| Shandi's Diary Jul 18 I babysit for an adorable little girl. We have tea parties and dress up times together. She loves to take naps with me on the couch. What she really likes is having me play with her little toes and rub her feet. She giggles and yes I get rewarded with seeing her little panties because this little one loves her summer dresses. The way she looks at me is so touching. It's almost as if she knows how she affects me. I love her to death. The most special moment of our time together is when she wants cuddles and she tells me she loves me. I would do anything for her. Jul 19 Yesterday after work I was asked to watch little K, that's what I will call her, for a couple hours and I took her down for an ice cream. She wore a little skirt and white top that showed her cute belly button. At the ice cream shop we went in so it would be cooler than in the car and she just had to sit on my lap. I was all hers and to tell the truth I do not believe she would share me with anyone. After our ice cream, I took her to this small store and got her a pair of ear rings. I am so proud of her 'cause she did not get ice cream all over her pretty dress and top. When I got her home and was ready to leave, she kissed me right on my lips. She has never done this before and her mom smiled watching. I did not want to leave her. K, is just turned 6. She is my little angel. Jul 19 I believe I was four when I found the art of rubbing. It was about the age of 8 I found out what sex was through my cousin. She was 10 at the time and she taught me many things that I will not describe here, but the result is I have never dated boys. I'm a pure girly girl, and yes gay. Jul 22 I can't help looking at little girls in a sexual way, though I have never physically touched one sexually. I think that's because I fear the end result of the law and I fear that it could hurt her mental stability. I remember my parents protecting me from pedophiles as I grew up and can remember my mom telling me to never allow anyone to touch me. Now I am 17 and crave that forbidden lusting urge. It's funny how things are. I may desire them and masturbate thinking of them, and enjoy the moments spent with them, but it would take a large magical button for me to cross that fine line. This is such a hard issue for me because it has been hard for me to accept what I am. Yes, I do desire girls my age and a bit older, but my real lust is for little girls. Jul 25 It's so hard at times, knowing you're in love with a child. To watch her every move. Her innocent smile and moments when she allows you a glimpse of her panties or possibly more. Her kiss, those soft sweet tasting lips upon your own. Her soft skin and warm embrace. Her breath upon your neck as you hold her. When you bathe her and she closes her eyes as you wash her all over. Your emotions, you wish to but yet hold back. Those special moments when you see her pleasuring and understand she is rewarding you with trust and love. Yes, it's hard. Yes I am a lover of a child. Yesterday when I bathed her I watched her face. She smiled, closed her eyes. When I dried her and rubbed baby oil on her she held onto my hands. My little lover. Jul 28 This is so cute, I just had to post it. Yesterday after work I promised K I would take her swimming at the kiddy pool in the park. First off I was late picking her up. I was forgiven, but told not to be late again. She is such a charm. Turns out she had been waiting for me half the day. So we get to the park and I spread out a towel as she runs to the pool. She loves water. (only two other children there) I go over and sit with my feet in the pool as she frolicks around in the water. So, there is one spot in the pool where the water comes in from the pump house and you can see the force of the water on the surface. K headed right over to it and sat right on it. Now girls, we know the art of water pleasure, and I am sure K just loved it 'cause after about 4 to 5 minutes of sitting there, with her eyes shut, she stood up, and when she tried to wade over to me she fell forward into the water. I could not help but smile and yes giggle a bit and when she did get over to me she wanted to get into my lap and cuddle. I slid down into the shallow water and just held her. Yes we got an ice cream on the way home with lots of "I promise to bring you back to the pool again soon" and kisses before I went home. Jul 28 One can learn from what others have to say as well as get a feeling of understanding of their own life. I think one of the biggest topics is on being a pedophile and society. In a recent talk with my dad we got around to the subject of race and people who judge others, etcetera. My dad said that people who judge others for their color, religion or beliefs are usually people who fear what they do not understand. I really believe that's true. When people don't understand something or someone they tend to form opinions and then judge them. I mean what's in the word pedophile? It's only a word used to describe a group of people who, like me, desire sex with young children. A word, nothing more. Dad said some words hold lots of power and that's because of how