growing rapidly — and not only in height. Emilia had also noted a slight flaring of her hips and even a hint of breasts.
The girl was cute as a button, and seemed certain to become a very attractive young woman in no time. Emilia already felt a little weird for noticing these things. The last thing she needed was to be thinking this way about a girl of eleven.
A sudden presence at her shoulder startled her. “Oh, and… if you get caught making out with the kid, it wasn’t my idea,” Jodie whispered in a conspiratorial tone, then walked away again.
“Get out of here already!” Emilia called after her, laughing.
*****
Emilia rang the doorbell and, a few moment later, Stella’s dad opened the door. “Hey, Mr. Jackson,” she greeted him.
“Hi, Emilia. Thanks for coming,” he said as he let her in. “I know things must be hectic for you near the end of the school year. We’ve started letting Stella stay home by herself but… since we’ll be gone overnight, you know, we’d be more at ease if someone was with her. She insisted that we ask you.”
Emilia smiled. It was nice to be wanted, if only by a little girl. “Oh, it’s no problem. I didn’t really have any plans for the weekend, anyway,” she said, feeling an unwanted twinge of bitterness. “I brought some school books if I want to study” — that was a big if — “so it’s fine. You guys can even stay away longer if you want, it’s cool. Just let me know.”
“Why, what a wonderful idea. Why don’t we stay longer?” Mrs. Jackson said in honeyed tones as she walked down the corridor to join them.
Her husband winced. “We’ve been over this. I just can’t take that much time off from work right now. When things aren’t so crazy with the new project, I promise we’ll take a nice vacation.”
It sounded like Emilia had inadvertently revived an argument between the couple. “Oops,” she said, by way of apology.
“You better believe I’ll hold you to that,” Mrs. Jackson said, the cajoling tone gone from her voice, though she winked at Emilia when her husband wasn’t looking.
“Emmi!” a little voice suddenly cried out, then a skinny bundle of blonde hair and white clothes came rushing out of the living room and caught Emilia in a tight hug.
“Hey there, sweetie. Missed me, huh?”
“Yeah!” Stella replied with enthusiasm. The beautiful young girl gazed up at Emilia with dancing green eyes, giving her the sweetest smile. It looked as if she’d grown again, looking more like a young woman than ever.
Emilia was glad to see the girl in a good mood. The last time she’d babysat here, Stella’s best friend Stacy had just moved away to the other side of the country, and the poor kid had been feeling really down about it.
“Well, I missed you too,” she said, returning the smile. She wasn’t just being nice, either. She’d always gotten along great with Stella, and it had been a while since she’d sat for the girl. Who knows, the evening might even cheer Emilia up a little.
“Looks like you have things well in hand already,” Mrs. Jackson said, “so I think we’ll be off.” She sounded like she was in a hurry to begin their mini-vacation.
Emilia nodded. “Sure. You two have a good time, now.”
Leaving Stella to say goodbye to her parents, Emilia wandered into the living room, taking in the familiar sci-fi decor — a miniature replica of that spaceship from Star Trek, a few posters of various old shows that Emilia had never seen, a multitude of novels and comic books. Mr. Jackson was a bit of a geek, but there was nothing wrong with that, in her estimation.
Plopping down on the couch, she noticed a DVD box set on the coffee table and picked it up for a closer look. Star Wars, of course it was. It had been a few years since Emilia had seen the older movies in the series, she realized. She’d always enjoyed them as a kid.
“Oh! My dad got that last week!” Stella explained with some excitement as she walked back into the living room. “Isn’t it cool?”
“Star Wars? Sure, but… I’m surprised he didn’t own it already. Kind of essential sci-fi, right?”
“Nooo, this one has the original version of the first trilogy, before they added a bunch of stupid computer graphics and other crap. It’s way better!”
Emilia couldn’t help chuckling at the explanation, probably quoted straight from Stella’s dad. “Oh yeah, you mean stuff they changed, like, before we were even born? Very important!”
Stella stuck out her tongue, though the gesture ended up far more cute than rude. “Have you seen the original version?”
