| Ask Aunt Sheila – 4 Ask Aunt Sheila is just a bit of nonsense, written at intervals for my own amusement. The Aunt Sheila Agony Column is not meant to be taken too seriously! A further selection of the correspondence that our Aunt Sheila has dealt with recently. 31 Naughty niece Dear Aunt Sheila I am really worried about my niece Carrie. She is only seven, but I have noticed that she spends an awful lot of time rubbing what she calles her "mimi", sometimes through her clothes, sometimes with her fingers against the naked flesh. I am sure she is not really aware of what she is doing, but it is clear to me that she must be getting some pleasure from it. I tried a couple of times to distract her, even said once "Dear, leave you mimi alone", but to no avail. Is it normal for very young girls to pleasure themselves with their fingers in this way? Yours Aunt Dorothy (name and address supplied) Dorothy, you have evidently forgotten what you did when you were a little girl. The behaviour you describe is totally normal, and if you have any sense at all, you will encourage it. Carrie has discovered already what pleasure there is to be had from her pussy, and you can help her discover new delights, young as she is. So, stop fretting and get down to some serious mutual fondling, touching, probing, licking with your lucky niece, Carrie. 32 Cocksucker Dear Aunt Sheila I got drunk at a party the other night and sucked off a guy. I never did this before, I prefer eating pussy. But now I am real confused. Please advise me. Linda Butler Linda, don't waste my time. You wanna suck cock? Suck cock. You wanna be a regular normal kind of woman and eat pussy? Eat pussy. Simple as that, sweetie. By the way, nobody ever gagged or threw up eating pussy. Think about it. 33 Mother and daughter Dear Aunt Sheila I watched a video the other night where a mother seduced her own daughter. I mean they were just actors, but it made me start thinking: would a mother in real life actually have sex with her own daughter? My mom is really sexy and I admire the way she keeps her body in trim, and dresses real well, but I never thought about her, you know, that way. And I am sure she just thinks of me as her little Nadine, even though I am eighteen now and, according to my friends, a real stunner, mainly cos I have a good rack. Don't ask me, Nadine, ask you mother! It sounds to me as if you and she have the perfect opportunity to have some seriously awesome sex togeher. The answer to your general question is: the research shows that 80% of women with daughters have some form of sexual contact with them, mostly at the level of caressing and kissing, but sometimes it goes "all the way". I hope for your sake that you and your mom go all the way. 34 Golden Showers Dear Aunt Sheila The way my girlfriend described it to me, it sounded like really hot, but what it is, she stands over my naked body, lowers herself slowly, squats over my face and then pees. Do other people go in for this "golden shower" stuff, or is it just that my girlfriend is perverted? Personally, I never saw the attraction of being pissed on, if you will pardon the expression, but I know a lot of friends who get off doing that stuff. I suggest you reverse roles and piss on her, and if she really likes it, that's fine. If she doesn't, ask her how the hell you are supposed to like it if she doesn't! The only exception I would make is if you get yourself into the scissors position and piss into each other's vaginas. I can assure you that that is a sensation you will never ever forget! Have fun. 35 Being sucked off through your panties Dear Aunt Sheila Am I sick or what? I love to be sucked off through my panties. In fact, I can cum in less than a minute when my girlfriend does that to me. I would hate to think that there is something wrong with me, but I just LOVE it. Pantygirl If it works for you, Pantygirl, what's your problem? If you are happy, and your girlfriend enjoys sucking your pussy through your panties, just get on with it and stop writing silly letters to me. PS I am a bit bitchy about this, because I LOVE it when my lover puts her mouth over my panties and sucks me off! 36 Smells I love the smell of unwashed cunt. I mean, really stale, really strong, takes your breath away kind of aroma. My partner, though, is obsessive about hygiene and washes herself at least twice a day. How can I persuade her that the smell of an unwashed pussy is a great turn-on? Ellie Ellie, you can't. Some people are obsessed with hygiene. My advice to you is to accept your girlfriend - because you presumably love her - but find your olfactory fulfilment with another woman, probably a whore. I say a whore, because they are professsionals and will provide you with whatever you ask for: a smelly cunt should be no problem for them! Happy sniffing and happy muffdiving! 37 Fucking a nun Dear Aunt Sheila Is it all right to fuck a nun? Mary G (name and address supplies) Mary, are you serious?! The standard answer is "Yes, it is all right to fuck a nun as long as you don't get into the habit." But, to be serious, I have no doubt that it is all right to have sex with a nun, but do make sure that she is willing too: raping a nun could give you some serious problems in the afterlife! 38 Women in the military Dear Aunt Sheila Is it true that all women who join the military are lesbians? Edwina Curry The answer, Edwina, is YESSS!!! And if they aren't when they join, they soon will be! 39 Dear Aunt Sheila Is it ever wrong for one woman to make love to another? J Well, J, none that I can think of, except it is probably inadvisable to perform cunnilingus on your girlfriend when she is driving on the Los Angeles freeway during the rush hour. 40 Happily married Dear Aunt Sheila I am happily married with three lovely children. My husband and I have a great sex life. I find your constant advice to women to get into lesbian sex both offensive and unnatural. What IS your problem with normal heterosexual relationships? Married Megan I have no problem with heterosexual relationships, Megan dear, although I think they probably work better with domestic animals and wildlife in general. I am happy for you and for being the mother of three children, but that's no reason why you shouldn't "take a walk on fhe wild side". Put it this way: if you haven't tried it, how do you know it's not what you want? Find another happily married woman with kids and spend an afternoon eating out each other's pussies, and you will see what I mean. PS You realise, of course, that your hubby is probably getting his kicks sucking cock?! LOL |