the word is used in context with other words and or how others view that context of words. I admit I don't know everything, but I do know that our society has become one of hate and that people spend lots of time judging others. The thing what bothers me the most is hate and ignorance. People should first come to understand something or someone before they judge that person. Personaly I see nothing wrong in being a child lover. Being a pedophile does not make me a bad person. Jul 29 I like my little girl in tight white panties and a large T-shirt and by this I mean I get those innocent little peekaboo sexy eye-catching moments. :P But I also like to see her naked and that look in her eye that tells you she knows you're looking at her. Aug 7 Sex offenders. This is a really controversial subject. A damned if you do and a damn if you don't. The problem, I see, is how do you separate the real harmful sex offenders from the real child lovers. Our system is set up to class any and all who engage in sexual acts with children as sex offenders. I believe this is because sex with children is a crime in most countries and it's easier for the courts to deal with everyone under a single classification. The thing that bothers me is people who force and yes harm children for sex. These are the sex offenders who need to be put away for a long time. They are not child lovers. They are predators who seek out children for the purpose of self gratification at the expense of the child. They care not whom they hurt. Thus, they belong locked up and kept away from society and children. The other problem I see is our system is not 100% accurate or should say fool proof and thus innocent people get caught up in it. I think this has to do with public pressure on the system to seek out and get these so called sex offenders off the street. They have gone as far as to believe the child and not the adult syndrome. Or should say, whatever the child tells them, they use it in another form of context and say it's for the protection of the child and society and in doing so they justify locking people up, innocent or guilty. A true child lover is one who is not out for self gratification but wants to share their love with the child whom they have affection for. They desire mutual pleasure, love and tenderness. They mean no harm to the child. Children understand far more than what adults give them credit for. As to a sex offender who harms, rapes and brings a child mental and physical pain, lock them up for a long time. They are not child lovers. P.S. I know I haven't been on much, a girl's time of the you-know and I get really sad at that time, but am still here. :P Aug 7 I recently bought little K a pink cotton thong that ties off on the sides. It's a bit grown up for her and had planed to wait till she is older before giving it to her. I was talking to her mom the other day and talk got around to little K and how she is growing up fast and how pretty she looks and then out of the blue her mom said she loves seeing little K wearing dainty or should say skimpy panties. I was a bit shocked because her mom has never talked like that before and I was a bit slow to respond because I was not too sure what to say. After some more talk I asked her if she would mind me buying little K something sexy and her mom said, no she would not mind at all, with a smile. So I told her about the pink thong I bought and wanted to give little K. Two days later I brought the thong with me and showed it to little K's mom and she liked it and said it would be OK to give her. I could hardly hide my joy and presented it to little K. She was all excited and wanted to put it on right there and started to remove her shorts and seeing we were all girls there Mom let her and together her mom and I helped little K put on her new pink thong. Yes it was a little grown up for her but she looked so adorable in it and we both watched her spin around and show it off for us. She wanted to keep it on and her mom said that was fine. So, after her mom took off I was left in the house with this adorable sweet little girl who was wearing this skimpy pink thong, and let me tell you, she looked yummy, and I was rewarded more than once with some very cute poses that gave me some very good views of her precious little peach. At one point she was lying on her tummy on the floor facing away from me and she spread herself for me and turned her head and smiled at me. It was good that I brought some dry panties with me. When her mom came home Little K was in bed and still wearing her new thong. Her mom said it's going to be hard to get her to take them off and we both stood there looking at her beauty. Funny how things work out and how some wishes come true. Little K's mom has invited me to join her and little K for a trip to her friend's camp on a lake up in New Hampshire for a whole 5 days. Then she asked me if I have ever been nude around other people. As it turns out, her friend has a private place on the lake and they go nude. She said it will be a first for little K and mine to. Also her mom said her friend is a lesbian and asked if I had any problems with that. I told her