“Uh… I don’t know?” Emilia was only vaguely aware that there were different versions. “I don’t think so?”
“Oh! We should watch all three movies tonight, then!” Stella exclaimed, excitement rising in her voice.
“You haven’t watched them already?”
The child gave her a puzzled glance. “Yeah, so?”
Emilia smiled, remembering how she used to watch the same movies over and over again when she was a kid. “Three movies, though, that’s probably like six hours…”
“So?”
“So… it’ll be past midnight before we’re done.”
“So?” Stella said again, her grin widening with each repetition.
“So that’s way past your bedtime!”
“I won’t tell if you don’t…” the young girl sang, eyes shining with mischief.
“Hmm…” Emilia made a show of considering the proposal, a finger tapping her chin. She had to admit that the idea seemed like fun, now that she thought about it. It wouldn’t be that big a deal if Stella missed her bedtime this once, she supposed. Sometimes, you had to break the rules to have some fun, after all. She was fairly sure the girl would be drifting off halfway through Return of the Jedi, anyway.
Besides, it was hard to deny Stella anything when she gazed at you with those lovely emerald eyes.
“Well, tell you what,” Emilia finally said, “why don’t you go take a bath and put on your PJ’s and all that, and then we’ll see how much we can watch before I have to carry you to bed.”
“Okay, but I’m not gonna fall asleep, and we’ll watch ‘em all!”
“Yeah, yeah. We’ll see.”
As Stella pranced off towards the bathroom, Emilia caught herself admiring the shape of the girl’s little ass in those tight white shorts. Realizing what she was doing, she gave her head a shake to try to clear her mind. Jesus, Em, get a grip, she told herself. She’s just a kid, you’re not that desperate.
Aren’t I, though? she thought, glumly reflecting upon her love life — or lack thereof.
Admittedly, there was no doubt that Stella would be breaking a lot of hearts in a few years — if she hadn’t already started. The girl looked like an angel fallen from heaven. Emilia couldn’t be the only one who had noticed. Still, there was no way she’d try anything with the kid, of course. That was just creepy. It’s all Jodie’s fault, with her dumb jokes.
Emilia shook her head sternly. No. Stella would get back from her bath, and they’d watch the movies. A perfectly normal evening, just friendly, innocent fun. No more weird thoughts.
Once Emilia saw the young girl returning from the bathroom some time later, though, she realized she’d made a critical mistake. For this particular evening, Stella’s nightwear consisted of a pink tank top that went down to her hips, baby-blue panties underneath, and nothing else.
Emilia stared for a moment, taken aback by the vision in front of her. Stella’s top was just tight enough to highlight the girl’s budding breasts and her slim waist. The half-displayed panties offered a tantalizing tease, Emilia already imagining the treasures hidden beneath, despite her best intentions. And those fine legs! They’d be the envy of many older girls.
Stella looked sexy as hell, there was no other way to put it — and she probably didn’t even realize it! Emilia became aware that her mouth was hanging half-open and quickly snapped it shut.
“Something wrong?” Stella asked, a hesitant smile playing at the corner of her mouth.
“Uh, no, just… no, all’s good,” Emilia said, struggling to appear casual. “So, we watching that movie, or what?”
Hoping to quickly move on past her embarrassing lapse, she handed the box for the first film to Stella and watched her happily skip over to the TV to put the disc in. As the girl bent over to reach the DVD player in the TV stand, Emilia was treated to another alluring view of her pert little ass.
Oh, fuck me, she thought, despairing. This is gonna be a long evening. “So, uh… that’s all you’re wearing?” she asked, trying to sound like she didn’t care one way or another.
“Yeah, it’s hot tonight,” Stella replied.
“Hot for sure,” Emilia mumbled an agreement, though maybe they weren’t talking about the same thing.
As the obligatory succession of logos appeared on screen, Stella hurried back to the couch and settled down next to Emilia — just a bit too close for comfort, their arms touching in a rather distracting fashion.