no and came right out and told her I prefer girls. She just looked at me and said she never would have guessed and did something I would have never thought, she hugged me. We had a really good chat, but I did not tell her my love for little girls. That's something I thought best to keep to myself. Aug 9 When I hold little K or watch her, I get very wet. I have orgasmed too. Sorry I can't help it. Aug 10 I'm just about ready to take off on my trip to the lake. I shall be there 5 days. :P I am hoping that there be Internet there and am taking my laptop with me. If so, will check in if possible. Hugs and Kisses to everyone. P.S. I'm a bit scared. I have never been nude around people I really don't know, but am excited at the same time. Aug 11 I'm here in New Hampshire. It was a 17 hour drive. Yes I have Internet here :D There are 7 of us. I'm next to the youngest, the youngest being little K. I will say that it is really nice going nude and that I am having a really nice time. Little K is with me every moment and I am so happy there is Internet here. I was told "not to spend much time on it because we are here to get away from everyone and etcetera. :D but they all laughed when I said I wanted to check mail and send home a message. My parents have no idea that I am going around nude and would flip if they knew. :P These ladies are so pretty and I'm having a wonderful time. Aug 12 The camp is set on a remote side of the lake on an inlet that gives really good privacy and is sort of hidden in the trees which provide much shade. There are cedar trees all over and the scent of the cedar is really pleasant. There is a small sandy beach area where you can go swimming and a small dock. The woman who owns the place, I shall call her Paula, is in her 30's. She sort of reminds me of a madam because she is always saying, "Come ladies" and seeing that everyone is active and having fun. By the way, she has a really nice body and is a sensual person. There are six guests here. I was told by Little K's mom that all the women know Paula from their college days and that they formed this little group and they get together every summer. I'm a newcomer and they have taken me in with warm open arms. I have told the girls I am going to write about my stay here in my diary and will change the names. Ages do not mean much but wanted to say what age Paula is because I felt it important. So there is: The camp has four small bedrooms Dawn and Kim brought their pop-up camper and Paula has a pop-up and Jill was in that, the rest of us are in the camp. Little K and I share a bedroom and little K just loves that. There is an outdoor shower, with hot water, a deck and out away from the camp there is a fire pit for evening use. We're not far from town but the road in is dirt and very remote. There is electricity, cable and yes I even have Internet. Paula lives in New York and she needs to keep in contact with her business when she is here. The trip up here was long. I sat in the back seat with little K because she wanted me to. The little dear slept most of the trip. We stopped for food and to walk, but we got here safe. It was late when we got to the camp. To be greeted by six naked women, all hugging you with smiles is something I shall never forget. To present myself naked before these lovely ladies is quite another story. This is the intro to my trip. Part two coming up. Aug 12 Part Two - The Fun Part After greeting everyone, we were shown to our room and told to come down and eat and chat. Little K's mom said we were to go back down naked and left me and little K to freshen up and get ready. It's sort of funny. Little K was sitting on the bed and I started removing my clothes, she just stared at me as I did so and when I removed my panties she said, "You're pretty" and said, "Now me." I helped her and when she was naked, I have seen her before, but there was something more special about this time. She looked at me and said, "Shandi, you're like me" and pointed to my naked puss and then to hers as I'm shaven and she has no hair yet. When she did that she touched herself in a way I have never seen. It was hard at that moment because I did not want to go down and greet strange women naked for the first time and be totally aroused. So I said, "Let's go down," and we did. When we went down we were greeted with ahhhs and "Shandi you're so pretty" and "Who is that lovely little girl with you?" and "Girl you are very sexy." I was not prepared for that and sort of felt embarrassed and I know I was blushing. But there I stood with little K beside me looking around the room at the most lovely display of naked women I have ever seen. A couple sat with their legs open and I could see their pussies. I am a very sexual person and I knew I was wet. We sat down and went around the room and did an introduction of each person. Every girl there was a lesbian. Little K's mom is the only one there who had a child by a man. The rest of the girls, like me, were very independent of men and yes a few did at one time date men but prefer sex with girls more. Little K, sat beside me and I could feel her hand on my leg. I kept on talking and trying to look normal but it was hard. Little K's mom was smiling and holding this woman's hand and yes they kissed. It was so sexy. I was so wet and I tried to keep my legs together but it was so impossible to do. I was aroused, very aroused. That and little K's hand was wandering and everyone just kept smiling and acting like it was all normal. Dawn kept looking at us and smiling. I just know they could tell I was aroused. My nipples were hard and something I have never shared. I have very prominent pussy lips. They're puffy and I have a very sensitive spot that, well I am sure is quite noticeable. But no one said a thing, and we all ate and after, because it was really late, went to bed. Thus the real fun begins. Aug 12 Our first night was something to remember. Before going to my room with little K, her mom gave her a kiss good night and then gave me one right on my lips and held me close to her body. I could feel her nipples against me and, she is not shaved, her bush brushed me. It was a very moving moment. She said something I shall remember always. She said she is happy that I came along and happy that little K loves me so. "Do you know she adores you?" she asked me. I kept silent in her arms. "My little girl loves you very much. My little girl is special and she chose you. Be gentle with her," as she held me tighter and her leg slipped between my legs. "Darling, you're wet." I know I was blushing and could not look at her. "I have always wanted to see your lovely body," she said and I felt her hand pull my body tighter to hers. After a moment, she let me go and bid us both good night. I stood there trembling, watching her walk to her room. Before going to bed, I asked little K if she needed to pee and she said no so we got into bed and before I had a chance to fluff the pillow she pressed herself against me. This was the first time she has ever seen me naked and the first time I have ever felt her naked body against mine. It was soft and warm and felt so good. I was both excited and very tired from the trip and yeah, I lay there caressing her and she fell asleep in my arms. I lay awake a bit just caressing her and feeling her soft warm body. There will be another day. Another moment to share but for now sleep. Aug 12 It's my first full day here and upon waking up I spent a few moments cuddling and caressing my sweet little K who was wide awake and all so warm and soft in my arms. We had breakfast on the deck, and it's one thing to be naked in the camp under lights but outdoors in full light is so much better and I got to admire all the wonderful naked bodies around me. K's mom kissed us both and caressed my belly right in front of everyone when she came out. Oh, and I'm to call her Mom, 'cause as she said K and I are her two baby girls. After breakfast we went down to the lake to soak up some sun and yeah, girl talk. I was amazed at how the other girls were so relaxed at touching themselves right in front of each other. They did it as if it were natural and I suppose the conversation did not help much because is was about lesbian movies and past love affairs and sexual things. K wanted to make a sand castle on what sandy beach there was so she and I went to work on one. We did get a small one built and by mid morning she wanted to swim so I took her in the water and splashed about with her. Our host had some inner tubes and a couple inflatables and I took Little K out on an inflatable. She giggled and was so happy. When we got back to the beach and were relaxing with the ladies on our beach recliners, K was on my lap as I put sun block on her and she had her eyes closed and was playing with my breast. She was feeling my nipple and gently caressing me. I looked around and no one paid much mind to it but K's mom who smiled and said, "Looks like Shandi has a special friend," and everyone agreed and smiled. At one point before lunch, K said she needed to pee and our host told her, "Go on honey, just pee where you want," and she did right there in the grass. Everyone watched and I must say it was all so erotic. K's mom insisted she put sun block on my back and told me to sit between her legs. As she put the block on me her other hand held my tummy and kept pulling me to her. At one point her hand moved up to my breast and she said I have pretty nipples and caressed them for me. Then she started kissing my neck and her hand moved down and touched me for a brief moment. Funny thing, I did not even think about the other people there and when she touched me I spread my legs for her and in that brief moment her finger found my spot and pressed down on it. When she pulled her hand away I kept my legs spread and leaned back against her. It was a very nice moment. I turned my head around and found her lips. After lunch we all got dressed and went to town. Little K insisted that she did not want to wear panties under her shorts and so we both went without panties. We bought food and yeah, like normal girls, there was a small shopping center and I suppose it they would call it a mini mall up here in the country and there was this little boutique there and I got K this lovely baby-blue sun bonnet with flowers