The iconic opening fanfare rang out, then the familiar big yellow text began its slow crawl across the screen. Emilia had some difficulty focusing on what it said this time — though she knew the gist of it already: Evil Empire, Rebels, and so on. Instead, her eyes were drawn sideways to her young companion.
Stella had put her feet up on the coffee table — which Emilia was pretty sure she wasn’t allowed to do, but let it slide — offering a nice view of her shapely legs. Emilia couldn’t help but steal glances instead of watching the screen. Damn. Did I have legs like that at eleven? No way.
She sighed inwardly. So much for no more weird thoughts. Could she really be blamed, though? Eleven years old or not, Stella was obviously sexy. Surely anyone would think the same.
Right? Or am I just being a huge perv? I can’t even tell anymore.
She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, then opened them again, forcing herself to pay attention to the movie. Her mind in turmoil, it took some effort at first, but soon she relaxed enough to let herself get pulled in by the familiar story.
Though the image quality wasn’t so great in this version, Stella had been right that the old-school special effects did have a certain distinctive charm to them. Emilia found herself genuinely enjoying revisiting this old favorite in its original form.
Once the end credits started rolling, she turned towards Stella — and once again, her breath caught at how beautiful the young girl was in her skimpy nightwear. Pushing the unwanted thought away, she said, “Well, the Death Star’s destroyed, so I guess they’ll just be celebrating for the next two movies, huh?”
Stella made a face at the silly joke, but a giggle still escaped her lips. “Yeah, right!”
“Oh? That’s not how it goes? It’s been a while since I saw this.” A sudden chime from her phone caught Emilia’s attention, and she absently plucked the device from her pocket. “Nah, but seriously, that was pretty cool. Must have been hard to pull off those effects with really old technology like that.”
Glancing at the phone screen, she read the text from Jodie and realized with horror that her friend was making good on her earlier threat. “Oh God,” she groaned, facepalming.
“What’s wrong?” Stella asked, a little alarmed.
“Oh, nothing. Just a friend of mine, she’s with her boyfriend and, uh…” Emilia hesitated. She gave the girl a sidelong glance, then read the text again: Four orgasms and counting!
Emilia weighed her response. She shouldn’t tell a kid about something like that, but… she was really curious about what Stella’s reaction might be. It’s not like the message was that explicit anyway, and surely Stella knew the word ‘orgasm’ by now. I wonder if she’s had one yet?
The thought sent a thrill through her and pushed her into a decision. “My friend Jodie, she uh… tends to overshare a lot,” Emilia explained, angling her phone towards Stella to let her read.
The young girl scanned the screen, then let out a little gasp and covered her mouth. “Oh, wow!” she said with a nervous little laugh. “Um… well… sounds like they’re having a good time.”
Emilia chuckled as well, surprised at the comment. Well, she’s not too shocked. Huh. Interesting. “Yeah, sure sounds like it,” she said. “I guess Jodie’s guy is pretty good at, er, getting her off.”
There was a moment of silence, both of them apparently uncertain of what to say next, then Stella cleared her throat. “I, um… I never had that many at one time,” she admitted. “Four… that’s a lot, huh?” Her cheeks flushed a bit, but there was also mischief in her eyes as she seemed to watch for a reaction to her statement.
Emilia’s eyebrows shot up. Wow. Well, that answers that question, she thought, her mouth suddenly dry as she tried hard to avoid the image of little Stella playing with herself — and failing completely. She swallowed before replying, “Yeah, um… I guess it is, really.”
There had been times when Emilia had been really horny, but never enough to make herself come four times in an evening. In a day, maybe. Of course, if she’d had someone to share the fun with, that might be a very different story… “I mean, when you do it by yourself, anyway. You don’t usually, uh… you know, do it over and over,” she continued, unsure what she was even getting at. “Right?”
Stella opened her mouth as if to say something, then closed it. “Um… yeah,” she finally said after an awkward pause, her eyes shying away from Emilia’s gaze.