on it. She needs protection from the sun. Then we all got an ice cream and headed back to camp for a boat ride around the main lake, with clothes on. It was really fun and there were a lot of people boating, swimming, fishing and water skiing. We got back early evening and got a fire going and cooked a wonderful dinner. (more to come) Aug 13 The previous evening K went to bed early 'cause she was a very tired girl and I stayed up with the girls. Our host has a screened-in deck and she wheeled out the TV on the deck and we watched a movie, had popcorn and oh, it was really nice. The video was, yes a lesbian movie, and one cannot help a normal reaction to watching two women having hot steamy sex together. (XXX-rated) hot..hot.. Thus a few moments in the movie found my hand seeking out my pussy. The deck lights were low and it just felt right. I was so wet and I saw that around me I was not the only one, so I just relaxed and let myself go. K's mom is a very hot woman. She has perfect breasts and pert nipples and a trimmed bush with lovely pussy lips. I kept looking from the movie to her and watched her as she masturbated to the movie. It was so hot. Some of the other girls were kissing and so I got up and knelt between K's mom's legs and started kissing her inner thigh. I wanted her. I think we both knew it was coming. I worked my way towards that sweet lovely pussy and made love to her with my tongue. It just seemed natural and I was so turned on. She kept saying "baby" and "oh" and before long she rewarded me with her nectar. Then it was my turn and I think if there it were possible I would have spread my legs wide to the moon because she made me cum so hard. I went to bed with her that night. I loved every part of that woman and shared with her my secrets. Before falling off to sleep and lying in her arms she said that she wanted me from the first time she saw me. I felt so loved and special. There was not a part of my body that she did not touch and I went to sleep in her arms like a baby. Sometime during the night K came in and got into bed with us. She cuddled right up to me, between her mom and me and wanted a bit of loving. Such a darling. I gave her that loving with my hand and she opened up for me. She pressed herself into my hand as I gently rubbed her little puss. Her body was warm and soft. K does not say much with words or sounds. She just holds on to you and likes to close her eyes and use her body to express herself. She moved with my finger and I could feel her breath on my neck. She just kept pressing and spreading. I love her so much. She slept the remainder of the night up against me. Aug 13 I have just a few moments and have to get back to the group. I wanted to share this with you all because I thought it means a lot. The lady who owns the camp here, she and I had a long talk today and this is what she said. "So Shandi, I see you're a lover of young girls." I did not know what to say and she said, "There is nothing wrong in loving children." She went on to say that grown ups tend to forget that children are people too and that they do know how to think. She said, "Example, they know what joy and pain is. They know what they like, peas, liver, people. They have a great sense of knowing when someone loves them or someone is going to harm them." She said it's adults who do the thinking for the child and dictate what's best for the child. She also said when a child loves someone it does them far more harm to be torn away from that love. That child lovers are good people. Yes there are a few who do harm children and they are called predators not lovers. I'm writing everything down so I can share with everyone. We are having a wonderful time. Little K is in heaven, so am I. She is by my side every moment and her mom is a true lover, all so gentle and caring. Got to go. Hugs and Kisses. Aug 13 My parents once told me that you will meet important people in your life in the most unusual way and places. Well it seems it's true because the next morning was my turn to make coffee and I got to have a very good chat with our host. I love to write and I keep a diary on my computer and after talking with her I showed her my writing and she asked me if I ever thought of becoming a writer or a Journalist. I will be in my last year of high school and have really not thought of college. I love working at the book store and yeah, have thought about writing a book, a few times, but not college. I do love school but, well I just never really thought myself college girl. So, she goes on to tell me I should expand my education after graduation and then she told me to get in contact with her and she would help me. I am wondering what my parents will say, but that moment has not come so will not worry now. After we had our morning coffee, bacon and eggs, K and I went down to the lake and there was a slight morning fog hanging over the water. We walked along the water edge together and when the fog lifted there was a fishing boat in the inlet with two men in it. They saw us and looked. You should have seen the look on their faces and ours because K let out a little scream and we ran up to the camp. So. We are not so secluded as I thought. We sat on the deck and all the older girls laughed at our silly scare and when we went back down to the lake edge the boat was gone. It was a lazy day and everyone just lazed around. K and I cuddled up on a lounger and soaked up some sun and after three hours I got a burn on the back of my legs. It was not so bad but hurt some. Aug 14 That next morning we took a trip to Clarks Trading Post up in the White Mountains. They have black Bears in cages and put on a Black Bear show. It's really neat. We all laughed when they gave this one Bear ice cream and the man said they love ice cream. Then we went through this little museum and went on a steam train ride. It was all so much fun. After which we got our lunch and found this really lovely off the road spot to eat. It was a very long day but fun. We got back and all went for a swim and one girl bought an ice cream maker so yes we made ice cream. Little K just loves her ice cream and kept asking if it was ready yet over and over. She got herself a little umbrella with flowers on it on our day trip and looked so cute walking around with it. Like a little lady out for a stroll. That evening we sat around talking and we all shared a bit about ourselves. I learned a lot about the other girls here. I never knew. My own sexual awakening I shared and it felt good to share such things with people that for some reason I trusted. K was full of energy this evening and it was really nice out so I took her out on the inflatable on the lake for an evening swim. I held on to her and we floated out 20 feet from shore and just enjoyed the evening with all the stars. She sat between my legs while I held her placing little kisses on her neck. When we got back everyone was roasting marshmallows and hotdogs. While sitting at the fire, I started tickling K and she giggled. She loves being tickled, then I started kissing her all over, little pecks, and she said, "Shandi you forgot a spot," and I asked where and she pointed to her little puss. Everyone started laughing and yeah, I could not disappoint her and planted a big kiss right there for her. One of the girls told K she was a naughty girl, joking, and K giggled. I am to believe that K is much smarter that one would think. She knows what she likes and wants and will let you now. I also think her mom is a very sexual person and I blush every time she admires my naked body or touches me which she does when ever she can. She can get me wet just talking to me. Like tonight she told everyone that I have a very sweet pussy and how I love to have her touch it. I sat there blushing. Earlier today she fingered me in the car and when we got back here my panties were drenched. More in a bit.... Aug 18 Got back late last night. Sad to be home but had such a wonderful time. No work today so will rest and catch up my diary for everyone. Aug 19 Interlude As I said, Kim And Dawn are lovers and they are very open about it. K likes Dawn and I think it's because she is young and so out going where Kim is more I would say adult like and reserved. Little K got all sorts of gifts from Dawn and yes other girls too but Dawn would shower her with attention and Little K just loved it. Persoanly I think Dawn was drawn to K and yeah, K rewarded her with kisses and huggles. It was fun to watch them interact. You should have seen everyones face when K wore her thong I bought her. There were ohhhh's and aaaa's and "She is so cute." I was very proud of K. She acted like a real lady at camp. As I said, I am starting to believe she knows more than one would believe. Now K likes to exploit things. When she finds something that draws attention, she will do it over and over. Thus, she found that everyone liked watching her pee and whenever she needed to pee she would be sure to do it where everyone could see. Down at the water's edge while making a sand castle I got a real close view and it was very erotic. After which she wanted touchies and feelies, which was fine with me. Mom and I have had a wonderful long talk and as it turns out she has desired me since the moment she first looked upon me. She is in her 30's and has a very nice body. Yes, we are lovers now. I submit to her every touch. K and I are her two girls and I feel so loved and cared for. K now calls me Sis because Mom told her I am her big sis. It's funny in itself. But her mom is a very deep loving woman. When she touches me, it sends shivers through my body. I have yet to figure out on how to tell my family I am gay. I think my mom knows but my dad would possibly freak out. He is always telling me that he hopes I find a nice boy and get married and have children. Haaaa. Mom sort of just looks at me with that knowing look and we have had a few chats about sex, mother to daughter, and she told me she masturbates and even told me she had a special girlfriend when she was young. But I never told her I am into girls. Everyone at the camp have told me that I should not worry so much about it that nature will prevail. Dawn said my dad would possibly accept it more than I think. I hope she is right. It feels really strange being around people like you. So