What’s she hiding? Emilia wondered. The girl had already admitted to masturbating. Or having orgasms, anyway, but that was the same thing at her age. Unless…. Oh. No, she couldn’t have… could she?
“Wait, you… You didn’t… do it with someone else, did you?” she asked, uncertain whether she was excited or scared to hear the answer.
Stella stared at her wide-eyed and suddenly turned scarlet.
“Holy shit! You did?” Emilia blurted out. She was usually careful to avoid swearing in front of the kids she babysat, but in this rather extreme circumstance it just slipped out. Did eleven-year-olds have sex now? If so, her own case was even sadder than she’d thought.
“Please don’t tell my parents!” Stella begged, suddenly on the verge of tears.
“Hey, calm down. I didn’t mean it like that…” What Stella’s parents might think hadn’t exactly been Emilia’s first line of thought. Besides, she couldn’t even begin to imagine the awkwardness of explaining that their little girl was fooling around with… who?
Suddenly, fear gripped her heart as one ugly possibility occurred to her. “Sweetie, um, are you…” she began, searching for words. “It’s not… an older guy who made you do things, is it?”
“Eww! No!” Stella made a funny grimace.
Emilia sighed in relief. “Okay, okay. Sorry, I had to ask. I was scared for a second. So then, if it was just, like, kids fooling around a bit, well… I guess that’s your business. I won’t tell.”
She knew that a responsible babysitter probably should make the parents aware of a little detail like their eleven-year-old having sexual experiences, but… that was one conversation Emilia really didn’t want to have. Besides, she thought of Stella as a friend, and couldn’t bring herself to snitch on the poor girl.
Stella puffed out her cheeks and let out a long breath in a cartoon-like expression of relief. “Thank you,” she said, as earnestly as if Emilia had just saved her life.
Emilia figured it would probably be best to leave it at that, but… now she was curious about the specifics, and couldn’t let the subject drop. “Sooo… who was it? A boy from school?”
Stella looked at her warily and remained tight-lipped.
“No? Then…” It seemed that Emilia would have to guess. She didn’t remember Stella ever mentioning any male friends. Unless… could it be? “Or a girl, maybe…?” she added with a nonchalant shrug, as if she had no special interest in the matter — though her heart rate sped up at the thought.
Stella did her best impression of a deer caught in headlights. “Is that it?” Emilia had some trouble keeping her tone casual. Wow. Eleven years old, and not only has this kid gotten more action than me, but with another girl, too. Fuck my life. She was wondering which friend Stella had been experimenting with when her mind suddenly connected the dots. “Wait, was it your friend who moved away? Stacy, wasn’t it?”
Stella’s look of disbelief quickly turned to annoyance. “Stop… guessing everything!” she exclaimed, her cheeks flushed crimson.
Emilia couldn’t keep from laughing. “Sorry, sweetie, but you’re not making it very hard!” Still, the girl’s amusing reaction aside, she felt bad for Stella. No wonder she seemed so depressed before. “That’s really rough, though. Losing a friend is hard enough, but if you were… more than friends… well, I’m really sorry it had to go that way.”
Stella nodded and sighed, now looking dejected all over again.
Emilia cursed herself for bringing it up. “But you guys can still talk online and stuff, right?”
“I guess. We do, but it’s not the same…”
Emilia suspected that, if she’d had a lover, she wouldn’t be content with a long-distance relationship either. Being able to keep in touch online was great and all, of course, but it seemed a poor substitute for kissing and cuddling with a cute girl in real life. Not to mention the actual sex, Emilia thought. If I ever get to know what that’s like.
This self-pity wasn’t helping poor Stella, though. Emilia racked her brain for something comforting to say but could only come up with useless platitudes.
In the end, it was Stella who broke the silence. “Do you… think I’m weird? ‘Cause I like girls?” she asked in a small voice, her eyes meeting Emilia’s for a brief moment before darting away.