much acceptance, love. It gets a little too much at moments. Like I cannot believe this is real. Being kissed, touched and loved before others is very moving and when you let yourself go it becomes more meaningful. We spent a lot of time talking. I spoke to each woman in private moments, learning and sharing. They all had lots to offer. I must go back to school this coming week. So I suppose this means I must act within the norms of society. Funny thing about that. Norms of society. It really does dictate how we are to act in society. Even the girls at the camp agree on that. We go out in society every day and are expected to act a certain way. This is wrong and this is right. It's going to be harder for me this last year of school. I am a different woman now. I feel things I did not feel before. I see things differently. I see nothing wrong in my choice of lovers and sex. I am proud of myself and happy with what I am outside and inside. I feel like I'm going to have a wonderful life ahead. I am normal though, and in private I do have my moments of depression and doubt, after all I am only human. I also have this insecure feeling about my body. My breast are too small. My eyes too big. I worry what others are thinking. But this whole week has taught me that all these self insecure thoughts are minor compared to other people's problems. Oops. got to go. I'm working today. Aug 19 Of all the little-girl moments I have had the tea party stands out to be the best. My little girl just loves tea parties. Naturaly we have to dress up and she loves to serve the tea and yes crumpets. All her dolls attend. It's a special moment. Aug 21 Obsession & Desire - Camp Diary I confess that I am a compulsive masturbator. I have been ever since that tender age when I found my pussy could give me lots of pleasure. As I grew up, the need to touch myself grew more and more and to this day, I masturbate every day. As you can imagine I am quite easy to arouse. I have grown quite use to damp panties and admit that wetting my panties is a turn on. I use to stare at my body all the time, when I was younger, and watch myself as I masturbate. I am relating all this because it brings me to that moment when I went to camp and found myself, for the first time, removing my clothes and going naked in front of other women for the first time. I was scared at first, but deep down there was this erotic feeling going on and the more clothing I removed the more I wanted to reveal my naked body. I was wet. Standing there being looked at made me wet and I wanted to touch my pussy so bad but did not. Something about these strange women made me feel it was OK to be me. I think it was the way they acted as I got naked. All the ohh's and "you're pretty" and the hugs. I just felt good inside and wanted them to see all of me. It's very hard to describe all the feelings but it was very pleasing and all good. I look back at how some of the girls would sit there and every so often spread their legs. I liked those moments. Most were shaved, trimmed and that provided a very good view. I myself am shaved. I never liked hair down there. I look back at sitting there with those women and like them I would spread myself to them every so often. I know they could see my wetness. I was in a constant state of arousal around them. I felt like a little naughty girl. Every so often I would touch myself, I could not help it. I wanted it so bad. I would watch every one of them, smiling, looking, showing and to make things worse I was being confronted with the object of my desire, little K. Innocence is something to cherish. Such beauty and innocence. She shines with every look that she gives you. She would go about her little girl play and never think for one moment about her body language, or it's possible I am missing something here. I would be talking with one of the girls and glance over and see K with her legs spread wide lying on her recliner showing her all to the world. Once I caught her touching herself. I came and felt a bit embarrassed. I think it was very obvious to the others what I wanted, sexually. Our third day there I masturbated down by the water. I know I was watched. K's mom commented to me about my state of arousal. Her finger felt so good. It slipped in easy and pleasured me so much. I want to tell you that I am an oral girl. I like oral sex. Oral pleasure is intense and I love the taste. K's mom loves it too. Am I daring enough to include K on that? I am unable to speak of certain things because there are other people who read this. This is an open diary. It is hoped that you can read between the lines. That is for those who know me for what I am. Our host told me that there was nothing for me to be embarrassed about. She said it's better to live your life true to what you are rather than pretend to be what you're not. She also said that she can see the love between K and me. I'm still a bit confused about everything. I'm still very careful about it all. I wish I were able to describe K. She is the object of my desire. She knows. Her body is so pretty. So warm and soft. Her smile and that look she gives me. Is it worth it? Yes it is. |