Emilia blinked, feeling stupid. She hadn’t even considered that Stella might be feeling embarrassed because of that. Emilia was at least comfortable with her own orientation, and had come out to her family and friends, but she could still remember how confused she’d been at Stella’s age. “Oh, no! No no no!” she quickly said. “There’s nothing wrong with that at all. Hey, I like girls too!” she confided, hoping to reassure the girl.
The change in Stella was immediate. Her melancholy vanished in an instant as she looked up sharply, replaced by excitement and enthusiasm. “Really?” she exclaimed, as if she’d just heard the best news in the world.
“Well, yeah… It’s no big deal, and you should never feel bad for, um, who you like,” Emilia said. She found the glint of interest in Stella’s eyes to be both alarming and intriguing, making her heart flutter. Uh-oh, she thought, wondering if she’d just made a mistake. Her mind was already conjuring up visions of two naked young girls making love, which didn’t help matters. Stop that! she told herself, to no avail.
“Do you have a girlfriend?” Stella quickly wanted to know.
“Oh, um… no,” Emilia mumbled, not wanting to admit that the younger girl actually had more experience than she did. “You’re lucky to have had one already, even if… Err…” She stopped herself before she foolishly brought up their involuntary break-up again. Clearing her throat, she snatched at the first happy topic that came to mind. “Anyway. I bet you girls had a lot of fun, huh?”
A sly smile slowly spread on Stella’s lips. “Oh yeah, a lot,” she said with a slight wiggle of her eyebrows.
Such a simple statement, yet the child’s delivery inflamed Emilia’s imagination like nothing else. She’d met Stacy once, and recalled her being quite the cutie, though maybe not as mesmerizing as Stella. Now the erotic possibilities between those two little girls swam before her mind’s eye, accompanied by a surge of warmth between her legs. Though embarrassed to do so, she desperately wanted to ask for every detail.
That was a terrible idea, though. Emilia eyed the TV, trying to will herself to simply put in the next movie and leave this increasingly dangerous conversation behind them.
Still… she was dying to know how far the two girls had gone, which of the dirty visions in her head had actually taken place. Guilt for the arousal she felt still weighed on her, but its burden seemed to be growing lighter as her panties became damper.
Don’t be a creep, her rational mind exhorted but, overwhelmed by her libido, she thrust the thought away, shutting it away in the back of her brain.
Emilia struggled to keep her voice casual and even. “Cool. Sounds pretty nice,” she said, as if she did that sort of thing all the time. Leaning a little closer in a conspiratorial manner, she asked, “Sooo, what kind of fun are we talking about? How far did you go?”
Stella flashed a grin, excitement quickly overcoming her shyness. Maybe she was happy for the chance to talk about her secret sex life with someone. “Well, you know…” she began, a little coyly at first. “Kissing…”—she mimicked the lip motion—“taking our clothes off…”—a girlish giggle—“and touching… all over!” She finished with a little shiver, as if overwhelmed by her erotic memories.
Emilia swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry. Images of little Stella with a hand between her friend’s legs flashed in her mind. And the cute, girly way that Stella had explained it all turned Emilia on even more, she was forced to admit. She was certain her panties were now soaked.
“Did you… do it with your tongue, too?” she asked, her voice grown husky with arousal. The part of her that had been objecting to her curiosity had fallen silent — only a slight sense of disapproval remained in a tiny corner of her mind.
Stella nodded. “French kissing? Yeah, that’s fun.”
Surprised, Emilia gazed in wonder at the girl. Doesn’t she even know…? “Not exactly. I meant licking… you know, some other place.” She glanced downwards in a meaningful way.
The young girl looked confused for a moment. She followed Emilia’s gaze, then her eyebrows shot up. “What? Licking… down there? No way… Is that even a thing?” she asked in disbelief.
Emilia took a tiny measure of pride in the fact that, though she might not have any experience, she at least knew more about sex than this eleven-year-old. “That’s totally a thing,” she assured Stella, though the girl was looking at her doubtfully. “What? You know how nice fingers can feel, right? So… imagine a warm, wet tongue instead.” Not that Emilia knew what being licked felt like either, but she had spent considerable time imagining it.
Stella pondered the notion for a moment. “Well… I guess that does sound pretty great,” she admitted, a grin spreading on her lips. Her eyes widened as she seemed to look at Emilia in a new light. “So… you’ve done that?” she asked, sounding impressed, or maybe just shocked.
“Oh, err…” Though embarrassed, it seemed Emilia would have to come clean. She didn’t want to mislead Stella. “Well, no. Um, I haven’t actually… done anything with a girl — or a boy, even,” she confessed, scratching the back of her head. “From the sound of it, you’ve had way more action than me,” she added with a nervous laugh.
Stella blinked at her. “Really? Nothing, ever? But… you’re so pretty!” she blurted out. Then, realizing what she’d just said, she grew more bashful. “Err, no, I mean… well… yeah, you are,” she finished with a shrug, apparently deciding to roll with it.
“Oh, um… thanks.” Heat rose to Emilia’s cheeks. She felt a little silly getting flustered at a compliment from a little girl, but it was becoming very difficult to see Stella as just a kid. “I guess I’m just not very outgoing… and kinda bad at talking to people… and, you know, it’s not always easy to tell which girls might be interested,” she explained, thinking of her dumb mistake with the text she’d sent earlier that day.
“Well, you’re talking to me now…” Stella pointed out, a not-so-innocent smile on her lips.
“Yeah, I guess you’re easy to talk to…” Again, that glint in Stella’s eyes was making Emilia uncomfortable in more ways than one. The whole exchange was moving in a rather precarious direction, and despite her salacious interest, Emilia figured it was high time to steer it towards safer grounds.
But Stella beat her to the punch. “Really, though? Never even a kiss?”
“Well, okay, there was one kiss,” Emilia admitted.
The younger girl waited expectantly, until it was clear that Emilia would have to tell the story. “It was a few years ago. I was, like, thirteen, I think. There was this girl in my class, Sandy, who I hung out with a bit. One time, I went over to her house and, well… she wanted to try kissing, just to see what it was like, y’know?”
Stella nodded. “That’s kinda how it started with me and Stacy, too!”
“Oh, really?” Emilia made a face. “I guess it worked out better for you guys… Anyway, so, yeah, we kissed. And right when our lips touched — God, her lips were so soft, too — I knew. Knew that it was always gonna be all about girls for me, y’know? I mean, I kinda knew before, of course, but… at that moment, everything felt so right and perfect, if you know what I mean.” Stella smiled, her expression looked like she did, in fact, know exactly how it felt. “Buuuut… I guess Sandy didn’t feel the same. One kiss, and then her curiosity was satisfied. She thought I was a weirdo when I wanted to do it again.” She sighed. “I was pretty crushed, gotta say…”
“Oh, I’m so sorry,” Stella said, her voice full of sympathy. She took Emilia’s hand in hers and gave it a squeeze — clearly meant as a comforting gesture, but it mainly served to make Emilia’s heart skip a beat. “Well, that Sandy was a big dummy. Girls are the best!” the young girl added with more levity, apparently now more at ease with her own orientation.
“Thanks, sweetie. So there you have it — the pathetically brief history of my love life,” Emilia said with a self-conscious shrug.
Stella was studying her with an appraising look. A very adult look, even, which made Emilia’s pulse quicken, and alarm bells ring in her head. “Do you, um, want… Would you maybe…” the young girl began, then stopped herself, glancing away.
Emilia had a fairly good idea of what Stella wanted to suggest — and there was only danger in that direction, alluring as it was. Her hand was still touching Stella’s, sending confusing signals to her mind. She needed to take back her hand, use it to set up the next movie, and move on from this awkward situation.
She did none of that. Instead, she said, “What is it, Stel?”
Stella met Emilia’s gaze once more, now blushing a little. “Oh, nothing,” she said quickly with a nervous giggle, suddenly a little girl again.
Emilia barely managed to keep herself from sighing in relief. Okay, now change the subject, for fuck’s sake—
“But…” Stella interrupted, then took a deep breath. “Just, I mean, if you want… You could get another kiss. Right now. You don’t have to be lonely,” she said. Her cheeks had turned scarlet, but her eyes held sensual promises. “Or we could maybe do more. I could show you.” She flashed a flirty smile, just as one of her hands fiddled nervously with a strand of hair — an intoxicating mix of sexiness and childishness.
Emilia stared, swallowed. “I…” she began, then fell silent.
It was out in the open now, the little temptress’ offer. Emilia’s brain was overwhelmed with conflicting emotions. She couldn’t possibly consider having sex with a kid, a part of her mind argued. That was one sexy-as-hell “kid,” though, another part countered — and God, Emilia was so ready to lose her virginity.
“I, err…” she tried again. It wasn’t like she’d be corrupting or perverting an innocent little girl, right? On the contrary, it was Stella doing the seducing! Still, that particular excuse wouldn’t fly at all if they got caught.
“Look, that’s not, um… I could get in huge trouble,” Emilia finally said, though even to her ears, the objection sounded weak.
Stella’s smile only grew wider, as if she’d already won the argument. “I won’t tell if you don’t…” she said, her voice sweet, but her eyes sultry. She’d already had her way with that line once tonight.
Though Emilia had been hunting for details about Stella’s sexual experiences, now it felt like she’d become the prey instead, as if a cute puppy she’d been chasing turned out to be a hungry wolf. Stella’s gaze, erotic beyond her age, was quickly conquering Emilia’s misgivings, and she had to look away for a moment to be able to think at all.
Her eyes drifted to the movie boxes stacked on the coffee table. Too late for that, she thought. Darth Vader stared back from the cover art, his impassive mask offering no help. Yeah, I know what you think about joining the Dark Side. Instead of considering her current predicament, Emilia could only come up with the silly thought that the Empire would have a better public image if their representative was a sexy young girl, rather than a scary dude in a black cape who chokes people with his mind. Closing her eyes for a heartbeat or two, she pictured it.
Stella seemed to take the silence for consent. Rising up to her knees, she leaned in close, so near that Emilia could feel the girl’s breath on her face.
One glance into those beguiling green eyes and Emilia felt her scruples dwindling out. “God, I want you,” she whispered, amazed to hear herself say the words. “I… I really do.”
The big grin of childlike delight on Stella’s face did nothing to assuage her guilt, but then the young girl’s lips brushed hers, and all rational thought fled away.
Suddenly, everything felt right with Emilia’s world as they shared that first, soft kiss. Delicious tingles spread through her body as she reveled in the feel of Stella’s silky lips. Even her breath seemed sweet and refreshing.
Like a nomad dying of thirst who finally stumbles upon an oasis, Emilia couldn’t get enough. As soon as their lips parted, she went back for another kiss, then another, growing more passionate each time, her pulse pounding in her ears. Stella seemed just as eager, returning every kiss with ardor.
Finally they had to break apart, pausing for breath. “Wow,” Emilia said.
“I know! You’re a pretty good kisser. Y’know, for a newbie,” Stella teased.
“Ha! Thanks, teacher,” Emilia said, making the young girl giggle. She was relieved to know that she hadn’t been a disappointment, though. She could scarcely believe what was happening, but knew she wanted more — needed more. She was just about to pull Stella closer for another luscious kiss when she caught sight of their reflection in the large living room window. “Oh, crap… hey, let’s at least do this away from the window, okay?” Making out with a kid already seemed like poor judgment; doing so where anyone passing by could see them was definitely dumb.
“Okay!” Stella jumped to her feet, extended both hands to Emilia, then practically yanked her up from where she sat. “C’mon!” the girl cried, then immediately began dragging her towards the bedrooms.
Emilia had to smile at Stella’s childish eagerness — as if they were going outside to play kid’s games. For her part, though, she was seething with desire and anticipation. This is it, I’m about to have sex. With an eleven-year-old.
The last traces of her guilt now obliterated by lust, she hurried after Stella.
Continue on to Part Two
